Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Australia...

SO i was down under from 12-16 dec for the annual family holiday. i must be frank from the out; i was not keen on this trip for a variety of reasons which i have no intention of uttering. anyway, we were to go to melbourne and sydney. the only thing i remember doing in melbourne is driving on the Great Ocean Road to go see the 12 Apostles. it was a whole day kinda thing. of course the views from on the great ocean road were simply breathtaking and transcendent of this earth at times. seeing the 12 apostles was a little surreal for me, i didnt think i'd see them so soon. anyway, i think the 12 apostles have ever since been whittled down to 10 or 11. i cant rmbr. inconsequential. haha. and i went on a shopping spree at the direct factory outlets. wheee!

Ok sry. moving on to sydney. i loved sydney much more. btw, to get to sydney from melbourne we took a train ride. 12 fricking hours. "oh it'll be fun, you know, take the scenic route" yeah sure. 12 hours that drove me insane. god i'd never been so glad to step out of a freaking train. thank god we went first class. so i got to sydney on friday night, and over there, friday and saturday nights are apparently party nights for the denizens of sydney. and my hotel was in a very...interesting shall we say, district. lets just say that the moment i walked out of the hotel to explore my environs, all i saw was wild revelry and pomp. thats a very nice way of putting it. it was scary at first, and a bit overwhelming for this conservative, Asian-born boy (those of you coughing and choking, shut up =p) . after that, it was just a matter of getting used to. sydney was much more fascinating. more urban. guess thats what i am. an urban boy. anyway. we went to paddington's markets, which sells all sorts of stuff, and its only open on saturdays in this sch compound, so that was cool. then went to go check out the sydney harbour bridge, one of their national icons. did the bridgeclimb, where u actly walk on the arch of the bridge. FREAKING cool. i absolutely recommend it to everyone. then of course did the touristy thing at the opera house. went for a day trip to the blue mountains. the landscape there was simply otherworldly. i was just gawking at the scenery sometimes. and i got to sit on the edge of a sheer drop with my legs dangling over the precipice. BEST! haha. that day trip was my fave part of the whole trip with the bridgeclimb coming in next. lol. and of cos the usual seafood dinner by darling harbour. amazing.

So all in all, it was a successful trip, but i wont be going back ther again. nt much else. so yeah thats abt it for my holiday. so what'd you all do? ~

Sunday, December 20, 2009

One Chance...

So let's give this one more chance. Cheers.

Monday, November 30, 2009

On Relationships and Tarts...

AS cheesy as this entry's title sounds, or however similar it may be to the title of a certain novel, just ignore it. i knw, the tarts are completely non sequitur, but i didnt want to put it into a separate entry. so anyway, firstly, relationships.

I think i can finally confirmed that i have officially lost all faith in relationships. maybe there used to be a shadow or flicker of faith, but i know all that has been completely defenestrated. it's for the better i suppose. i'm not gonna believe in anymore fairytale endings, or happy ever afters, cos looking at things now, all thats just a pile of rotting crap. sry if anyone feels insulted, but yeah thats my opinion, which i am entitled to. but i digress. i rly dun think i can ever summon the courage anymore to have a relationship. besides, its so troublesome. im rly not willing to give out my heart so keenly again. i dun rly think its that bad, growing old alone. having ur own life. i mean, i could focus on my career, amass wealth (hopefully), donate to charities, take care of my parents etc. have a few close friends. honestly, i dun see myself missing out on much. stay in a small, cosy, studio apt if my parents dun want me with them. haha. go to work, come back, cook dinner. watch tv, play games, do work, sleep, have breakfast, repeat. hmph. and the household chores. etc. lol. im already imagining my future.

Sure, ppl will argue u ought to have someone to be ur companion to grow old with, ur other half. but hey, then u'd have to worry abt ur partner, and there'll be all the emotional upheaval and god knws wat other crap. sry, but i dun think i wanna subject myself to all that. ok, so i wont have children. big deal. i just hv to explain to my parents. XD. i guess, its been happening over the last few years, and i just wondered when i'd finally admit it. as a wise sith lord once said, ''it is a terrible thing to fall, but far more terrible, is to admit it''. oh such sagacity. i pledge myself to your teachings, darth kreia. lol. yeah, sure i might be taking all this with a cavalier attitude, but i assure u, i mean every word i say, and this isnt some random teenager's angsty rant or something. basically, im just far too afraid of getting hurt again. so call me coward, or whatever u want, but hey, its. my. life. period. so if i say anymore, im just gonna end up repeating points, which we all knw is terrible, terrible writing. haha.

So, without further ado, i bid thee adieu. oh poetry. la lingua amor. btw, heres a pic of pineapple tarts i just baked today cos i was craving them. lovely. (btw, im open for orders for christmas, new years, CNY etc. leave a msg if u want). cyaz ~

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Spring Onion Pancake - 葱油饼...

I decided to try my hand at this traditional ( I think) Chinese snack, cos i wanted a light dinner tonight, nothing too heavy. it's turned out quite beautifully, and tastes quite nice. haha. thank heavens. here, take a look.

Monday, November 23, 2009



credits for the pic:http://www.photographyserved.com/Gallery/

Stuff...

SO yeah, the holidays have begun, and i'm already getting bored. i just cleared out my room today, of all the secondary sch stuff. a bit nostalgic, as i reminisce about the past 4 years of my life, the best 4 years ever. im sad it has to end. but nvm that. at least my study is much more organised now. so well, ther hasnt been much gg on rly. im rly radiating ennui everyday. nyayi and uncle ijal have gone back. it was a fun and dynamic 2 weeks with them. last week went to zh's house for a sleepover. fun enough. haha. had grad night on 2oth. its barely been a week since o levels ended, but it feels like an eternity. sigh. thers just so much time to think about so many things, now that im not preoccupied with mugging. oh yeah, i keep thinking that i should mug, but then i rmbr o lvls are over. its a bit freaky actly. i feel kinda bad that im not mugging. i thot of getting a headstart for the syllabus in JC, esp for science and all that. we'll see. i rly need to occupy my time meaningfully. anyway. grad night was nice i guess. sorry for the random jumping topics. thats the condition my mind is in currently; disoriented and scattered. but anw. grad night. right. well the food exceeded expectations, though i must concede my expectations hadn't been that high. the entertainment was nice. it was so sobering watching so many different ppl perform on stage. perform marvellously. and switching multiple instruments. and here i am, with a G4 violin, and G4 piano (the violin i cant even remember how to play, and not owning one that i can play), i was perpetually gazing in awe. very humbling. haha. of cos the usual games were...amusing.. i suppose, and there were the usual honours given out. speeches. etc etc. honestly though, i had much more fun aft grad night. some pics. they wanted to go up to the cemetery (at 1030pm) but i refused pointblank. LOL. call me coward whatever. mt pleasant cemetery is very keras, and well known for being populated with pontianaks. ok nvm. haha. well i hv nothing to do today. i wanna get started on my baking this week. got some orders to fill out. and of cos thers raya this week. looking forward to that? i think. i have my reservations, for some reason. well thats it for now. ~

Friday, November 13, 2009

OVER...

OH for God's blessed name, finally my 4 years of torment are over! i cant believe it. honestly, 4 years have just breezed by. i barely noticed it, cos i was having so much fun. but i wont go into that again, ive done enough reminiscing in my previous posts. so how were the o levels? well, basically, its a fact ppl, the o levels are easy. really. not being arrogant, or overconfident, but its a fact. im just a bit jittery abt the humanities, cos as usual, cambridge kills singapore with humanities. but then again, singaporeans' humanities suck so bad. thank goodness. maths and sciences were easy. just some VERY careless and unforgivable mistakes. but nothing should be too bad, hopefully. and even for today's chem MCQ paper, i got full marks. so satisfied. anyway, so didnt do much today, cos we were all so tired for some unknown reason. so we just went to orchard, ate some light bfast, then walked ard, went for friday prayers, then went for lunch. we treated ash for his bday today, although its like, next week. but yeah, we wanted to go seoul garden, but of cos it was so goddamned packed. 1 hour waiting list. go and die lah. ppl all dying of starvation liao. so i brought us to lucky plaza (ew, i knw) where we had ayam bakar ojolali. which everyone said was nice. yay. haha. so yeah then we walked ard more. i swear i walked the whole orchard belt like 3 times today. my legs are disintegrating, and my back about to snap. but todays friday the thirteenth rly very suay. saw some ppl we did NOT want to see at orchard. EWWWW. whatever. haha. then raining like what liddat. well i finally got home at 10pm. goodness. i cant believe its over...im FREE! well, ciaoz.~

Friday, October 16, 2009

My fault...

I finally realised it. It was my fault, after all. it took me 32 months, but i finally realised it was because of me. i get it. i'm so sorry.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Illusions...

I think it's time to forever abandon some illusions that i had in the past. time for me to realise that some things will never be, and that other things will remain as they are. as much as i try to change them, they will remain as they are. no matter how much i pray for some things to happen, god doesn't seem to want to work miracles for me. i understand. who am i for him to work miracles for? being a sinner doesn't exactly allow u to qualify for god's privileges. lol. what a ludicrous analogy. just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. what a hilarious, yet succinct way of putting some things in perspective. don't ask me what. you know, i think that as humans, we have to realise and accept that what we want may not always be given to us, especially that which we crave the most. i mean, god has given me everything i could possibly want. i wanted 6 points for prelims, he granted that wish. i wanted a happy family, and a great home. he granted me it. whatever i've asked for, god has always granted it. all except a few things which i want, very, very much. they involve some things ending. and being taken away from me. i can't blame god; not when he has given me almost everything i could possibly want in this life. so for that, i thank god. and i pray to be able to go on with life, this year, as best as i can. to take everything in my stride. to work hard, and work smart, and do the best i can for the o's which are in exactly 2 weeks. it'll be over in exactly one month. from what it's worth from a sinner, o lord this i ask in your most caring and loving name. amin.

Friday, October 02, 2009

S4 Farewell and Paraliturgy 2009...

TODAY'S paraliturgy was truly a moving affair. pulled at my heartstrings to see my form teachers crying. this post is dedicated to them. Mrs Tan CP, and Ms Mara. Thank you so much for all you've both done for us, as a class, and individually, these past 2 years. these 2 years have been nothing short of extraordinary, and similarly, it is an honour to have been taught by you. i will never forget the past 2 years in S3 and S4, because it was because of you that the memories are eternal and everlasting. i pray in God's name, that you will always have the passion and zeal to continue your vocation, because it is what you do best. keep on passing on the passion. i hope God blesses your endeavours, and you too, in the future, now and always. Words really cannot express my gratitude to you both. For everything you've done for me, for us.

Next, to my class of 433'09. the past 2 years have been a rollercoaster ride, and we're the best sec 4 class ever, indubitably. tdp english. thank you for being my classmates for the past 2 years, and i've learnt many things from u guys, and i hope our friendships persevere through the future. i have gained some truly amazing friends in 433, and made some unforgivable enemies. u guys have made being in SJI upper sec a beautiful journey, from start to end. and i say now, not farewell, but best of luck to all your future endeavours, and may God always bless u. and i pray the fraternal bonds we have forged will remain, through trial, by fire...and strife.

Lastly (sorry for the immature paragraph startings, Ms Chia), to my best friends. (in no particular order of merit, u twats), michael, linus, zh, ash and brian. i found you guys in the past 2 years. i hope and pray i will never lose you guys. thank you for all that you've done for me. honestly, i dunno wher i'd be now if it weren't for u guys. u guys have made my life that much brighter, and i admit that that is no mean feat. u guys made me know what it felt like to be happy again, to find my sun in a world of darkness. u guys have been there for me no matter what. no matter how bitchy, how arrogant, how twatty, how annoying i was, you stood by me. yet again (im using this so often, sry for not paraphrasing), mortal words fail to express my absolute gratitude, jubilance, hope and love you guys have inspired within me. you gave to my life, meaning, and purpose. it was for you guys that i could find the strength to get up every morning. sry if it sounds so dramatic, but this comes from the bottom of my heart. i wish that i can always be there for u guys, in one way or another, even if not physically. i'm sorry for all that i've done wrong, for what i didn't do as a friend, and i'm sorry for not being the best of friends at times. i'm sorry for all my inadequacies and my sins, faults and failures as a friend. i hope you can forgive me. i pray always that we remain friends, and that God blesses and blesses your lives, touches your hearts and guides you through whatever you do. let God teach you how to love. and always love.

Aaaaand, as a bonus, one more paragraph. to all the swine who tried their best to make my life in SJI hell, whether it was a (Chief) bitchy teacher, or several motherfu*king students, i have a few things to say. most importantly, thank you. thank you for making my blood pressure rise, and my arteries almost burst. thank you, because what doesn't kill you, only makes me stronger. so thank you for making me stronger. next, just some words of wisdom. try not to go through life so bitter. i really pity you. you're pathetic. sadly so. try, try for some soulsearching. i pray it works. God help you.

And that brings us to the end, almost. just a bit more. SJI taught me many things. most importantly however, it taught me how to love. i'm sorry for making life so difficult, i never meant to. all i wanted was to show some concern, and be a friend. i'm sorry it didn't work out. truly. i will always remember it. and i will always cry for it. but thank you. God loves you, and i pray you find what you are looking for, and true happiness.

So to everything, and everyone who has come into my life these past 4 years in SJI, a big THANK YOU. i can't say how much you mean to me, for those footprints you've left on my heart.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Love...

LOVE is such a sublime yet powerful thing in this world. we all know the extent of love's capabilities is endless, infinite. love can cause wars, or end them. love can create life...or end it. thus we see the omnipotence of love itself. what i want to question today is a relatively simple matter: can love be unholy? even if its against conventions, against everything, if everyone in the world were against that love. discourse time. haha.

Most importantly, i must establish my own viewpoint on this matter. i will forever believe that ALL love is beautiful. i believe there is no such thing as a forbidden or wrong love. and if u love someone, and u find that ppl are against it, then i wld ask u to keep loving that person no matter what. love transcends all. omnia vincit amor. la veritatis. honestly. love is the most powerful emotion any human can feel and should feel. not hatred, not anger, but love. i think there is no such thing as wrong, unholy, unconventional love et al. because i believe, i know that all love is sacred. all love is pure. and i cannot believe that God would ever condemn a human for loving. EVER. i think God definitely condemns hate. but never love. God taught us to love. and that is why i dun believe that ther can be such a thing as wrong love. why should love ever be wrong?

Is it wrong to care for someone? i don't think so. caring for a person shows how human u are, and it just shows how mature u are, i feel, in accepting that all kinds of love exist in this world, and embracing that possibility. rather than being insular or religious (or whatever crappy excuse u can come up with), just try and open ur eyes a little bit more. no, dun be daft. this isnt aimed at anyone in particular. its just my opinion. and if it sounds like u, then yes im talking to u. in fact, im still talking to everyone about this. it would a much better world if there was more love. i just had to write an essay on my ideal world and why it is so. and one of the things in my perfect world would be that everyone loved, and only loved. sigh. so quixotic, so impossible. why?

We must really reflect. what is our world coming to? what happened to humanity, and to love? i fear that we have fallen too far from our true selves, our basic and intrinsic nature, our innate humanity. we have given it up for God only knows what. it has become so difficult for us to love. its very scary. and its really no use lying to yourself. its gonna be a big problem. think about it.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!...

SELAMAT hari raya bagi tahun 1430 H bersamaan dgn tahun 2009 kepada semua umat islam yang mengunjungi blog yang sangat masyhur ini! mohon maaf zahir dan batin, dan ampun maaf dipinta bagi segala kesalahan dan diharap sengketa-sengketa akan diampunkan! haha. so yeah. it felt so good to be celebrating raya today. i felt so alive. due to a number of specific reasons. yes im very high. the raya atmosphere hasnt deserted me. ill be gg visiting again tmr. cant wait for that. back to sch on tue though. grr. but today just went to my gran's hse as usual, thats like HQ for the first day. stuffed myself. sigh. all my workouts during fasting month negated in 1 day. i cannot eat too much tmr. honestly. haha. pictures will be up as soon as i can get the pics from the cam. stupid dslr doesnt have a usb cable and my com cant read SDHC cards. typical. so yeah.

Anyway, yesterday was my graduation. it was an extremely heart-wrenching affair. for many reasons. i will not attempt to expound for it will be extremely maudlin and excessive. i dun believe in much self-indulgence. :p so yeah. so thats abt it for now. im so beat. honestly. so catch y'all later!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Fasting...

I am being held at knifepoint by Ironman to blog. dun blame me. anyway. todays the 22nd day of fasting. its been quite fast actually, but still, very taxing for me. dunno why. i mean, im kinda sad that its over for this year, but i still say i miss being able to eat whenever and wherever i want to. haha. especially when i go out. haiz. honestly. im rather glad its ending. so this past week has been the september hols. havent done any studying at all. >.< screwed. haha. just went out with my friends a lot. finished up OMF's maths hw. thats all. oh yeah, and i went for the Dead Sea Scrolls Exhibition. pictures will be up soon. im too lazy. hopefully. haha.

i started baking kueh raya yesterday. so penat. honestly. its so taxing. just finished the pineapple tart batch today. hopefully tomorrow i can start on the kueh makmur. then after that the biskut coklat berinti. and this week is such a busy week in school. i really dunno how im gonna survive this week. ill just be so zoned out in school. haha. what a sight to behold. and who still has mock exams? CRAP. stupid ideas. hmph. anyway, on a happier note, SJI is one of the 2 schools this year to be awarded the School Excellence Award (SEA), the highest award offered by MOE to any educational institution in recognition of their outstanding pedagogy and environment, among other things. so well done ppl! haha. i really just cant wait for this week to end. then its graduation on saturday. after that ill be so busy for raya. omg. i bought this new pair of gladiator sandals from Zara. they're GORGEOUS! haha. for hari raya.

sigh. todays the last day of the holidays. im so tempted to pon half this week of school. STRESS. o's in 43 days!!! argh. and i havent even started studying. so sian. well ther isnt much left to say. oh yeah, in case i dun blog in a while, selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin, minal aidin wal fa'izin kepada semua pengunjung-pengunjung blog saya dan saya mengucapkan ribuan terima kasih atas segala sokongan kamu selama-lama ini! Salam aidilfitri!

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Chinese Gardens...

SO school resumed yesterday. what an utterly boring day. like today was much of a difference. except for the fact that CNA filmed us during PE and Bio. it was so cool. i love being the media. nah, joking. haha. honestly. we were suppose to fin pe early, but because my frens and i werent with the class, we came in late, and the class was already changed, and deputy principal was alr ther. i was like SHIT. haha. i rushed to the toilet and changed. and rushed back. tried to wipe the perspiration off as effectively as i could. haha. i tried to act naturally. and look scholarly. HAHA. what a joke. anyway, it airs tmr on CNA. looking forward to that. anyway, after school today. we decided to go to chinese gardens after hanging around in school. it was a spontaneous thing. it was alr quite late. but somehow we made it there. the journey alone was like, an eternity. i am never again gg so far on public transport to such an ulu place with my heavy schoolbag. haha. once we got there, and on the way there, we made a fool of ourselves as usual. we ttly let loose at chinese gardens though. chasing each other on top of a 7-storey pagoda (the risk of falling off the balcony was extremely high), screaming at the top of our voices at said pagoda, and many other, um, lawless things. HAHA. basically, we just let loose like lunatics. expurgate the stress from the previous weeks. aaaaaand of cos, pics!

its the zodiac garden...our zodiac - rooster


on top of the pagoda


same...


same...with better lighting


the picturesque view


again...


yet again...


goodness...


Eclairs...

ON a more recent note, our class' teacher's day party was held on monday, and i had volunteered (sabo-ed isaac) to bake dessert. i was, naturally, unduly stressed to produce a sterling dessert. sigh. so i decided to go with the french safety eclairs. so went hunting for ingredients and teachers day gifts on friday when prelims ended. spent the weekend cracking my head making sure everything was perfect. and here is the outcome. it still wasnt frozen yet, which is why the choc looks molten. >.<

salivate...

Orchard Central...

So after school on one of those days, we went to orchard central, and snuck our way up to the roof. it was strictly no entry except for authorised personnel. which we clearly weren't. haha. it was so much fun. the view from the rooftop garden is fabulous. i just had to post it. here.









Events...

OK so there have been a few events which i have neglected to expound on, thanks mainly to my prelims. so its a completely valid excuse. first up on the list: me being sick like a dog. it was ages ago. cant remember when. heres the pic with me in solitary confinement. it was before i shaved. look at my beautiful locks.


Ok, up next is the Ceramah Arif Budiman (a malay language and cultural seminar). informative and illuminating. and the speaker made it sufferable. thankfully. i was worried how i was gg to understand a few hours' worth of malay. pics.





Following that, is the Leonardo da Vinci exhibition at the science centre, which was a highly edifying and captivating exhibition. honestly. i loved it. pure testament to the renaissance man's ingenuity.









K, thats abt it for now for events.

Friday, August 28, 2009

End of Prelims...

WELL thats that. its finally over. the horror. it wasnt that bad, actually. except the amaths paper 2. and i might hv gotten a few more phy qns wrong today. i hope i can get at least 30/40 for todays paper. whatever. anyway, stayed back aft that to settle the teacher's day party next monday. then left to go vivo. went to watch the proposal. highly recommended. must watch. really. then went shopping for teacher's day gifts. then shopped for my stuff, since im baking for the party. im screwed. haha. expectations...anyway. yeah thats abt it. then came home. then went out for buka puasa and to celebrate papa's bday. went to orchard to get some stuff. got back at 9.30. im so tired. thats abt it.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

End of Prelims...almost...

HOLD on...must hold on. today was the penultimate day of the prelims. sigh. i must say the papers have been terrifyingly easy. with the exception of today's amaths paper 2. which was a complete FIASCO. honestly. ill be lucky if i pass that paper. on the other hand, bio completely made up for it. so far, im confident ive only lost 1 mark for the MCQ. sigh. tmr is physics MCQ.i rly cant be bothered to study. im in a holiday mood liao. honestly. aft tmr's paper, if theyre staying back for teacher's day planning, then ill stay till i have to. but after that, its chaos and havoc and bedlam and every other synonym. and i dun have to worry abt results for quite a while. so yeah. now to focus on o levels. great. anyway, gonna go enjoy my holiday mood now.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Prelims...

SO i just went through my SS paper without my S4 textbook, and yes, i did a S4 topic for my essay. im so pro, its amazing. we shall see what dismal mark i receive. muahaha. had english 1 and 2 on monday. quite a disaster. sadly. think i wrote totally out-of-point for my essay. and i didnt do my situational too well. sigh. paper 2 was ok, i hope. i shdnt hv to worry abt english at all, yet it was not a good start to the prelims. yesterday was SS (yay) and emaths 1. the ss SBQ was surprisingly easy. the essays were challenging. emaths was very, very doable. the only mistakes ill be making are careless ones. today was chem first. for once, the paper went extremely well. then again, chem papers always go well. but anyway. everyone said it was easy too. hmm. that'll raise the standards. i rly hv to make sure i own if i can. then had geog elective. it wasnt that bad. but it was very indirect. meaning application.not much regurgitation. hmph. i completely crapped up a full LORMS qn on agribusinesses. a-may-zeeng. HYVs wasnt very well done though, for 6 marks. although i checked i got all the points. wrote 7 pages in all. not that good. nvm. u knw the first qn in the chem essay qn was about fullerene (Buckyballs). incidentally, i was just researching about Buckyballs 1 or 2 days ago. imagine my delight. mrs tan is so predictable. haha. anyway, tmr is HML. i am highly motivated to get an A1 or at least, A2. though i hv no idea how thats gonna happen. but i shall try my utmost best nonetheless. i want a distinction for a higher language. and i need to practise amaths. i havent studied lit! screwed. puasa starts this saturday. i still hv very xiong papers next week. i shall try and update as i crawl along. dun expect much. i shdnt even be blogging. sigh. ok. thats all for now.


OH YEAH. I FORGOT. linus asked me to take (yet) another quiz on facebook: which twilight character are u? guess who? Edward. what a blooming joke. haha. go figure...

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

SS textbook...

I think i lost my S4 SS textbook. i m so screwed. i rly cant find it.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Romantic...

YOU know, ive found something thats constant through any personality test i take; that im a hopeless romantic, who'll do anything and everything for the sake of love. and its true, i guess. if only it were useful. hmph.

To love because i think its my other half, that completes me, that makes up for what i lack? maybe. theres a lot i lack. go figure.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Hair For Hope (HfH)...

OK so today was the day we've all been looking forward to. HAIR FOR HOPE! yes, its a charity event where members of the public shave their heads to be in solidarity with children suffering from cancer et al. so here are my mugshots. the horror. i actually shaved off my gorgeous bangs. its so airy and cool, its rather odd. thank god i dun look too weird. lol.

Registration


In happier times... LOL


BEFORE


AFTER

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Personality Quiz...

LINUS asked me to take this personality quiz to compare. i love it when they're so accurate. haha. some points are laughable. guess which. XD

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Monday, July 20, 2009

My Dream...

THIS is my dream, from now till the end.

Taurus + Scorpio for eternity...bound by Cupid's blessings...and bear the fruit of its labour

So help me, God.






Sunday, July 12, 2009

What do you know...

You hear their whispers, their voices
I know what they say, but you think you know better
You were afraid, of what might have happened
If it were true

So you did the only thing you thought was right
And shut yourself off, from me, from all i ever wanted
Your heart turned cold at my sight, believing the whispered voices
You left me to face this endless night, alone, crying myself to bed

So tell me now
How did you ever feel?
Or was it a lie?
What do you know?

That's it...

THAT'S it. its over. 4 years are over. im officially not a NCC cadet anymore. it is sad, but yeah. i was so emo yesterday, both before and after and during AP. sigh. but anyway, i enjoyed it, the last time. and here are some pics. nt many.

friends (notice my slippers LOL)


shot with Land and Air NCOs


more shots


yet another...


Air Leaders


another Air Leaders shot

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Anniversary Parade 2009...

THIS is it. today's the day. today is the 157th AP. which means that i'll be officially stepping down from NCC today. i have to say, im surprised. all i feel is sadness. despite me hating NCC last time, i can't bear to leave it now. honestly. u may be thinking, "yeah right. (and i know why he suddenly likes NCC - cubone)" . but i dun think so. i honestly have grown to love it as my CCA, and i am, and always will be, proud to be a cadet of the corps. NCC has been a part (a major part) of my life for the past 4 years in SJI, and has defined me and made me who i am today (in more ways than one, i suppose). and to leave behind a part of me, such a significant part, is painful. although i definitely do not see myself coming back as a CLT in JC, i no doubt will say i love NCC. as such, i want to dedicate this post to the past near-4 years i have had in NCC, and to everything under it. i want to thank everyone in NCC who has been a part of my life, and i want to thank everything that NCC has given me, from a sense of discipline to how to polish boots. today, i can say that i have never regretted joining NCC, and i have never regretted a single day of it, and never regretted every experience it has given me. what it has given me is transcendent of earthly boundaries, and i can't even begin to enumerate, tangibly or otherwise, how much it has given me. such things are impossible to quantify, but they all qualify. my journey from a Recruit to a 1SG will forever be a part of my soul. thanks be to god. for the last time:

Keluar Baris!


AIR GUYS!

Monday, July 06, 2009

Takoyaki (ad)venture...

HEY Happy Youth Day 2009! yeah, thats the first thing i wanna say. so what hv i done this youth day? well, not much. haha. i finished my chem ws today, in like, half an hour. thank god. anyway, the highlight of today was...me trying to cook japanese takoyaki (octopus balls)! how cool is that? and for a virgin effort (is that the phrase? ah whatever), i think its passable. but hey, my sister (the overly fussy eater) actly ate it, so i guess it was ok. i wolfed it all down. lol. anyway, here r some pics of the completed product. salivate...or not. cheers.

Freshly grilled takoyaki


All sauced up...


and...voila!

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Ignored. Again. By both. Same day. Whatever.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Back to hell and beyond...

HEY sorry i havent posted in ages. but ive been busy tearing up orchard road during the whole hols. oh and of cos i went to kl from 16-9 jun. abt a week. first week of june hols as u knw was of cos supp class. think i posted abt that right? i cant rmbr. anw. just wanted to post some pics of kl. just food actly. thers not much in kl apart from shopping and food. there arent many pics. just 2 or 3 i think. cos i went to this award-winning chinese restaurant, and u knw how i love chinese food. so i cant get it here, but there, it was halal, so i cld eat. yay. it was heavenly. i swear. i wld so ttly go back again. haha. anyway, its back to hell tmr. and this term is gonna be even more hectic. i hv ap rehearsals, dance practice, prelims etc. sigh. ok nvm. lets not think abt it yet, before having to. its a bit impossible though. hmm... i guess i am kinda looking forward to going back to school tmr, but still. its gonna be a lot to cope with. not to mention from every aspect; physical, mental, emotional etc. so anyway, heres to another term. god help us all.

Phoenix Eye Dumplings


Char Siew Bao


(I LOVE dim sum ;p)

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Unanswered...

No, the following is not a poem, it's just a a-bit-more artistic expression of my feelings. i have no patience with poems ;)

I whispered, found the courage to send it off
I waited night and day, watched, felt myself turning insane from not having a reply
I tried to deny it
But I had as much success as my plan for this in the first place.

I don't know why i even tried
I was persuaded, and blinded
I was willing, yet again, to hurt myself for something that would never be mine, something i could never own
And I showed myself again, how stupid I was, thinking this could work.

I know better now
I'll put the bottle down, but not the blades
I want them to be with me, my best friends in my darkest times
My love, now i know the reason why, and thank you.

I want you to know, that death waits for no man
Including me
I was never a part of your life, but I wanted to be
Still, impossible dreams indeed, I don't refute.

Death is impatient
It waits to claim my soul
I am suffocated by it
But it is so much better than your love.

Friday, June 05, 2009

It's over...

FINALLY, today was the last day of the supp class for june, and of cos on the very last day, they decide to end things with a bang by having the O Level Literature Revision Seminar. my god, that was a complete waste of time. i mean seriously, who actually learnt something? everyone was tired, restless, listless, and raring to get the hell out of school. of cos, i was no different. except that i was very worried coz my group was only told we would be presenting yesterday, cos its like, 1-2 groups per class. and our group was the only one from our class. so we were effectively screwed. fortunately, we managed to pull through, and as we were the last presentation, i think we definitely ended things with a, uh, bang. those who were there, i think u get what i mean. ;)

So yeah, so ends the first week of the holidays. great. ive still got malay and an amaths paper 2 to finish up. im hoping to be able to finish it by this weekend, although my schedule is a bit jammed. sigh. its only a few months to go before the days of reckoning. o levels i mean. im starting to feel just a bit jittery. ah well, not much i can do about that. oh yeah, except to revise as best as i can these holidays. so many things to do, so little time. haiz. supp class has been a complete bitch btw. i swear. completely harrying. i rly hate supp class. haha. who doesnt.

Anyway, to celebrate the end of supp class (and of course, that blasted seminar), we went to macs at KAP and we were like, singing in the bus, disturbing the peace, and screaming in macs. haha. it was so much fun. then we went to terrorise cold storage. aft that, brian and me went to orchard to walk around (window shopping, mind you) and we saw so many ppl toting bags upon bags. yes, GSS has arrived and GSS fever has begun. mine began last week, so ive been to exercise some self-restraint and not buy everything at one go. haha. we'll see. so yeah, then thats abt it. i swear im so tired. lugging ur sch bag filled with books is not the best thing to do when ur walking ard. a lot. lol. anyway, thats abt it for now. well , yeahs..ciao.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Blood Donation (Bloody Tuesday)...

OMG i had SO much fun donating blood in school today. it's like, my very first time ever donating blood. and i've been so excited abt it for so long. haha.

I WANNA SAY THANK YOU TO MY GREAT FRIENDS WHO STAYED BACK WITH ME! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok it did suck a bit (no pun intended) cos the nurses deemed me to be looking too tired to proceed when i was like 3/4 of the way through the blood bag (450mL) and i was so pissed. i just wanted to finish it off. haha. but anyway, i suppose im quite satisfied with it. even though it was SO paiseh. in front of everyone, i was like the only one in my class who had to be stopped. haiz. i swear, today dragged on like nobody's business; thanks to the markers' reviews for our mid year papers. so sianz. stupid linda soh. come up to the front, pms and bitch and spray her menses all over the whole PAC. how annoying. i nearly got into trouble just now with my head of level. for having such a smart mouth. i was like, answering back every teacher for the amusement of those around me, and i didnt realise my head of level was quite near behind me. thankfully he was busy looking out for other miscreants to notice me. haha. stupid biatch.

"which one of you claims to be smart?", barked the bitch.
"i do!", retorted the misinterpreted genius (moi)

HAHA. seriously. that was the best. anyway, i have some pics of bloody tuesday. excuse the stupid expressions; i had to take my mind off it somehow. i mean, inexorably there was some fear, however little, that had to be assuaged. thankfully, i have no fear of needles. haha.

seeing a 0.2cm needle poking into my arm was quite fascinating actually. LOL.


after the donation, obviously


being treated after being deemed too tired (LOL)


looking (exaggeratedly) exhausted


half a bag (there was more, this was quite early)


my blood samples for testing


a closeup of my arm (note the black blood)


smiling cheerfully


collecting samples


finally, it began


the anaesthetic jab


prep


before the donation


measuring BP


friends make the world go around!!!


getting pricked for blood testing

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dance pix...



HEY. JUS DECIDED TO POST SOME DANCE PICS FM MY PHONE.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Post-exam euphoria?...

SO yes, the exams ended quite a while ago, last friday actually. and i believe i am rather screwed, judging by some of the answers we've gone through. hmm. i haven't got the full results yet, we'll only get them back next monday. so in a way, next monday is kinda like doomsday. its make it or break it. haha. its midyears. ah well. anyway, this whole week has been passing very slowly, sluggishly i might say. in fact, sluggishly is a gross understatement. seriously. its just because of the extra MT periods the sch has cos the express MT students aretaking their june paper, on 1st june, which is like, in a fortnight. so the sch is going intensive MT. and we have to endure that too. 4/7 periods in a day are devoted purely to mother tongue. 200 minutes of acute boredom and ennui. god help us all.

Anyway, this whole week, except friday, i've, like, got dance practice after school, until 5.30. oh god. we have a performance this saturday at SJIJ (st mike's rather), and i am so excited about going back to my alma mater! haha. will prob catch up with the teachers ther if i can. haha. hope ther are teachers i know ther. they've had so many new teachers its amazing. so yeah. oh we're performing a slight variation of our SYF dance, is all. which reminds me, i'll try put some of our vids up on youtube, my channel. not the actual SYF one though, they banned video recording, and they also stopped the video service. but hopefully we can pull some strings and get the vid. so yeah. i finished at 5 today. thankfully. cos got 2 absentees, so cldnt do much formation. but still. my knee is shattering again, thank heavens i bought the knee brace. i am really gonna need it. haha. and i am SO tired right now, u would not believe it. i can barely keep my eyes open.

But really, i can't wait for this week to end. get the performance over with. and then monday is doomsday. and we have to do our lit project by monday as well. how sian is that? i am looking forward to tuesday though. my first blood donation drive!!! haha, im so excited. ill post pix dun worry. haha. esp the gross ones. like the .3cm needle sticking out of my arm, drawing blood into a plastic bag. haha. hilarious. just hope i wont get too dizzy or whatever. that wld be uber embarrassing. uber is like, my new fave word. i dunno y. its quite old, i know. haha. random. so yeah. thats about it. for now. oh yeah. i forgot:

I CANNOT BELIEVE I DID NOT POST ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Yeah, my bday was like 11 days ago. and i LOVE my frens for their gift. it touched me so much. literally, and figuratively, and audiotechnically. HAHA. is that even the right word? anyway THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day...

FIRST and foremost, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all mothers out there!! haha. at least to those who celebrate it in this region. remember, its not just today we should remember our mothers; everyday should be mother's day! heres a little something i baked for my mum. one of her faves. it tastes nicer than it looks. trust me on this. i havent cut it up yet. i bet it would hv looked nicer. XD

Brownies!

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Rafflesia...

AFTER attempting to play badminton today, ive realised one thing. i need to WAKE UP and smell the rafflesias which are blooming in front of me, and stop deluding myself that they are beautiful, sweet-smelling roses. seriously. it'd be so much easier.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Pandemic?...

SO the latest news is that WHO has raised their pandemic alert to Level 5 (of 6), which means that a pandemic is imminent. right. i think we're also at orange alert already. which means that should a confirmed case in spore, schools will most prob close. if schools closed during SARS, and this is worse than SARS, then we can almost be assured that schools will close, sooner or later. its simple logic. dont refute me. haha. well, i really dunno wat the worlds coming to...everything seems to be happening in my generation: economic downturn, H1N1 ('swine' influenza) etc. what a trying time in history. and im sitting o levels this year. right.

Anywaym today was Chemistry SPA skill 3, which basically means u sit for an hour planning a viable experiment to investigate a chemical problem. i think i did quite ok. i got my molar calculation a bit screwed up, but if im lucky, cambridge'll take it as a hypothetical calculation, just to further justify my investigation. but i swear, never again will i forget that calcium has a relative atomic mass of 40. oh yeah, btw my JIEP trip to Shanghai in june has been cancelled, due to the current medical crisis. so which means that i can go for my NCC part A camp! yay! i love having camps in school. haha. esp NCC camps. may be one of my last. sigh. i cant believe 4 years has passed by so fast. i hate it. i wish we had longer. i barely had any time to enjoy with my friends. sigh. what to do?

Oh ya, today was my 2.4 for NAPFA. it was atrocious. so annoying. 12:40. how lousy is that? maybe i should retake next week... but seriously, it sucked so much. i think i'll go try train this week. oh yay, tmr is labour day. haha. thank god. i am in DESPERATE need of the respite. this week has been taxing. very. in fact, taxing is a gross understatement. emotionally, mentally, physically drained, exhausted, depleted. note the order of my welfare, and the synonyms. haha. its called diction. oh please, gimme a break.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I Do Not Hook Up...

Kelly Clarkson is the greatest artiste alive. I rest my case.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Mid-years...

I cannot believe it. MYEs are 10 days away. im so screwed. this term has just whizzed by. we're already halfway through the term. and i havent really felt anything going into my head. i mean seriously. all we've been focussing on is the stupid SPA skill 3. it just pisses me off. so much. i dun feel prepared for myes at all. well ive finished 1 round of mugging, next week is gonna be intensive revision in TYS and all that. sigh. im so jaded. god i love that word. argh. i hate midyears. i hate exams. i just want knowledge, for goodness's sake! who cares about exams? sigh.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Débâcle...

TODAY was the quarter finals. we're out. we lost. we made history. there's nothing else that can be said.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Newspapers...

OH yeah, i forgot to mention. i was in the berita harian. my first newspaper article! yay! haha. heres a part of it. its for the BH-Obor Debate Championships (Pertandingan Bahas) 2009.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

SYF...

WELL, its been a week since I've posted. and yes the syf happened yesterday. personally, and as a dance troupe, we all felt great abt it. the performance i mean. when we previewed it to the school, it was such a warm reception. alas, when we received the results today, it was Silver. well, i suppose, for a first time, we can take it as a learning step. what matters is, we did our best, we had a hell of a time, and we kicked ass. totally. i mean, most of us are really sad that thers no more dance training. we rly enjoyed the time we had together dancing. and i dun think any of us regret going for it. so yeah, thanks everyone. too all the dancers, teachers, choreographers, supporters, thanks so much for all ur efforts. we really appreciate it. and hopefully we can do better next time!

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Term 2...

SO the horror has begun. sigh. i was right. it is gonna be a taxing term. mid years are in week 7, with mother tongue in week 5. timetable was given out today. haiz. the BH pidato qualifiers are next saturday. SYF is next tuesday (SHRIEK). sigh. im just taking it one step at a time. i mean, thats like the best way.

Anyway, i kinda regret going for the pidato at TPJC today. i mean, i missed chem and maths. chem we went thru the tests we just had. and maths she started on differentiation of trigonometric functions which, sadly, is highly complex. as a result, i am utterly deceased. die lor. stupid trigo. i hate amaths trigo. i think ive expressed that particular sentiment in previous posts on this blog before. haha. im just saying. and i also missed PSE, cause today was friday's timetable. i mean, its not that i didnt want to go for the pidato, but i missed out a LOT today. apparently there was some talk in the PAC, and i dun even know for wat. sigh. i rly gave up a lot for that pidato. and i dun think it was quite worth it. i dunno. im confused.

Seriously, im just so confused at this stage of my life. those of you who know why, yeah, thats why. i mean, its something so new and ive never had something like this happening before. its so annoying, when i dun hv all the answers. i really, really hate being in the dark, and having to second-guess so many things. to be unsure of so many things. ive never been this unsure in my life. as to where to go from now, and what am i supposed to do. i seem to be praying for guidance which never seems to come. so help me, god.

I cant wait for Friday. its gonna be another slack day. its founder's day. what a bore. anyway, were expected to finish by 1130. so yeah. then im headed home. thers training tmr, but i think it'll be ok. hopefully. i dunno. im never sure of anything these days...

"many nights we pray, with no proof anyone could hear..."

Sunday, March 22, 2009

School Redux...

YES the holidays are at an end. we all go back to school tomorrow, officially. well, i must say that the holidays were a welcome break, despite the fact that i still had to go back to school quite a few days. but then again, im not complaining. i mean, most other ppl had to as well, and at least i didnt hv any camps during the hols (poor SJAB, NPCC, SJIMB) since we already had our NCC company camp a fortnight ago. thankfully. so it was ok for me. it was just SYF dance practice on saturday, monday, wednesday, friday, yesterday and tonight. tuesday was a free day, which i used to finish some work. thursday we had our class bbq. and tonight i hv SYF rehearsal at NUS-UCC.

Ok. syf dance this whole week left me in varying states of pain. but it was also really fun. and anyway SYF is in 3 weeks, i think. so yeah, must get all the practice we can get. jiayou! i think we've gotten quite good despite only training for 5 months, going on 6.

Thursday. Class bbq. it was so much fun. i mean, although i didnt swim or play games, it was still a cool night. and at least i managed to enjoy myself. it was kinda like a potluck, unofficially, so everyone brought something. guess what i brought? my cupcakes! although i made like a double batch and tried to ice it. with a piping bag. yet the icing looked horrendous. i was so angry with the icing lol. but in the end it was all for the better. i mean, the class finished it. haha. i was so happy. i was so scared id hv to bring home cupcakes. at least i only had to bring home the trays. haha. i still looked like a twat carrying those trays on the bus though. but then again, i always look like a twat. so no diff haha.

Then on friday, after SYF, i went with saiful and sufi go makan, after friday prayers, went to LJS at DHOBY ghaut (haha). not the PS one, but the one further down than macdonald house, en route to cathay itself. yeah. then i went home. and i finished all my homework! i was so happy i finished the ss. it was what i'd been dreading the whole hols. but it turned out to be quite ok. at least i now know more about the Rwandan Genocide. so yeah. i had no piano today, so managed to wake up late, esp after staying up till 3 yest. haha. opportunistic. im still sleepy if u will believe it. despite the 8 solid hours of sleep. and then i hv SYF rehearsal tonight. its like, the one and only rehearsal at the venue before the actual SYF. haiz. i hv to be in sch by 1930. our slot is at 2100-2200. so short. >.< im so scared that ill black out at the UCC stage later. they all say its so huge u get intimidated. but we'll see later. ;) so yeah. thats abt it for my hols. i dun hv any pics of anything though, sorry :D go facebook them. anyway. random.

This term is gonna be a descent into the deeper pits of hell. everything is happening this term. SYF, AP, BH debates. and on top of all that, i hv to manage my studies well and my ccas. esp mid years! i dunno how were going to pass MYE. i mean, even last year's work will be tested. and seeing as how most of us have practically forgotten everything we learnt last year, its gonna be a real problem. haha. haiz. stress. (its not boding well for my visage either. stupid stress-zits) well, ok then ciao for now.

Monday, March 16, 2009

BREATHE NO MORE - EVANESCENCE

I've been looking in the mirror for so long.

That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together.
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me,
Convince me that I've been sick forever.
And all of this,
Will make sense when I get better.
But I know the difference,
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder,
Which of us do you love.
So I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no...
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe
I breathe no more.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Full Results...

SO here are the atrocious results of my first term in Sec.4, incidentally my last ever Common Test in SJI, cos after this its Mid years, then Prelims, then O's. so sad. no more common tests. term 3 cannot slack anymore. haha. anyway. lets publish the news.

(click to enlarge)

Monday, March 09, 2009

Cupcakes...

SO heres the deal; yesterday, at abt 8pm, i had a whim to bake cupcakes. dun ask me why. its just one of those things. so anyway, i frantically rush to go buy all the ingredients. im back by 9. i immediately start cooking. i finished by 10. thankfully. so anyway, here're the results of my virgin foray into baking cupcakes. yes, i have baked, but never cupcakes before. dun mind the pink icing; my sister wanted it, and anyway, i thought, what the hell, it was international women's day yesterday, so i decided to give it to my mum. anyway, heres the pics. i know the icing looks atrocious, but its not my fault; ive never iced before. apart from that though, it was quite nice for a first try, if i may say so myself. :D

un-iced cupcakes, fresh from the oven...


voila! the final product. complete with pink icing...

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

CT1 Results...

OK so i've gotten back 5 out of 9 subjects. not very good. no, im not being insensitive, its just that i hv other expectations of myself. heres the breakdown (as of3/3/09):

Elementary Mathematics: 74% (A2) [quite a lot of ppl, not in my class though, got full marks]
Additional Mathematics: 80% (A1) [ i consider this an ok mark, i would have liked at least 85%]
Physics: 78% (A1) [ terrible. not even 80. my fren got 93%]
Chemistry: 83% (A1) [i like this mark, but i know i could hv done better; stupid molar calculation]
Biology: 86% (A1) [ highest in class, tying with Andrew. quite surprised with this mark, since
i've been getting 68% for bio for the past 3 terms]

So there you go. i'm only waiting for the rest of the subjects for judgment to pass. sigh.

Friday, February 27, 2009

It's Over...

IT'S finally over. the common tests for this term are over. now i just have to survive mid years, prelims and o levels. what a lovely prospect. well, anyway, lit paper was ok, i think i managed to scrape another borderline pass. twats. whatever it is, training was a bitch, as usual. and i mean that in a bad way. i swear, im just glad this very taxing and tiring week is over. not that im looking forward to next week, what with company camp, and the prospect of me speaking in front of parents inexorably looming ahead. sigh. i want to get back my results next monday tho. as much as possible. and yes, i PASSED SS. finally. after failing it the last 3 consecutive terms, depending on my geog to compensate, and getting a mediocre mark for combined humanities, hopefully, ill just be able to do a bit better this term. whatever it is, i know emaths and amaths are screwed up. phy, chem, and bio was easy. so, yeah.

Anyway, i've been watching ayat-ayat cinta this whole week for malay lessons, and we finally finished it today. yes, i was in tears by the end of it. yeah yeah, go boil ur brains. i cry. sue me. can u blame me? it was such a sad ending that i could not help but cry. how cliched that sounds. dear god. no but seriously, i would recommend ppl who believe in true love and all that to go and watch it. its really quite touching. it doesnt only cover love from that perspective, but other things, like love of religion, love of self etc. u get the picture. so yeah. im like, hooked on it now. i changed my wallpaper. im even listening to the songs. can u beat that? im listening and singing along to a malay song! ok well actually its an indonesian film and the soundtrack's indonesian too. yes, which means the songs are in Bahasa Indonesia. but not much difference anyway. so yeah, im really tired. night.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Common Tests...

WELL i know i should be revising for tomorrow (i have, actually), considering its ss and geog tmr. ah well, i'll make sure i study later. my goal this term is to pass SS. must pass. cannot be failing anything this year. anyway, amaths paper today wasn't that bad. i dun think ill be able to get that high, thanks to some careless mistakes and some completely-didn't-know-how-to-do qns. hopefully, i can get by on method marks :D. thank god for method marks. well, we'll see how i do next week. i am so not looking forward to tomorrow. ss and geog together means that my hand will drop off and my pens will explode. then of cos, my brain will just vapourise, and thers still the qn of getting through the rest of lessons tmr after CT. of cos it doesnt help that u watch Ayat-Ayat Cinta just before amaths. ok nvm.i dun wana talk abt amaths anymore. must focus on combined humans now. so anyway, just wanted to blog and update, cos i know its been abt, an ice age, since i last blogged. hopefully, ill be able to post again once the world gets a bit thawed out. or at least, my brain. ok. bad joke.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's...

IF valentine's = love, and
love = life, and
life = lie
therefore valentine's = love = life = lie!

thus, x = no solution!

Equation solved. Pure Genius.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Sports Heats...

ONE word: FIASCO.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

KC!...

Composing...

OK so i chionged to finish all my homework today, which meant doing geog, lit and maths all at one go. so sian. i cldnt even be bothered to do the ss. ill do it tmr. its such a headbanger anyway. balanced conclusion. right. we'll see who's unbalanced after that. sigh. anyway, decided to try something new today. well, not exactly new, but something i haven't done too many times. decided to try and compose again. its coming along very, very slowly. usually, its just songwriting, but never composing. tried last time, i gave up. just couldn't get it out. sigh. anyway, i, gonna try and work on it, and see what turns out. aiyah, back to school tomorrow. and wednesday is the most xiong day. triple science, double maths and lit. then thursday got pe, and english presentation. ARGH. thank god friday is a holiday...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tired...

OH god, today was such a taxing day. i swear. lit, triple science, pe, eng and maths. dear god. physically AND intellectually draining. then after school, had dance training. and since were doing for CNY concert, got held back till 1730, doing intensive choreography. i think got blister on my toe lor. or something like that. it just hurts lol. then tmr got english mentorship/twinning AND more dance practice. then i hv to miss like 2 hrs of dance training, AND catch up on my own. how bad is that? then, friday got performance itself. so sad, i cant relax and enjoy my last CNY concert. must perform. then after concert, stupid nevina want to hold extra SS lesson for an hour. betol tau, hanya kerana die tak mahu menikmati percutian dier, tidak bermakna kite tak nak menikmati percutian kite. tak, nak kene dengar die, berjela-jela, sampai aku tertidor kat situ jugak. dahlah buat topik pantat habis; die nak buat Balanced Conclusion Question skills. nauzubillah. aku sumpah, nazak habis. dahlah lesson die boring, subjek tu boring, die boring, skill tu pon boring. dah, jangan nak cakap lagi. sepuluh minit, satu kelas hancur. aku sumpah, lesson die boring habis. i never know how i survive. ok anyway, no idea when my next post will be, if i survive this week...

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

CORPORAL MORTIFICATION

Monday, January 12, 2009

RESULTS!!!...

WELL, so i finally got back my results for o level today. as expected, i was hyperventilating and shivering while waiting for it. i wonder, how am i gonna feel during results next year, when i have *9* subjects coming back. haha. anyway, good news: i got A2 for it and Distinction for Oral/Aural which is quite surprising. imagine me getting distinction for SPEAKING malay. LOL. bad news: i got an A2. yes, i wish i cld have gotten an A1. it'd have been nice to get ant A1 for my first o level grade. sigh. never mind. then, of course, my formal introduction to the school as President MCS was embarrassing, to say the least. i hate being dragged in front of everyone and being paraded. then of course, have to solemnly swear the student leaders' pledge. dear god, i felt like a witness at court. seriously lor. anyway, decided to post my Results Slip!

(click to enlarge)

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Dunno...

WELL, i was right. training on friday was a bit sian. not that bad, considering its the first training of the year. i mean, we started at 3, then listened to mok talk a while, slacked, then escaped to comlab to do newsletter, then changed for PT. sure, i had to run 1.6 for PT and some static exercises, but it was manageable. then after that, had debrief for Specs. dear god, halfway through the meeting he tells me i dun need to be there since i have other things on that day. git. wasted my time. then rushed off to NYP with zh and ash cos they wanted to go. i was so tired already. i was falling asleep at the open house. and there was a live band playing.thats saying something. anyway, only finished at 9.30. then made my way home. managed to get home by 10.05. then of course, switched on the comp and was glued there.

Saturday wasn't much. i went with michael to TP's open house. it was boring, to be honest. engineering and design. not high on my list. not ON my list, actually. then, walked ard Tampines Mall, then i went back. today was boring too. just watched sepet. rly nice story. gonna cook the dinner now. chicken pie. cant think of what else to cook.

Tomorrow is gonna be a slack but humiliating day. during inaugural service, i have to go up on stage to be formally introduced as President MCS. i feel like some stupid debutante. why not just have a ball? jeez. then, ill prob be humiliated during o level results release. i cant believe it. ill be o level qualified tmr. haha. well, its just for one subject though. gr. i wish i could have sat my english o levels last year. and lit. anyway. gotta go cook now. if not ill be having a late dinner. i wish myself luck for tomorrow.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

O-Level Results...

WELL, its been a while. but this week has just been really hectic. and not to mention head-banging. on tuesday, i had SYF training until 4.30. then on wednesday had triple science, double maths and lit. dear god, i swear i had a headache by chem, and was asleep by the second maths period. it was amazing how long the day stretched on. then today was just as bad. even though it was slack , with rme, pe was an absolute killer. thankfully malay was slack. i gave up after maths la. then last period physics just pretended to listen. thank god i did all the work beforehand. then after that, i rushed to finish my maths homework so i wldnt hv to lug my HEAVY amaths textbook home, then i rushed home. i swear, the days are just so much longer than last year. i dunno why, but im really tired everyday. and i have training tmr; i really dunno how im gonna survive that. i just need to get over tmr. then next monday is the release of the o-level results. DAY OF RECKONING. ill know my results by about 12.30, i think. i am SO gonna die. im so scared to find out how i did. yet i wanna how what all my efforts came up to. well, wish me luck. i dunno if ill be posting tmr. ill prob be too tired. so until the weekend. i think.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Love this song...

I ABSOLUTELY this song. its so frank, and so powerful.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

New Year Resolutions...

NO this is not my NYR, because i have never believed in having any. it has always amused me how ppl actually set NYRs, wanting to fulfill them at the start of the year, and somehow it just dies off by midyear. of course, there are those select few who actually follow through and manage to accomplish whatever they set out to do at the start of the year, but as i said. a select few. the majority just dies off. i suppose its another facet of human nature. set goals. be ambitious. and then, im busy the whole year working, being with my family. yeah who hasnt heard those excuses? and im not saying theyre not true, im SURE theyre true to a certain extent, but still. i dunno, ive never been one to set goals, cos i know that if i dun fulfill them, my mind will be screwed up by the "fact" that i failed. and all the psychological baggage that comes along with it. which is why, for me, i just work as hard as i can, and whatever i get, i TRY to be satisfied with it. though those who know me will definitely know that is hardly ever true. so i guess thats one bad point about not having a goal. you're less prepared for the fall. but i think ill take that anytime. twice the pride, double the fall. so halve the damn pride. jeez. its only simple maths.

Friday, January 02, 2009

"Helheim, Avalon, I don't care what it's called. Where is it?"

- Lara Croft, Tomb Raider: Underworld

Hey, this is my 100th post!!! Celebrate!!!

First day...

OK i am so gonna start bitching, big-time. what a stupid, draining first day of school! i mean, the first 2 periods were class admin, but after that, lessons started. we started redox reactions in chem (thank god ive read the whole chapter), then nevina started on SS, giving notes and everything, then going into development for geog. then luckily malay was a slack period. then recess, then physics started on magnetism (thankfully only the basics), and i was in time for english to know that i had a journal for homework. lovely. 3 lessons i learnt in 2008/ things i learnt abt myself. self-reflection. what a biatch. oh yeah, and nevina gave homework. read chapter 6 and fill in the worksheet. due week 2. journal due monday. WTH.

Okay, then after all the academic crap, after going for friday prayers, had to drag myself back to school for NCC EXCO meeting and photoshoot. bloody hell, stuck in the freaking hot uniform, burning in the sun, squatting down until my leg hurt, just to wait to be positioned and then smiling my totally artificial, vapid smile for the camera. then limping back to meeting venue. then enduring 3 hours of mindless talking and pretending to look occupied. then actually having to talk. though, thankfully i was only called on to opine once. other than that, it was just sheer boredom, listening to everyone else spewing their impromptu "preparations" regarding 2009 workplan. i swear, i lost more than a million brain cells in that 3 hours alone.

Bloody hell, who could ever have a more taxing day??? that is probably the worst first day ive ever had. and my schedule just keeps getting more and more packed from next week onwards. sigh. back to the grindstone. well, anyway, happy weekends.

bitching completed

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy New Year...

HAPPY new year to everyone out there. this is my first post of this year. whoopee-doo. lovely. its back to school tomorrow, and i have cca after school. stupid EXCO meeting, and then i have to bring my whole uniform for photo-taking. who in their blessed right mind has cca on the first day of school? even the other UGs arent having training. its just mine. just my luck. i wonder if even the sports/games are having training. i wld actually look forward to school tmr, except for the fact that there's cca. i swear to god.

Anyway, tomorrow i am officially Sec.4. trust me, it is scary. especially when i can still remember my primary 3 days. in detail. its amazing how much time has passed, really, and all the changes time has brought. to be completely honest, its disconcerting, to say the least. and this year is also my o-level. as in, all my subjects, and not just S4ML. and THAT is scary. sigh. its like PSLE all over again. something i will never forget. then once results release, its choosing which school you're going to go to. again. oh yeah, tomorrow will the final time i'm starting a year in SJI. in one year's time, god only knows where i'll be starting school in.

I actually feel sad about it, i've really grown to like SJI and i've grown up with it so much, and its given to me so much as a person. i really can't bear to leave it all behind, and if i had a choice, i would definitely choose SJI again.i havent regretted joining SJI for a single moment (even if there are irksome things like CCA), ever since i stepped into the school. its hard to believe, but im actually so attached to my school, and i love my school. i spent the best years of my life here in SJI, i think, no, im sure. and im really, really, loath to let go of it all. thats the thing about me; i hate moving on [;)] and i hate change. sure, that'll probably make life a hell of a lot more difficult for me, but i dun really care.

I am going to start well tomorrow, because its the last time i get to start. and i know, i will never regret my choice, never regret the path that i have taken. "Never doubt what you have done" Damn right that is, and damn right i am never doubting what i do. S4, here i come.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Fish Head Curry...

OK, so i decided to cook fish head curry. ok , not exactly red snapper heads, but ikan kembong, i think. (ikan kembong is mackerel) :D anyway, decided to post pic of it! thank goodness it tastes reasonably edible; i dun usually cook curry. i decided to try my hand.

Fish Head Curry...

Monday, December 29, 2008

"I need Thor's belt to get his hammer, and i need the hammer, to kill a god!"

sorry, been playing too much Tomb Raider...

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Humanity...

OK, i dunno if i have actually rambled on about this previously, but i feel the need to reinforce it again. honestly, ive never liked being a human being. sure, it comes with the supposed benefits of higher intellect, reasoning, logic and the capacity to reason and etc. but still. i really wouldnt mind giving all that up just to be able to lead a simple life, like an animal's. all u do is hunt, and hibernate. its such a simple existence, without any moral ramifications and choices. its either hunt or be hunted. i like having that kind of clear-cut choice in life. sadly, thats exactly what life is NOT. its NOT clear-cut. its all in shades of grey. i mean, yes, having some things in shades of grey is ok, but having everything in shades of grey? that just makes me feel really blind and vulnerable. i want to know that i have a future, you know? something like that. not some cloudy vision of what may or may not happen.

And being able to think so much? jeez, my head hurts from thinking TOO much? im thinking about this, about that, worrying about this, about that. whether ill get good grades, if ill get into a school of choice, if my friends will still be my friends, if i can handle heavy workloads and so on and on. with an animal, no. nothing like that. just think about how im gonna find my next meal. i dunno about u, but im just really jaded of all this nonsense. i seem to like the word jaded a lot, as if ive actually lived that long. right. thats what those parochial, know-it-all adults will say. oh, you havent lived as long as i have. yeah i DONT want to live that long. its such a boring life. its not as if i could do what i wanted anyway. i mean, is it possible for me to go travelling around the world in search of historical artifacts? dual-wielding USPs? ok, so maybe ive been playing too much lara croft, but hey! if thats really what i wanted, could anyone give that to me? no. no. no.

Yeah, ive got big dreams. so? theyre still dreams. dreams can come true? ive yet to see anyone's dream come true. make sure u tell me when urs does. if im still alive, after the millenia or so of waiting. if im lucky. i mean, its not as if being human is so great. we're the only creatures who actively seek the destruction of our own species. how sick is that? all the genocides and wars in history's books. i may be wrong, but i dun think animals have full-scale species wars or engage in ethnic cleansing. yeah, im a pessimist. glad u noticed. ill tell u wat. im also a nihilist (read: life has no inherent value). its so redundant. life, i mean. i believe the world is already going to hell. (cf. Matchbox Twenty's 'How Far We've Come') as cruel as u find this to be, i derive amusement from the efforts of the world in trying to save their precious earth. its absolutely futile.

so, heres to the world: GOOD LUCK!
p.s. its in green for the world. if ull permit me.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Ages...

YEAH yeah , i know. its been absolutely eons since my last post. people have been telling me. its just that, these past few weeks have been really rollercoaster-ish for me, what with me just coming back from tokyo, then my grandmother getting hospitalised (shes been discharged) for - can u believe it? - dengue, and then the school work and revision ive been trying to cram in before term starts next friday. and no, im way too lazy to post pics of me in tokyo. anyway, its not like thers much. you'll understand that im not really the camwhore-ish type.

Well, good news is that i went for my dental appointment today and dentist said i need only wear my retainers when i sleep. yay. [damn, why cant it just have been off permanently? :( ] at least i can eat without grossing out anyone at the dining table now. or mess with the stupid retainers. bad news? yes there is. you cant expect it all to be good right? the world doesnt work that way. ok. so bad news is that both my wisdom teeth are out; well, my right one more, but still, theyre out. so apparently next year, i need to go for surgery to extract. yay. during o level year. what a lovely thing to do. im gonna get my teeth wrenched out in term 1. then of cos, thers the pain. and i still hv to go to school. i doubt im gonna take much MC if i can avoid it.

Anyway...apart from all that, there isnt really much to say. except that my mood swings have become more pronounced. and of cos, people cant handle that. jeez, its just mood swings. blame my pituitary gland. and the hypothalamus while we're at it. are mood swings that bad? i mean, seriously. i think thats the only wrong ive ever done. sure, i can be a downright bitch when im mood-swinging, but who hasnt? and its not like im PMSing 24-7 unlike some people i know (and try not to know). sigh. i dun even know why i bother explaining. really.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Pulut Bakar!...

I know, its been far too long. sorry, but my life has been incredibly mundane, inane, and just plain boring since the last time. so anyway, i *finally* got the software for my camcorder installed, and as a result, i get to post vids in reasonably good quality. yay! testing. oh god, this vid upload is taking ages. you wont believe the number of steps i need to get it on here. anyway, heres a vid of me making pulut bakar, also known as lemper udang in indonesia and rempah udang in Peranakan cuisine.

video

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

10 days...

I know it's been 10 days since my last post, but there hasn't really been much happening. ok lets think. todays wednesday. i rmbr going karaoke last friday at suntec. once im not too lazy ill upload vids so everyone can laugh at me. anyway, then yesterday, mo and zh came over after we had 3 games of bowling, during which i humiliated myself completely. then went to get lunch then came to my place to play xbox. at least i could hold my own in xbox. haha. go serra! oh god, those are the only things i rmbr. somehow. oh yes, and i just finished reading twilight, gonna get new moon tmr and start reading. its such a beautiful story. i love the perspective. ok anyway. thats abt it for tonight. i know, not much to say huh? hnnh. figures. well. adieu...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Cooking...

I had such fun today and yesterday cooking. yesterday i spent my time in the evening cooking puteri salat, under the eagle-eyed supervision of my grandmother, who is like, the master chef (i nearly typed master chief XD) in the house, so yeah. and for a first time cooking it, it turned out excellent and delectably edible. i mean, the custard was sweet and soft and the glutinous rice was just the right consistency. then today i spent the afternoon making popiah. it was so much fun, but quite leceh. got so many things to do to prepare all the different components, but in the end, it was all worth it. its so nice! anyway, heres some pics, enjoy salivating!

Kueh Puteri Salat


Popiah

Thursday, November 13, 2008

RIHANNA LIVE IN SINGAPORE!!!...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rihanna was absolutely FABULOUS!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
ok . although it was a bit short (1 hour), i still think it was THE concert event of the year. i swear, that was the most fun i've ever had at a concert, including SingFest and Avril's! i mean , i was actually jumping up and down and standing up and dancing and grooving to her songs. and yes, i screamed myself hoarse. haha, YEAH! im just so high from the concert. i didnt get any pix though. cldnt be bothered to bring camera. anyway, need to expound on a certain opinion i had during the concert.

OK, so you know we buy tickets at sistic, and were assigned specific seats and all that. but u know at concerts, they dun rly mind and my block in particular got relocated and it was free seating. but then, u get those inflexible, irascible, unreasonable people who INSIST that they get their seats, the ones they booked themselves, which they "paid for". and im saying this because before the concert started, i was surrounded by that happening: people turning up at their supposedly assigned seat and DEMANDING people already sitting in them to vacate them. and i think that's really just childish and unreasonable. and then they kick up such a big fuss about it, and then start making a scene. then, it happened twice. one, was the seats immediately behind me, and the second, directly beside me. i swear. and in both cases they were non-Singaporeans. not that i have anything against foreigners, but thats just what i noted. similarly for all the other cases i witnessed. not one of them who made a fuss was singaporean. personally, i think just because they're foreigners they think they've got every goddamn right to push their weight around. yeah well, i got a piece of news for u. in case u haven't noticed, this isn't even your country. then, on the other hand, there were those who were really nice; foreigners i mean. like offering to move in to let a couple sit together etc. and so, after that, i started speaking in a deliberately carrying voice, stating my opinion. whether they heard or not, they showed no indication. whatever it is, i really get annoyed by these kind of ppl. its like, seriously, learn how to give and take ppl, its life. my god, i mean all the seats are worth the same price and theyre in the same block. its not as if it wld matter if ur half a metre nearer to rihanna, ur still in the frigging last block. geez, wat losers.

Anyway, enough of my furious diatribe. apart from that ther was nothing else that was attention catching, apart from her entrance which was so grand. i swear ther was this one time she was singing on this rising pedestal, which was only like, less than 1 square metre, just enough for her to plant her legs and mic. when she entered, she descended from the pedestal, holding on to a bar, from like 5 metres above the stage. damn cool. i swear, if it were me, i'd hv died. and she was singing like ther was nothing wrong. whoa. ballsy woman. haha. how crude. anyway, its kinda late now. its 1230am now, so i wanna get a good night's rest for once this week. haha. night!

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Fun...

WELL the past 2 days have been relatively fun. went to the parliament house yesterday, on an excursion. well, i wont say it was boring; finding out about how parliament is run is quite fun, even if singapore politics is boring, and considering the fact that i don't fancy becoming a politician, i suppose it was ok. the highlight, if u believe it, was walking into parliament chambers. i mean, even though we were only allowed into the strangers' gallery, it was still cool.i must say though, parliament chamber design and architecture is a tad too boring. the parliament house however, is rather handsomely decorated. i think the Speaker and Serjeant-at-Arms (yes its spelled that way) are the coolest positions. as speaker, u hv supreme authority over everyone in the chamber. as serjeant-at-arms, u hv authority to forcefully remove or arrest without warrant and throw into jail any miscreants. ah. such power. anyway.

On thursday, went to the marina barrage. not much to see. half the place was still under construction. =.= ill come back when thers actually something to see. whatever it is, i had so much fun today. i mean, just now. was making ondeh ondeh, which if u dun noe wat it is, shame on u. its a kueh. lol. yeah yeah ok, i cook. jeez, go boil ur heads ok. anyway, here are some pics.

my ondeh ondeh :D












Wednesday, November 05, 2008

GCE Ordinary Levels...

WELL at least my first experience at taking an O-level paper wasn't an absolutely mortifying and daunting one. for one, i actually managed not to feel dumb during the paper. if you're wondering what subject it is, it's SEC4 Express Malay, which I just took today, the written paper, i mean. the listening compre and oral was done ages ago. I just hope that some good comes of all this nonsense. but really, it was a lot more doable than my other practice papers, and not to sound arrogant or boastful, but i think i did reasonably OK for the paper. considering also that its a malay paper. lol. i think i managed to crap my way through the expository essay, as well as the formal letter. i was nearly out of time. then, when i wrote my formal letter, just after writing the sender's and recipient's addresses, and the RE: thingy, my pen started fading, and i was like, shit, it better not die on me. so i switched to my other pen, which thankfully, lasted through both essays, as well as the paper 2, thank god.

On the other hand, i was able to do the paper 2 with relative comfort. i was amazed at the simpleness of the imbuhan, managed to see through the cloak of lies and deception the peribahasa threw at me, understood all the bina ayats, and actually comprehend the prosedur cloze. FOR ONCE. lol. i managed the comprehensions well enough i think, and vocab, well, ok la. but i guess, yeah it's only the express malay paper, and that my papers next year are gonna be exponentially more difficult. sigh. but never mind, i shall not be daunted. my future is at stake. lol. well, anyway, to celebrate, went out just now. went to watch quantum of solace. thnk god it was only $6, what a waste of 1.5 hrs and $6. apart from the mindless shooting and action scenes, ther was nothing else. then went to walk about orchard, ending up at ct hall, then i went home. and thats abt it. i shd be sleeping soon, considering the fact that i have SYF training tmr at 0745. sigh. nvm. it'll be fun. so for now, adieu.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Happy Birthday...

I know you think I forgot the date
But I know I never will
I will never be able to
Besides, it's so easy to remember

Not that I would need reminding
I think you just didn't see it yesteryear
I know it's still 5 days
But people are already celebrating for All Hallow's Eve

And I wish I could celebrate it with you every day
Even if the doors are all locked
I will find a way in
Find some way to be with you

Yet, the door slams every day
And your voice, your shadow, lingers only to my eye
I see you, I feel you
But I'm dead to you

So I just wanted to say
Before you get bored
Happy Birthday
Stella Maris

Mik...

Friday, October 24, 2008

Evil...

TO many of us, evil seems to be equated to acts of immorality. notice that i use immorality, not amorality. note the distinction. divagation aside, back to evil. the etymology of the word can be traced back through the languages to one word: regression. in all essences. i suppose its right actually. acts of evil are basically a regression of the self. nothing about morals or whatever. oh, morals. a code of ethics written by Man to justify their wrongdoings and to easier sentence their criminals. but before i go further, let me say first; evil and good are purely subjective and depend on a person's perspective.

Yeah sure u might say that I'm immoral (or amoral, whichever u want), that i'm inhumane and the fact that i'm not outrightly condemning evil is proof of my lack of humanity, but maybe u need to open your mind a little. in this world, a lot of things may be seen as evil, but there are an equal number of things that are perceived as evil, but are truly amoral in their actions and fully depend on intent. when you know how much evil exists in this world, you slowly begin to lose any hope you had, any illusion you entertained that good can prevail in this world. but being wise homo sapiens that u are, im sure u already know that. slowly, even the "goodness" starts ebbing away, slowly at first, then in torrents consequently, until one day you are left with no hope at all, till even Pandora's Box is emptied.

Finally, you begin to doubt everything that you ever knew. until all that's left is a void, emptied of life, of emotion, or goodness. then, when everything seems like it can't get any worse, then you begin to lose your sanity, then your soul, and ultimately, your life. i don't know how to be happy anymore, which is why i don't understand how some people can find it within them to pursue happiness, for themselves and others around them. of course, it's excellent that these people can do that, and that's all fine and good. at least they can find happiness in their life on this earth. then, for me, the happiness just dies. people have told me that my eyes are lifeless, they are dead, as good as a corpses'. and the thing is, i know that. i can make peoples' smiles falter when i look at them. that time i was in the MRT i looked at this guy coming in, and he was smiling happily, but as soon as he saw me, i saw his smile slip off, with the merest flicker of fear in his eyes. and the thing is, i'm actually fascinated with this thing. normally, people would be worrying if their eyes were appearing dead. but for me, i want it to happen more. i like that it happens. i like that i have that ability to induce such negativity. its beautiful, in i dark glamour kind of way. i wish i could do more with my eyes though - 'were they a basilisk's, to strike thee dead'

By now, you probably think i'm off my rocker. i wouldn't blame you. yet another thing i've learnt is that insanity or madness is also subjective. an anachronism may be seen as madness, yet in its own time, would be seen as the norm. so you see, i dun mind it muh when people call me insane or twisted. i prefer to think...experimentally. what does it matter, right, if my humanity is leaving me? after all, i might be able to live a bit easier that way...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

What's up?...

SO i haven't been posting for about 11 days. ok. u havent missed much, so dun fret. i mean, all that u missed was me going for LLTC, cos i rly didnt do much during the marking days after the exams, then i got back my results last friday, then its just been reviews and reviews. LLTC was on 17-19. talk later abt that. my exam results are terrible. i cant bear to type it out; ill just scan it in when i get my report book. im really, really disappointed. but what can i do? nothing. except work harder next time. ok. anyway, enough about exams.

LLTC. Lasallian Leadership Training Camp. ok. fun. a bit too many lectures, but most of them were by Bro Mike and Mr Chan for me, so lucky lucky. nothing too boring. but still. and i really, really hate blow wind blow. but nvm. i suppose it was fun; made new frens, loosened up a bit (you should hv seen me dancing; you'd hv laughed ur ass off). the camp was at st patricks, cos LLTC A was at SJI, so we usually rotate. but anyway. why do i love that word so much? well, ther was only 1 patrician and 1 SJIIan in my group, so it wasnt that much of a shock for me. and everyone was really nice, i was so happy. at least my group wasnt gonna be a problem. i actually had fun la. i mean, sure, walking from st pats to orchard road is tiring, but its the journey, right? whatever it was, i really loosened up during the camp, since it was after exams and all that. ppl actually told me i looked happier. hmph. odd, considering i dun look happy all the time. but that shd give u an idea.

Nothing much after that, yesterday was just more and more reviews; so boring i nearly slept during the reviews. and i was in such a whacked up state of mind yesterday, that i actually missed a meeting with my teacher; thank god i didnt get screwed. but still. today was the last day of school. the usual End-of-Year Thanksgiving. so slack. just sit ard and hv TCS all the way, go hall, sing song, clap here and there, endure speeches and awards presentations, then go home.

Then Mummy went and got her car smashed up a bit. i nearly died when i heard. luckily, just a bit of damage to the bonnet, no personal damages, so thats all im thankful for. but yeah, it was a nice car. at least it can be repaired. i hope. from tomorrow till the 4th november i hv supp class, so that's gonna be equally taxing, cos were gonna attempt to finish up the syllabus as much as possible; so that means, sound for physics, binomial theorem and partial fractions for amaths, TKAM for lit, development for geog, chapter 6 more ss. sigh. so much for a break. then on 5th november, ill be taking my S4ML O Level Paper, which is in about 2 weeks. yes, u sense the urgency in my voice, its almost tangibly palpable. riiiight. oh who cares? rihanna is coming in 3 weeks! ahhh!! im SO going. tix a bit the ex tho, $95. but nvm, shes the most successful artiste this decade by the Billboard Top 100 charts. so no loss, i guess.

Well, thats abt it for tonight, gonna go read up on sound some more for physics, then go watch ugly betty later. so yeah. cyaz.

Friday, October 10, 2008

HIIII!!!...

OK, i'm so sorry i haven't been writing in for so long! i've been really busy with exams, but they jus finished today, and i was and am so HAPPY! i swear, it's been a madhouse for all of us involved with exams. ive never been so stressed for exams EVER. i just wonder how im gonna cope with o levels next year, lol, i think ill be in hysterics, snapping at everyone and anyone who interrupts me, locking myself in my room, surrounding by piles of tottering books and notes. hermit! ok, sorry. i'm very, very high today.

Ok, so Hari Raya wasn't exactly a most joyous affair, because i had to study for papers after that, so this year has been one of the, if not the, most sedate and boring Raya ever. im really getting really tired and jaded, with every passing year. so i dont have much to say for raya. moving on...

My exams have been absolutely terrible. i swear, i dun even wanna talk abt it. im gonna fail amaths and physics, which was today. and higher malay was a complete nightmare. i will nvr forget that word. mengongkong. or something like that. who cares. and i will never forget that stupid peribahasa now, and what it means; asal pengapak kayu, asal emas penduk. or smthn like that. who CARES? its all over now! i swear, after that i went insane, after walking back form esso, i screamed out loud. lol, then went home. after that went out again to meet zh and ash at orchard to shop, retail therapy. shut up. anyway, it was one of the wackiest days in orchard. walked around with ash and zh, with both of them making a complete ruckus everywhere, everyone stared at us like we were insane, for good reason i suppose. lol. after eating a vanilla cone, ash had to go home, so zh and me walked ard orchard even more. went all over the place, i swear retail therapy is one of the best, apart from gaming therapy. but yeah, i had to stop myself splurging, reminding myself that end of exams did not = end of allowance. lol. anyway, i had to particularly control myself after getting to isetan, cos ther was this insane Billabong sale, 50%!! and ther were gorgeous clothes ther. sigh. i so had to control myself.

Apart from that, we walked around ngee ann city, stopping by Armani Exchange, and attracting rude stares from the salespeople. i hate ppl like that, who think just bcos im a student, i cant shop ther. i wld hv walked into Ted Baker London, had i not been so casually dressed. gits. anyway, then we had a drink at mccafe (caramel frappes rock!!), then we went home. it was such a fun day. oh yeah, by the way, i got defecated upon by an asinine bird at orchard, in fron of paragon. so annoying. i felt smthn warm, then wet, then EWWWWW!!!! i yelped for tissue frantically wiping the egested matter off my forearm, thank god. at least it wasnt my head. and then there were these 2 bangladeshi workers, laughing their asses off at me. gits. i felt like punching them. i immediately took off in a huff, lol.

Oh yeah, we went to Toys 'R' Us. i swear teens in my generation are deprived; i saw more teens in ther than children. and i was trying on halloween masks and fighting with zh using foam swords. ill post the pix latr, im too tired now. oh well, thats abt it for now. chiao!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Long time no...

YEAH its been slightly more than a week since i last posted. not much has happened in a week actually. its just been a really stressful week 2. i wont even bother going in to details. i dun wanna be reminded of all that happened. in fact, the only thing i remember is going a little over the edge on wednesday in school thanks to stress. just know that i was livid with everything. then, on friday had physics SPA. yet another calamity. when everyone gets a gradient of 15.something, i get a freaking 11.6. all my SPAs have been quite screwed up actually. i just hope that i dun screw up my chem SPA next thursday. anyway, friday was fun enough. went out to Furama City Centre for break fast. so basically, i stuffed my face at an international buffet for 2 hours. i know. horrendous. yesterday was fine too. i was actually supposed to go for some stupid symposium for my mentorship, but it was from 9am-6pm. who in their right mind would want to be stuck in the Ngee Ann Kongsi Auditorium in SMU for 9 hours?? i just ponned it. couldnt care less. and i got back my recent Piano G3 exam results. passed with merit. sigh. missed distinction by 6 marks. so sad. on the other hand, i got 18/21 for sight-reading, which i think is a feat. haha. i ve spent the whole day (from 11.30 till 1400) finishing up my work; ss, malay. so annoying. anyway, will be going out to the airport later for break fast and to welcome someone home. catch y'all later.

Friday, September 12, 2008

O-Level SPA...among others

TODAY must be the worst day this year. assembly is cancelled for the no reason, so i dun get to receive my Distinction cert, but its ok, i dun wan to anw, not in front of everyone. so malu. ok. then, emaths, got the next trigo worksheet. so annoying. cld barely do it. little did i know that was only the beginning. then had geog. was such a waste of my time. she finished up hard engineering for coastal management, then at 10.10, she chionged through soft engineering, then gave us homework. we had to rush to the bio lab. we sat our bio Science Practical Assessment, which is for O-Level, there are 3 sessions, altogether consituting 20% of our total science mark. so i hv one session this year, 2 next. and today's was so screwed up. i mean, i got all my working correct, and i got the answer, but my graph was SO screwed up. i was so depressed just now. anw. then after that, lazed ard in class tho we were supposed to go for pe. but then, it was recess, then it was time for me to go. had to go get changed. why? cos today is also my 25m Live Firing for M16-S1. i was really nervous coz these were live rounds. meaning, in the case of a misaimed shot, someone cld die. so, high-risk. we only left school at about 12.35, i think, due to circumstances beyond our control. then spent the whole bus journey complaining and whining to ashraff in malay, cos no one else understood. then, get there, briefing, then go and shoot. omg, i swear by the time it was my turn, i was positively hyperventilating. i swear, when i heard the gun go off, i got such a shock. the recoil is much stronger than the simulated one, though. anyway, i'll spare u the agonising process itself. by the end of it, my results were: 1/18. yes, one hit, not missed. absolutely amazing, isn't it? luckily, as there were only 2-3 schools there, we finished by 3.30, which is very early. left the camp at 3.45 to Boon Lay station, reached there at 4, then because i was so early, i had to go home myself, so i had to take all the way to city hall, then take a bus home. thank god there is a direct bus to my hse. but really, im just so tired, and i cant wait for break fast. of course, when ur half dead, it never comes fast. 5 more minutes!!!!! ok then, thats about it. its finally the weekend. yay! catch y'all later!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Avril Lavigne's The Best Damn Tour...

HEY HEY everyone. yeah i know it's been a while since i last wrote in, but i've been busy. now, my last post was 5 days ago. what's happened? hm. let's see. friday, went for prayers, then went out for a while, i think. if i remember correctly. not much. saturday, my life finally got back to normal when there were no more mentorship sessions. yay! then, after that, went for break fast at my gran's house. had fun playing PS2 with my cousins. was sad when i had to go though. ah well. that's it. then, sunday. finished up any last minute work i had in the morning (or what was left of it, considering i woke up at 11) before school started. then slacked the whole day. then, in the evening, went for Avril Lavigne's THE BEST DAMN TOUR!!! it was SO cool!! i dun have any pix/vids though, i'm sowee. i was disallowed from bringing in any imaging devices. but nvm that. i had SO MUCH fun. i went with my sister, just the two of us, and we rocked the night away! my only complaint was that the concert was a little short; less than an hour and a half. but shes SO COOL!!! ARGHHH!

Miraculously, I managed to get home before 11pm, in a car obviously, but still. i only slept at 11.30 though, then woke up for sahur, couldnt sleep, just lay in bed till 6.30. i swear, the first day back in school was bad enough. double maths is a killer, along with bio. and it was a depressing day. in malay class, i was the only ONE out of 44 to fail my summary with 7/20. then had amaths. stupid trigo (8). then, after recess was bio, which was SO boring that i actually finished my trigo during bio, so i could slack during 2nd maths period. then she decided to give out trigo (9), and i looked at it, and that's all i did. stared at it. i swear, i could have spat blood. proving of trigo identities. i already had this presentience that i would not be able to do it. and i was proven right. i was falling behind desperately, and snapping at everyone. i was just livid. forutnately, there was no TDP, but i was staying behind with zh to do trigo (9) so we wouldn't fall behind the next lesson, we stayed back until 4.45, and we only did a quarter of the questions. although we attempted half the paper, we skipped like, every alternate qn. sigh. i just gave up there and then.

Then, there's today, which was ok. lit was tolerable, double malay was bearable, much better than usual actually, and chem was pure fun. then rme was so slack, watched Ordinary People, then el, planned out our essay for tomorrow, geog was so boring, i was falling asleep due to sheer exhaustion. and i had moved to the seats further in front. not that it helped. when she had her back turned, drawing diagrams of spits and tombolos, i was just sleeping. lol. who wants to know about spits, tombolos, longshore drifts anyway? then had mcs, we started the very rudimentary steps of our SYF routine, just as a 'screening' test, to assess our problem areas and to see each member's enthusiasm for it. it was fun actually. oh, were doing SYF Malay Dance (Tarian Melayu) next year at Central Judging; we're the pioneer batch, its an unprecedented thing in the history of MCS. something happened but i wont tell u wat. dun bother asking me. :D anyway, that's all for tonight!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Puasa...

WELL, its the 4th day of fasting, and i have to say, its been going very well for me. thank god. i could say the holidays have been ok, too. i completed all my school homework yesterday, im almost done with my film paper. i think i should be able to finish it by tomorrow, since its already 853 words, and ive only got 1200 words. so yeah, i might go and get my stuff for my goh sin tub portfolio later, then i need to dig out all my selected pieces and retype them, print them out, then organise them, all by this sunday. sigh. ive really got to finish my film paper tomorrow. i havent even managed to fit in any revision this holiday, save for a bit of bio i need in my workbook just now; i barely completed 1 worksheet. sigh. terrible. im gonna fail my final years!!!!!!!! ARGHHH! i need to work doubly hard on my emaths and ss, i simply CANNOT fail any subjects. if i do, i dunno wat i'll do to myself. well, thats about it, i guess. just had to let out my frustrations. oh yeah, went bowling with michael and zhi hao on tuesday, my ass got owned spectacularly. amazing. played halo with them yesterday; yet again, my ass got pwned. hm. leaves something to think about. haha.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Sahur...

HEY everyone, i'm writing this at 6am in the morning, having just finished my pre-dawn meal (aka sahur) half an hour ago. i cldnt resist posting. well, ppl, its the 1st of september, so Happy Teacher's Day!!! haha. its also the holidays. yay. notice my enthusiasm. oh, has anyone finished the emaths and amaths papers? i dunno how to do some. i plan to finish up my malay today if i can. sigh. food-deprived, water-deprived. for the next month. watch out ppl, here i come! yeah, its a bit of a short post, but i gave u all a treat yesterday. haha.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

A week...

IT'S been a week exactly since my last post. no i didnt time it that perfectly. anyway. a lot has happened in a week. i've gotten my exam results back. disastrous. i failed emaths. finally. oh, and social studies as well. so what else is new? but nvm that. i'm 15th in class, and my L1R5 is 13. i wanted to cry, with a percentage of 69%. and a mean subject grade of 3 point something. sigh. definitely not a very good term this time. but still, it's all over now. it doesn't matter. thankfully its only 5% of my final mark. but still. its depressing. on thursday, we were dismissed earlier, because of PTM, so went for a quiet family lunch to celebrate my dad's bday. then on friday was the teacher's day celebrations. so after ACE'S day workout on the field at 8am, went up to class, put our bags and went to the hall for the concert. it was...bearable. though, i must admit, there were some rather hilarious moments. oh, letchmi...HAHAHA. then after that, went to orchard for a while cos linus wanted to get something at kino, then we went to novena sq (square2 actually) for lunch, zhi hao was with us as well. then after lunch went to my house to play xbox! so fun. played until 6.30. haha. i suspect thats the last bit of fun im gonna have in a long time.

Even this september holidays are gonna be horrible. i have piles of homework, a 1500-word film essay to complete. sigh. 2 maths papers, 1 malay informal letter, another 25x5 blanks to fill in of imbuhan. sigh. and were supposed to be revising for end-of-year exams. which are in about 5 weeks. sigh. after that, we have 2 weeks of supplementary lessons to try and finish up the o-level syllabus. so that, by next year, can devote to intensive revision. oh, what a plan. and ive still got live firing on 12th september, the first friday when school reopens. but then again, how many 15 -year-olds get to fire an M16S1 rifle with live rounds? sweet...

On another note, tomorrow is the first day of ramadhan, or the fasting month! yay! so i'll be waking up at about 5am later tonight to eat! haha. at least it's the september hols. oh yeah, i dun hv to go for training, i think. im fasting. haha. always so hopeful. but anyway, so begins a month of fasting (weight loss =p), not to mention short-temperedness when i get back to school. so watch out ppl, dun make me angry. i swear, lack of water and lack of sleep make me lash out at anything. in fact, i won't be surprised if this year, i even lash out at teachers, if i'm irritated enough. hm, that'll be interesting to watch. i tell you, if ong mei fen asks to to finish anymore trigo worksheets and i cant get the answer, i will scream and just slap her. with her favourite document camera. git. ah well, there ppl, i blogged ok? sayang sayang ok? no salah salah..

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Outward Bound Singapore (OBS)...

OK, so from the 18-22 august 2008, that is, last monday-friday, i attended OBS. u know, i was actually in denial about it last sunday. i mean, i seriously didn't believe i was going for obs. don't ask me why. no idea. but anyway, i think my parents were more worried than i was, running around persuading me to buy stuff and make sure i had everything packed. see, usually, i'd be the one panicking and running around frantically. more signs of denial. ah well. all i'm glad is that thank god i bought water booties, and sufficient trash bags and enough long-sleeved shirts. haha. so here it comes ok, the whole programme:

Day 1
my dad sends me to punggol jetty, the one thats hardly used by humans. im still in denial btw. but anyway, arrive there, spot my classmates and chat a while. then assembled, broken into groups and assigned instructors. which, of course, took very long. by the time we managed to board the ferry, it was about 10am. then reached our base camp at 1030. settled down, took out all the necessary items (tents, rations, food packs etc), by which time it was time for lunch. imagine my mortification: canned food on mess tins, for most of the duration of the camp. dear god. then after lunch, time for our first activity: belaying/rock-climbing. my first taster of things to come. it was actually fun. i swear, climbing that rock wall was so much fun, even if it wasn't that high. that was the only activity that day though. after that, it was time to settle down, reflections, dinner, pitch tents. but then, after dinner, it started raining really heavily, and it lasted the whole night. so we just sat outside our stores talking, and just chilling (in more ways than one). so passed the first night. oh, and of course we had to sleep under shelter, one of the Multi-Purpose Halls (MPH), and of course, i was in PE attire, short sleeves, shorts. and it was raining. i swear i was freezing my ass off that night, curled up in foetal position, shivering uncontrollably. well, it is obs.

Day 2
the next morning was to be our wet activity, essentially revising our canoeing for our sea expedition. so wake up to PT, then went down to the jetty, dragged out the canoes, practiced capsizing (i hate capsize drills) and rescuing each other. then after that, we had our jetty jump!!! my mum had said it was really fun, but of course i was a little scared. i mean, you had to walk the plank and step off. how cool and scary is that? i went 4th. so anyway, walked the plank, crossed my arms, and just walked off. i didn't want to think about it, because i knew i might hesitate, so i just stepped off. there was that seemingly interminable drop before you hit the water, and then boom, you're going under, kicking furiously up to the surface and swimming aside. i accidentally opened my legs a bit though (guys, u know what this feels like). no permanent damage thank god. haha. then once everyone had jumped, we all swum back to shore. halfway through, we were atttacked by flying fish. a whole horde of them. it was scary. there were hundreds just jumping across the water; small leaping fish. some leapt into life vests, i kept my mouth firmly shut. i did not wanna know what fresh fish tasted like. just swam on. haha. reached shore, drank, then that was it for the morning. after that, lunch. bathed, changed to climbing attire for our high elements after lunch. we got flying fox. mine was slightly more than 5m i think. oh btw, i was logistics IC for the whole course, meaning i had to take care of everything in the store, luckily got someone helping. if not. as it is, i went ballistic when things went missing. (which was seldom, thankfully) anyway, back to flying fox. i was one of the last few to go sadly, but once it was my turn i was so excited. id done FF before of course, but not this high. so at first, climbed the ladder really fast, but once i got to the middle, and they enclosed the ladder, it got a bit tight for me to move fast, and once i got higher, my fear took hold, and i slowed a little. finally, reached the platform. harnessed, holding onto the shackles, ready to go. stared down, whoa. looked straight ahead, and jumped off. haha. it was fun of course. i didnt even think about it. after that, had to pack our stuff, because from then on, we'd be moving campsite every night. so then, after we were packed, it was time to set off for our new campsite. it was by the sea. beautiful place. (lots of sandflies though) then, pitched up tent, prepared for dinner, i had some silent, contemplative solitude by the sea for a while, then spent the night talking with my friends, and laughing and joking. then went to sleep. one of the best, if not the best, sleeps i had.

Day 3
we woke at dawn to prepare for our sea expedition that day. packed everything, the tent, our bags. went to help drag the canoes down to the beach. and we saw a beautiful rainbow that morning. it was really huge, unlike the types u get in singapore. it was so celestially beautiful i immediately took it for a harbinger of good things that day. i was kinda right. anyway, we started late, at 0730, and started to paddle. we were to canoe around ubin to the next campsite, Campus 1, the more civilised one, with the promise of cooked food. haha. sadly, my partner and i had chosen a faulty canoe; it kept veering to the side, and whenever we righted it, it just veered the other way. we spent so much time and energy righting it that we were constantly the last few canoes. of course, constantly banging into other canoes didn't help either. all i know is that, i was thirsty, hungry, tired. and still we canoed. on and on and on. i couldn't keep track of anything else, except to canoe and canoe. finally, 6 hours later, we reached the campsite. i shan't go into details about the canoeing, it got very repetitive; hunger, thirst, exhaustion, paddle, shouting, colliding etc. so anyway, after 6 godblessed hours, we sighted our destination. lol. our target was to arrive at 1330; we arrived at 1327. pure ownage. no choppy waters, thank god, for the duration of our canoeing. and when i found out later some groups took 9 hours to canoe, i was really glad we took 6. finally, dragged our canoes and arranged them, then went to shower and then it was time to pitch our tent. it was in some godforsaken place, in the jungle, up some steep slope, in a place infested with mosquitoes. you didn't have to do anything except breathe and you'd be bitten. lol. then after that, it was time for dinner. oh what a civilised dinner. cutlery, plates, cups, cooked chicken, rice, cabbage, ngoh hiang. haha. i swear it was so nice. after days of canned food. then it was time for one last activity, as a prelude to our land expedition the next day. it was a kind of amazing race around the campus, navigating for answers to clues. so we finished it quickly, went back. in the end we had 2nd place. after that, we had a aeroplane relay. the first team would get to choose from 4 materials (just A, B, C , D) to build their plane, second team from 3 materials etc. so we got newspaper. thanks to a skilded scout in our group, we got second place, and consequently, then 2nd easiest route for land exped. we were overjoyed. then it was time to sleep. it was really scary, going up to our campsite; it was pitch dark, and we couldn't see a thing. finally though, reached the sanctuary of our tent, slept. quite a good sleep again.

Day 4
woke up, unpitched tent, then it was time for PT. not so tiring thank god. then breakfast!! oh yeah, we also had a bit of supper last night. green bean soup. anyway, breakfast!!. kuey teow goreng, with a sausage. delightful. then, after that, packed our stuff to get ready to go for our land ex. then , we left at 1000. went to camp 2, our original base camp, to drop off our life vests and tarpaulin and wet shoes, which considerably lightened our load. then we continued our way on to the next few checkpoints. my favourite was the spot at the top of Ketam Quarry, overlooking it. i could even see singapore from there, could see changi control tower, CBD, singapore flyer. so cool. had some snacks there, then moved on. we were to traverse the island, making our way to Ubin Village. we finally got there in one piece. and rested, ate, then it was time to return to camp 2. on the way, stopped by the german girl's shrine to learn about it, then it started raining. after it subsided we left, then we were relatively near camp, when it really begun pouring. when we started out, it was hot and humid ( i was still dry), but by the time i'd rushed back to camp 2, i was cold, sodden, freezing and wet, drenched to the bone. sigh. after that, once we had settled all our stuff, we packed our stuff to go home the next day, then had dinner, then reflections, then slept.

Day 5
finally, the long-awaited day of freedom. woke up feeling great. haha, unpitched the tent, then went down for PT. of course, three-quarters of the group was late, so we were punished a bit. but then, we were brought down to the floating platform by our instructor for last reflections and lessons, then it was time for breakfast. after that, it was packing everything back in the store, taking inventory etc. naturally, we finished before most other groups, and then headed down for our final activity together as a group. won't go much into that. after that, we were allowed to go souvenir shopping (got a t-shirt and collar-pin) then wait for everyone else to finish. by the time we boarded the ferry it was 1345. reached punggol jetty at 1400. and thats it.


anyway, i wanna say what a great Watch i belonged to; Hillary Watch, you rock! now and always! we were named for Sir Edmund Hillary, conqueror of Everest, and we conquered it every time. so yeah. also, just wanna say a word of appreciation for our instructor, mr. Hyzue, who was really great with us. he was the best! go OBS!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Dreary week...

WHAT a berserk week it's been. I dun even know where to begin. and the worst thing is, it's only gonna go downhill (whichever way u look at it) from here. sigh. but nvm. this past week has been my common tests. oh, the horror. let's see (hold on, i'm retrieving my exam list from the trashcan).

Tuesday - Literature: unseen prose dealing with irony [it was so drama]. ok i guess, i think i may be able to get a reasonable mark for it. i hope.
- Chemistry: The best paper I've had by far. i'm not joking. i'm confident of an A2, if not an A1 (lowest in class was 27/40, which is A2). but we'll see.

Wednesday- Additional Mathematics: what a screwed up paper. i was so depressed after this paper. i didn't even wanna count how many marks i'd lost. ah screw maths.
-Physics: it was ok, compared to last term. i mean, at least i knew what i was doing, and not just getting random nonsense. i think i really have to depend on my Sciences this term...

Thursday - Social Studies: technically, it should have been easy. practically, ss is never easy (for me, at least) i dunno, i hope i pass it at least, unlike last term.
- Elective Geography: doable. surprisingly. i mean, at least i could draw the stupid x-section. and im so happy i could interpret the stupid Hjulstrom curve ( i think). but i gave excess answer for the river management qn. i hope they dun have in excess denial in geog. lol.

Friday (today) - Elementary Mathematics: one word: fiasco. I've lost a confirmed 12 marks, at least. yes, because i didn't have time to complete the stupid paper, as did most other normal ppl. but as i say yet again, screw maths. and i have to say; I HATE it when there are so many freaking shapes inscribed in ONE stupid circle.
- Biology: as Mr. Lim (my erstwhile bio teacher) said, it was doable. i have to agree. although i studied everything myself (i'm so proud: especially excretion. hey i can tell u how urine forms ok!) but i screwed up that stupid heart qn. i went to specifically label the blood vessels when i was just supposed to list their type. at least, the structured qn was ok. i hope. i pray.

So yeah, that's about it for this week. oh, and i had training today. slacked about as usual. got to stay in aircon comlab until 1630, then went ard school taking pictures. lol. oh yes, i need to update the blog with today's training. ok. sigh. i suppose it was quite fun in school today, after the end of exams. had pe immediately after exams, spent some time trying to evade the pe teachers as i skived pe. lol. then after recess, had prac for physics. so fun...at least i managed to complete the practical in time (which is a first, i assure u). then had mother tongue. jus did some paper, again. then had to go for obs and spa briefing, so couldnt go to friday prayers. i was falling asleep in the PAC during the briefings lol. was so tired and drained. stupid spa.

Oh, did i tell you? i'm going for OBS next week! isnt that just fabulous? and of course i have such a screwed up grouping. i wanna die with my grouping.i dunno how im gonna survive (with) them for 5 days. of torment. sigh. i'll tell u how it goes. if i survive. :D i'm actually looking forward to it, believe it or not. i mean, i got hooked onto adventure during ace camp. but yeah. i wonder how much worse this is gonna be. sigh. ok thats it abt OBS. dun wanna talk abt it anymore. i have that mentorship session tmr. grr. what a (waste of my) saturday. then ill spend sunday packing for OBS. then its off the next morn.

Well, overall, it's been a really hectic week and i haven't been getting enough reprieve. hahaha. not enough sleep. . . riiiiiight. well ok, that's my whole week worth of blogging, i guess. i'm getting tired again. lol. well. cy'all!

Friday, August 08, 2008

Busy week...

WHAT a week it's been. talk about hectic. monday was the only day i could come home early (and that was after TDP too) - which was why i could blog that day. tuesday we had intensive mcs practice, finished at 1730, by the time i got home it was 1830. was too tired to do anything, just pulled some homework and started doing, and thats it. wednesday, had bio remedial after school (complete waste of time, i was talking with my friends), then stayed back to revise and teach zhi hao trigo identities while doing bio notes simultaneously. finished at around 1730 then went home. so tired. finished up the rest of my homework due yesterday (stupid geog ws) and thats it. thursday, had final mcs rehearsal and practice for our performance today, finished at about1615, then hung ard sch until 1730, then went home, and just slacked basically. cos i was so tired. today! today was our performance, which we have been practising for for 24 hours (in total over 3 months) - school celebrating national day today. it was SO fun! i'd forgotten how much fun it was to perform in front of the school haha. but seriously i had loads of fun. playing kompang this year. along with some movements (performing arts). haha. i swear syf later this year is gonna be so fun. we'll be dancing , so basic training this year, then intensive next year before the competition itself. it'll be done by april next year. aaaaahhh! i can't wait. haha. yeah yeah ok. heres some pix of today. (behind-the-scenes)

me in my performance attire...


me (maniacally) defending my kompang - LOL


me (contentedly) walking away with my kompang




Monday, August 04, 2008

SINGFEST!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!! Singfest was awesome!!! i am so going again next year. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! i just can't say how amazing it was. it was my first concert EVER, and i was so excited and pumped for it, i was fashionably dressed (yet remaining comfortable). it was at fort canning park and when i got there, i was shocked. the queue was so long, it was unbelievable. but anyway, we managed to get in before onerepublic performed, when we finally got to the main stage, jamie scott and the town was still performing. but anyway, when onerepublic came on, i went crazy lol, when they performed their hit singles, i sang my heart out haha. same goes for everyone else who performed; panic at the disco!!! ahhh! so cool. then jason mraz, ok la, was quite cool. then levis fashion show, fun enough, took a breather, then rick astley performed (80s singer), and half of singfest was on their feet cheering (see, got more older ppl than teens), so i sat down for the whole time, taking a rest, had a bit of dinner. haha. then PCD!!!!!!!! i tell you, their dance routine was amazing!!! just like u see in their videos. and i cld sing to every song they performed, it was so hyper. haha. then alicia keys, only managed to hear Karma. cos she was performing a full set, and she started at 2315, 1.25hrs late. so it was way too late, i still had to wake up for sch this morn lol. glad to say i managed to survive school, despite only getting 5 hrs of sleep. lol. but it was really fun, and i totally enjoyed myself, in a very long time. here are some pix. (sry for quality, esp night shots lol)

Me and my sis (yeah i look, questionable)


The Main Stage


Clearest Pic of Ryan Tedder (OneRepublic)


Clearest Pic of Jason Mraz


Clearest Pic of Brendan Urie(PANIC! AT THE DISCO)


Friday, August 01, 2008

A New Month...

WELL, that's it. the end of the week, the end of july. actually its already 1st august today but nvm. yesterday was a totally hectic day. i cant even rmbr wat happened during lessons, except i was falling asleep in ss yet again. its amazing how much u wanna just put your head down and sleep. but anyway. after school had MCS yest, and i was rather glad that they showed marked improvement. of course, perfection seems to be an interminably long way away, but at least they're playing together. i mean the juniors. sigh. what to do ah, when your juniors in your cca are utterly despondent and unmotivated, and can't be bothered to do anything. sigh. terrible. but anyway, today was ok. i suppose. maths, did 2 qns of trigo eqns, was called upon to present my answer for qn 2(a). lucky i can do maths now. i tell you ah, in lower sec u ask me to present answers right, i will like steal my friend's (who's good in maths) book/ws and give that answer instead. of course, there were some times when i didnt do that, so there were some times i got things wrong. on the board. for everyone to see. but nvm that. anyway, digression aside. next was ss; im so glad i managed to stay awake. but boring as usual. then bio. prac! so fun, although it was so stressing, cos i cldnt get my sucrose solution concentrations right. i was actually the last to leave the lab! which fyi has never happened before. so annoying. then rushed up to change for pe. helped to time the napfa runners. so quite slack. haha. then played a bit of rugby (just catching and passing). after recess, had physics. again called upon to answer question. lucky easy one. just say, gas particles are in constant, random motion. yada yada yada. then left for malay, left my phone in class, doubled back to class to get it. yeah, my day was full of rushing around school.

As for ncc, i spent half of training running around the school to find a godblessed computer to do the blog/website. first go to comlabs. then she say no open lab today cos all labs being used by cca. so we left after the coms started major lagging (typical) and headed to the library. then @ the library, kena scolded by the counterwoman, for wearing pe in (we're not allowed to wear pe) then she say, ''im the one who will be blamed for letting u in, u dun wan me to get blamed do you''. of cos i do! duh. git. then she chased us out. i was already like, giving her attitude la. so pantat. already im rushing around the whole school, u wanna scold me for wearing pe. sue me. jeez. so we went back to the air room, changed (just wore over our pe) and went back there again. then we managed to persuade the chief librarian (not her) to waive our fees for internet usage, since it was NCC business. haiz. then we left at 1630, cos they close at 1630. then went to change out again, then went to take more pictures of ppl having modules. oh great, that reminds me; i need to sift through like, 300+ pictures. damn. then after training, while waiting for my dad, played some badminton with my partmates. wah, so fun. the only time i actually perspired due to physical exertion. lol.

Anyway, on a completely different note; justice. i think that justice, true justice can never exist in this world, as long as it is humans who are judging. humans are not infallible, thus the laws they created are subject to the same fallibilities. so then, how can justice be carried out if these laws are erroneous, in a way. justice is blind? yes it is, but not in the positive way it is, rather in the most negative way, that is, it cannot truly see who are the perpetrators and who the innocents. yes, there have even been times when the two were wrongly switched, innocents falsely convicted, unlawfully sentenced. unfortunately, i do not, cannot believe in justice anymore. justice is merely an illusion created by man to create the fantasy of an ordered and structured, fair world. yet the truth is as distant from that image as we are from utopia. in other words, we're nowhere near. corruption and bribery, deceit and fraudulence, rampant throughout our societies and communities, lavishing in impunity, when they should be languishing. you see, life isnt fair. anyone who thinks it is is deceiving themselves. anyone who thinks they can uphold justice and the law is lying to themselves. so long as humans are judging each other, equality, justice, truth, fairness will never prevail.

the quality of mercy is not strained
it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
upon the place beneath it is twice blest
it blesseth him that gives and him that takes
'tis mightiest in the mightiest. it becomes
the throned monarch better than his crown.
...but mercy is above this sceptred sway,...
it is an attribute of god himself

And that is why humans' idea of mercy, justice, truth is merely a perverse twist of an attribute of god himself, a demented idea, dangling from the most fragile thread. ready to break at any moment, and plunge the world into deeper despair.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fiendish...

THIS week, so far, has been absolutely fiendish. i suppose monday was ok, since i left school after recess to ggo for piano exam. nvm how that went though. :P anw. yesterday was a really hectic day. firstly i got back my chem test, on structure of matter, and guess what i got. 5. out of 15. u noe i was in hysterics. i ttly couldnt believe that i scored THAT low. it was appalling. disgraceful. argh. i was so irate, it was unbelievable. anw. then of cos, after an ss lesson during which i nearly fell asleep, there was MCS, which was another catastrophe, since some gits got it into their minds they can come and go as they want, what with the performance being next week. god. finished at about 5, then got home, and started on the colossal pile of homework. then, got to work on the tedious NCC website and blog. sigh. it was like, 8.40pm when i finished yest. just enough time for dinner, then watched ugly betty, then dropped straight off to sleep. i just couldnt tahan. i was out by 10.30. so yeah.

Today was...ok...I suppose. lit, i argued with the teacher a bit. so much fun contradicting a teacher and showing off. lol. XD eng, had some article fallacies thingy. at least no essay tmr!! then phy, ok la, went thru ex 6, then maths, struggled a bit cos i missed the lesson on monday, right. but it got ok after a while. then after recess, maths (again), we had this stupid test, the whole period, i barely finished. it'll be another miracle if i pass that test. i hate radians. then after that had bio. sigh. cldnt understand anything tho. yes, u ppl know why. anyway, then chem, we had another test, this time from tys. sigh. ok la. whole period test again. so quite a slack day. then after school, helped my friend settle his essay submission, we're nominating our eng teacher for inspiring teacher of english award. yeah, then went home. luckily, i finished the trigonometry (3) in school, so effectively no hw! yay! so i started cooking carrot cake. (chai tow kway) yeah, its still steaming now, i hope i got it right. lol. if it screws up again, i dunno wat to say la.

You know, getting back that chem test was a real eye-opener for me. i mean, having never scored that low before, im not used to such substandard work, and what surprised and shocked me most was that, hey, thats my work. and my work is now worth 5/15 marks. when you realise that, then u realise how much the value of failure is. i mean, yeah, i dun think i wld ever want to fail anything, esp not an examinable subject. but still, the cliched saying that yes, failure is the mother of success, doesnt really appeal to me, at all, actually. i mean, i think that too fail is too fail. period. no euphemisms, just you and your failure, which is a slap in the face for you and a kick in the ass, knocking u off your high horse. sure, you puritans (yes, puritans) may think that oh, failure is a part of life, and u havent lived if u havent failed etc etc, yeah ok. but like i said, in the end, all that remains, is that YOU FAILED. simple as that. nothing fancy, nothing deep. think about it.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

ARGH...

IT'S been a little over a week since i last blogged. which just goes to show how busy this stupid week has been. monday, dining etiquette. tuesday, mcs till 1730. wed, managed to go home. thur, managed to go home, thanks to breakdown in communications resulting in cancellation of mcs practice. gits. friday, training, leave early at 4 to help out with concert duty, providing food for the performers, then rush to watch concert itself. I must say, though, the Gathering of Kindred Spirits this year was really fun. i enjoyed myself tremendously! it was like being at a classical concert and a rock concert simultaneously. seriously. one minute its paganini and sarasate, the next its red jumpsuit apparatus and rihanna. damn. how much better can it get? u get the best of both worlds. oh, and the dances. oh, and IJTP dance. that was nice. haha. wat? wat do u expect? u noe i doing food &refreshments duty earlier rite? and my fren told me some of the IJ girls didnt eat, for fear of um, losing shape. ok...nvm. but who cares? their dance rocked. so all in all, i had a really fun night with my friends, and kindred this year is not something im likely to forget.

So basically, yeah, thats whats been happening this crazy week. yesterday went to watch dark knight. it ROCKED. i swear to god. the joker was AMAZING. wish i could be like that... why-so-serious??? and the makeup? nightmarish. and the acting? maniacal. depraved. awesome. but yeah, i hv to agree with the reviewers, the joker really overshadowed the caped crusader this time. and the storyline was fantastic. thank god it wasnt one of those happy endings, u know. according to my mum, it was so depressing. i LOVED it. the twists and turns were exhilarating and fresh. kudos to christopher nolan. anyway, tomorrow is my Grade 3 piano practical exam, so wish me luck. sigh. i hope i can do this! at least i get to leave school early tomorrow. yay! no bio, maths. ill die for maths tho, if i hv to catch up. but nvm, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, eh? anyway, toodles for now!


Saturday, July 19, 2008

Weekend...

THANK you firstly to michael, for dedicating that piece of artistic prose to me when i really needed it, and i must say, it was very efficacious (in more ways than one) and rather ameliorated my despondency. thanks for trying, but i think ive reached the point where even friends' and family's consolation cannot hope to completely deter the occurrences of these feelings. but never mind that.

I wish that i could express myself through music, and write songs, and compose the music for it, songwrite, compose, but i can't. i think that to be able to express how one truly feels through music, through song, is the most beautiful thing that humans can do. the expression of the inner self manifesting itself in the form of music is, i must say, a most simple yet sophisticated idea. there are so many nuances in music, which correspond to the subtleties of the human emotions, that i feel the two were made for each other, inseparable. sure, i may have written some "songs", but they're just strings of words without music. besides, i don't even think they can be called songs; they're just not fit to be given that prestigious title.

Whatever it is, i really applaud all singer-songwriters out there, even those not reputed for a distinguished singing career, because they have done what not many of us dare to; follow their dreams. although it may not end up as well for some of them (think paris hilton, im sry i had to type that name, watch your screens for any smoking), but for most others, it becomes their life and soul, and it is those people whom i would, given the chance, wish to emulate as best as i can. theres a reason why amy lee is my piano idol, and favourite band, a reason why i love kelly clarkson to bits even if her latest album wasnt well received. its because these people know their music, and just listening to their music is enough for me.

Friday, July 18, 2008

tGiF...

YES, its friday. finally. today was such a slack day. i mean, ok first 2 periods were maths (which was not too bad) and ss (during which ms mara let us listen to U2's bloody sunday, cos were doing NI) then i left for satay-selling! i swear we had so much fun! i forgot how much fun i used to have selling it. i swear, when the lower sec recess began, all hell broke loose. taking orders, collecting money, scooping gravy, serving up. damn. i cld work as a waiter at a posh restaurant. anyway, i was in a white Byford t-shirt, with a kain slung across me, which i must say got in the way of serving, but i think it was kinda cool (as unflattering to my appearance as it is). i didnt manage to get any pix of myself though :( , cos we were so busy. but nvm. whatever it was, we were nearly sold out with the gravy (effectively the whole satay rig) before the upper sec recess began, so that by the time the upper sec boys came down, there was like major shortage of gravy. but anyway, all 2000 sticks sold. wow. it always happens, without fail, despite the tamil cultural society bringing in a roti prata man today, cooking prata fresh. we also got stay man ok, grilling satay fresh.

then we finished at about 11.45. so our teacher said we could just hang around until time to go for friday prayers. so thats what we did, chatted, took pix, and just chilled. then went for friday prayers, came back, changed into PT kit for training. training was bearable today. dunno how many times i got knocked down, though. whatever. had 1 1/2 hrs of badminton for PT. it was so much FUN. thats what i call PT, and i think i burnt more calories playing badminton than our usual PT (running, pushups, situps). so we were dismissed at 6. thank god. then, while waiting for my mum, whipped out my maths homework and got started. it was quite amazing that i could still think straight after everything today, cos i was just exhausted, enervated.

so yeah, thats the personal commentary over. anyway. what happens when your self-esteem takes a really good beating? i mean, seriously, when u realise that u are really nothing, nothing in this big, big world, where there are millions of people better than you, where you a re so insignificant, like a speck of dust in the universe. yeah, of course it sucks, but why do u actually feel like that? i mean, obviously, you've got some psychological and emotional troubles, but do you sort them out? or just ignore them, because you enjoy being "special"?

the need for acceptance into the majority is such an important characteristic of human nature, so much so that sometimes we don't even realise how much we yearn for it. im not saying that everyone feels this yearning, but when i do, and its something ive been feeling almost my whole life, it really hurts. and it pierces right to the core. why can't i just fit in, and be like everyone else? why can't i be normal? maybe its cos ive been marked to never join the ranks of normal people; there are so many things i want to be able to do, but i won't let myself do, because at those times, i just hate myself for being who i really am, and at those times really wish i was normal, like everyone else. don't ask me what i'm talking about, cos i won't tell you, but its enough to know it, right?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Term 3, Week 4...

AH, it's finally Thursday. tmr is the end of the week yay! anyway, tmr is gonna be a really slack day. i only have first two periods, then off to sell satay for the rest of the day up to end of recess. i swear ill be taking pix so u can see how stupid i look selling satay and taking orders. haha. anyway, tomorrow is also my first official training! i'm so excited. its also the inauguration of our new modules approach to PT. i think its gonna be a resounding success. hm. i must remember to remind them to give feedback tomorrow. ill be involved in the badminton module tomorrow (yes, stop smirking, i do play badminton, as unlikely as it sounds :P) and i think its gonna be fun. well, we'll see, won't we? i'll be glad for the weekend, though. it's been a really hectic week, not to mention tiring. u know yesterday night? i was asleep before 10.25pm. that is AMAZING. cause i dun usually drop off to sleep till abt 11pm thereabouts. so anyway, apparently i got an sms at 10.25, and i dun recall hearing it AT ALL. so yeah, i put my book down at 10.15, and i was asleep in 5 min. power la. but really, yesterday was such a draggy day. but nvm that. cant wait for next friday though. we have our gathering of kindred spirits concert, and goodness knows i need some cultural reprieve in my life. haha. it's after training though, so i'll have to shower in school. urgh. what to do? anyway, i gtg now. should be back tmr. stay tuned for that, and this is vladimir kalashnikov saying goodbye, and goodnight, simpleton!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

O levels!!!

OK, so today was my o level listening compre. omg, i was like so freaked. i mean seriously, esp when u consider the fact that ive only had about 2 or 3 practices this yr. yes, this yr. (YEAR) sry, cldnt resist. anyway, u know its a serious waste of time; cos ur supposed to report by 2pm, and then stay in the library for like, 2 hrs, doing work. i mean, even if u don't have any work, ur supposed to find work, or read a book. then of course, u hv a supervisor like kumuda, breathing down ur neck everywhere u turn, it was SO annoying. she and her saree, its like lord voldemort's cloak swishing around and u hv to keep looking out for it (i mean, her). and then she kept chasing after US. i mean, we were only talking about geog, and i asked saifullah abt geog, and shes like, do u wanna talk to him, or do ur work? wth?? got nothing better else to do is it? pft. thankfully i managed to finish some chapters in my bio tys. im determined to finish at least half the tys by this year, for all subjects that i have tys, except maybe physics, which is such an impossible subject for me.

So anyway, at 4, they asked us to prepare to move to the examination room, then GPK gave us some encouragement, and wished us gd luck (mr sim too) then went to the hall to keep our bags. surprisingly, i didnt feel anything. i think i was just too jaded to feel anything lol. then, finally in the exam room. u know its hilarious; o level LC is broadcast over national radio, so the whole of singapore can listen for you too, then compare answers. anyway, ours was on Ria 89.7 FM, and thats like a bilingual station, so while we were waiting for the broadcast, who else should they play but Rihanna?! it was so cool, at least i got to calm my nerves (yes, they had acted up by then) listening to Take A Bow. lol. thats the way exams shd be. it wasnt that bad actually. i mean, by the end of it, i was in perfect concurrence with my classmates of almost all the answers, except stupid qn 10, which was a stupid inference qn, which we've never encountered b4. diao. so ive heard all answers, from A - C, except D, which is totally out. so yeah, at most i get 18marks. at MOST. cough.

Anyway, we'll see how i do for that. the final written papers are this november, so yeah. SO looking forward to that. pft. well, tomorrow is gonna be rather fun, with the exception of bio. i mean the pedagoger (u noe wat i mean), not the pedagogy. i love bio otherwise. then chem (yay, oh yeah, i got 10/15 for my recent test, so disappointing) then phy (always amusing). double maths though. argh. cosine rule. then moving on to amaths trigo, with trigo functions and identities. god. eh, its so unfair, i cant go for the temple visit excursion with my class, cause got to go for dining etiquette. sianz. miss out again on a class event. while they're having fun, i'll be stuck in sch giving S2s a lecture. tsk. maybe can negotiate. hm. but tmr no mt. nvm la, thurs. ok, i think ive written long enough. sry, i hv such a flair for writing, i dunno when to stop myself. ;D

Monday, July 14, 2008

Over

I was always around, you never called me down
I was always there, but did you ever care?
I know I was broken, but you never saw
That was how I felt, all alone
In an empty shell

I took you for granted, thought you’d always be there
But I know better now, I guess you just didn’t care
I found it quite hard to believe
That you could do such a thing to me

I loved you
I wanted you
I had you
But still you went

Tell me, what were you thinking, just walking away?
Tell me, did you even need to do such a thing?
Tell me, do you think that I would ever heal?
Hardly

Do you know what you did?
When you left me hanging
You killed me, murdered me, tore my heart out of me
Don’t tell me you didn’t know
Don’t tell me it wasn’t all too obvious
Because you saw it
And, oh yes, I felt it so hard

I may not understand, why things have turned out this way
But I do know one thing; this is what I have to say
That we were never meant to walk this world, without each other
We should be together, forever
I trusted you, told you all that I knew
You took it all, but left an empty heart
You finished the book, read all the chapters that were there, then you threw it away, like you just never cared

I loved you
I wanted you
I had you
But still you went

Tell me, what were you thinking, just walking away?
Tell me, did you even need to do such a thing?
Tell me, do you think that I would ever heal?
Hardly

Do you know how much I missed you?
Do you know how long I cried myself to sleep every night?
I think you did, but you just closed your eyes to it
You deafened yourself to my pleas
How could you do it?
How could you even think of it?
I loved you, more than you could ever know

I loved you
I wanted you
I had you
But still you went…away

Tell me, what were you thinking, just walking away?
Tell me, did you even need to do such a thing?
Tell me, do you think that I would ever heal, again?
Hardly
Hardly
Hardly, no
Hardly



Copyrighted © Mikhail

8th September 2007

Monday blues...

BACK to school. sadly. well, i must say today wasn't that bad. i guess. el. ok. lit. boring, but ok. maths, tolerable. mt, appalling. bio, fell asleep. maths, again. tdp, frivolous. yeah, managed to hand up the godforsaken combined humans proj, finished it today as well. damn power la. everyone gave me theirs today, printed one person's one out, bought the file, designed the cover page, compiled everything. it looked presentable, in case u have any doubts. anyway. not very eventful today. just an ordinary monday. still. saturday was so busy la. got open house in the morning. report by 8am. sian. wear no.1 somemore. parade attire leh. so warm and stuffy, then must tahan all the parents and their darlings. lucky this year not so bad. im so happy, i stand there demonstrate drills. cool la. then my csm and my partmate left explaining. lol. damn fun ah actually. then i zao at 12 for my classes. then in the afternoon, i met them at changi beach (the other end of the world) for the S4 farewell.

That was another exhausting event. met them, settled down, then started barbecuing. remind me not to barbecue next time. wah, i tell you ah, one stupid chicken wing takes 10 years to cook la. then fire nazak (want to die) alr. so pantat. might as well mati right. then stand in front of the barbecue cooking, smoke like wanna die liao, so panas (hot), then i wearing black polo shirt. haiz. then i simultaneously taking pictures. i damn pro sia. chey ah. then finish at about 9.30. then got plaque presentation la, then im the first one to go up and make a speech and present. wah damn jialak leh. stand up there like some baboon on parade. then finally, everyone went home, then i waiting for my parents to pick me up, along with jeremy tang. then we jus barbecue the remainder of the food, and ate supper. so cool. quite nice leh. i actually ate the sambal sotong, which is saying something since i don't usually eat sotong. anyway, digression aside. yeah. then we stayed there so long, the teachers never come back, we both thought they pangsei us. then we left all the unused equipment there, and just left. lol. then when i walked to the carpark i saw them. wah.

So yeah, that was what happened. i was so exhausted by the time i got home. i swear. then sunday do nothing, actually chiong all my homework (sigh) then relax. aah. then today lor. aiyah. eh, tonight got chuck. yeah! sadly, its season finale is like in a fortnight. sad. its such a cool show.then of course, being the hopeless romantic that i am. yeah, ok i like romance. there, happy? ah, laugh. lucky not so much homework. im still dreading having to do that bio project, but time is running out...sigh. stress...anyway, ttfn.

P.S. nah i paragraph liao. happy?

Friday, July 11, 2008

WHAT an exhausting week ive been having. i swear, this week has just been dragging on, despite the youth day holiday, which i can barely remember now. goodness. lets see, tuesday, mcs till abt 5. its ok i suppose. wednesday. hmm. i cant remember what i even did on wednesday. see what i mean. its just a confusing blur. anyone who can remember, pls tell me. yesterday. um. was quite slack. quite fun actually. esp english. lol. geog for last period was BORING though. channelisation. what nonsense..dykes, gabions. whatever. then was chionging the stupid emaths poster yesterday. had to lug it back home to colour it, again. i was so pissed. i hate colouring, not least because im an artistic retard. haha. today was quite a relax day too. no training, thank GOD. lets see; maths, trigonometric ratios (idiotic), geog (boring), bio (practical, only demo though, but still didnt hv to listen to teacher), pe (redid my standing broad jump [yes, stop sneering], thank god i passed today), recess, chem (stupid test on qualitative analysis, its the only topic i hate), then mother tongue (collected some notes, then zao for friday prayers lol).

then after school supposed to have NCC meeting, went to settle the booth for tomorrow's Open House, then went to help with picture selection. i only finished at 5 (sigh). everyone else had gone home, except exco. sigh. then im down for morning duty tomorrow for open house. so sianz...must wake up early...! then i'll be wearing my stuffy No.1 and tolerating parents and potentates. god help me have patience. then tomorrow evening got S4 farewell all the way at changi beach. god above. the other end of the world. tomorrow is gonna be SUCH a busy day. sigh. argh. i havent done my theory homework. sigh. thank god next week's humanities is social studies. i cant stand anymore oxbow lakes and meanders, or headlands and bays, tombolos and spits. whatever. this is already wk 3. common tests are in wk 8. only 5 wks left!! and i still have a stupid bio project left. atherosclerosis...whatever. anyway, that'll be all for now. ttyl. :P

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Forever Etched

Bound by my soul
Chained to my fears
I beg you, I pray,
Release me from my sins

Under the wings of death,
Speeding from this life
Burning in the Light, unhand me from the night

Let go of it all
Don't make me go near you
Let me breathe
I'm dying here alone

Speak to the sky
Never answered
I yearn to, please
Just break my soul

Under the wings of death,
Speeding from this life
Burning in the Light, unhand me from the night

Let go of it all
Don't make me go near you
Let me breathe
I'm dying here alone

Yielding to the pain
Succumbing to
My suffering
Help me see your face
I will see the end,
Etched in every block of stone
Never to be seen,
But always to be heard
Leave with my tears...

Let go of it all
Don't make me go near you
Let me breathe
I'm dying here alone

26th May 2008
Copyright Mikhail




Monday, July 07, 2008

Youth Day...

Yeah yeah, i know, its been ages since the last post. ive been really busy with anniversary parade (ap). seriously. im so glad its over now. anyway, more on that later. had quite a fun youth day today. first, went out with tsao and yohanes to register for my IC, even though im like 3 months late, but who cares. luckily it didnt take too long. then we had lunch after that, and i went home. begrudgingly, i started on what was left of my homework; namely my geog ws, and editing my essay for competition submission. dun ask. then at ard 1345, michael rang me up and told me he was bored. he asked if i wanted to go out. yeah, now u know what to do when you're bored. lol. anyway, i finished up my last sentence, got ready and left to meet him at novena, then headed to orchard, walked ard at taka, wisma, sat down for a frappe at McCafe (yum), then went home. yeah, it was fun. i mean, its always fun when you go out with a friend.

yeah, so that was about it for youth day. oh great, now im rushing cos i wanna catch Chuck at 9. never mind. anyway, AP. u know, all the rehearsals were really screwed up, but i actually had fun during the actual thing itself. amazingly. before that was POP, which was really screwed up. but never mind that. yeah. anyway, im officially taking over now, as seniors. ah, power. now i sound like a megalomaniac. right. anyway, its back to school tomorrow. double mother tongue, god help me. the boredom. thers chem though, thankfully and RME, which is our unofficial slack period. but then, thers also geog and lit tmr. god. we'll see what happens tomorrow.

moving on, what happens when you see perfection all around you? what happens when it seems as if everyone else looked better, or was better in any other way, or EVERY other way? mankind's pursuit of perfection has led to heightened depravity, namely in the form of plastic surgery, rhinoplasty, botox, etc etc. yeah, lets all go and get plastic faces and noses. but anyway, digression aside. for me, seeing perfection all around me everyday hasnt really inoculated me against it, rather it has sensitised me further to it. whether or not you believe it, i do hv a low self-esteem. (yes, stop sniggering, dolt) perfection, perfection, perfection. getting hit in the face with blasts of perfection with the force of an 18-wheeler can be a rather bemusing and to a certain extent, frustrating, experience. now im not going to pretend that oh yes i see that perfection and beauty is only skin deep, and beauty is what lies within, because very simply i cant get myself to believe in it. im not gonna pretend to be humanitarian and pretend to care abt suffering children in 3rd world countries, because im not a saint. im just gonna be a normal, insecure teenager like most others.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

It's been a while. I know I shouldn't have kept u waiting...

Yeah, sry for that. Just had to. anyway, its only the second day of school and i feel so copped out. the first day was actually ok. i mean, i actually got home before sunset, you know. we discovered that we'd have a new timetable. and we got a new co-tutor, and shes our new SS teacher. she's nice. anyway. our bio teacher changed. to my cca teacher; who is like OMG. note the caps. we are so dead. i dun get it. NO one failed bio with my old teacher, but people fail physics and they dun replace our physics teacher. i dun see the logic. generally dont anyway. well, i managed to go home right after TDP, as compared to today. had a terrible timetable, not as bad as tomorrow though; double maths, and triple science. god. had double mother tongue. boredom, and freezing my ass off in the stupid IT centre. anyway, i was trying to escape AP rehearsal today by trying to go for MCS instead, but couldn't, so I had to go for AP. and god above, it was so tiring, i was in long 4, jude tan made us go thru it 3 times, we finished, at 6.30. then had to go back, practice drills, then draw No.1 for this friday's full dress. i only managed to get out of school at abt 7.20. god. and i was so famished, it wasn't funny. then went to have dinner outside, now back home. lucky no homework today. anyway, want to sleep now. prepare for torturous timetable tmr, and a maths test on matrices. at least thats one topic i feel confident in. cyas!

Friday, June 20, 2008

I'm back... (i guess)

Ok, so after a long hiatus of 19 days, I'm finally back! Yes, i know, ur all dying to hear from me. alright then, a brief summary of my holidays so far. regarding the week 2-6 june, it was spent mostly (trying) to finish my work (fruitlessly, i might add) and playing xbox (much more fulfilling). then for the week (or so) from 7-11 june, that was my holiday with my family and we went to east malaysia, namely sabah. i love how i can say i've been to borneo now. but anyway. i had loads of fun actually. i mean, i think, on retrospect, that the best day i had there was when we got out in the morning and headed out to mt K. it was a really long drive and we were in a proton wira, so go figure. anyway, once we finally got there, it was another matter of ascending to the tourist centre at 1500m. right. again, i say, in a rented proton wira. it held up well, though, thank goodness. so anyway, after trekking through a few trails, we decided to move on to the Poring Hot Springs, which are geothermal sulphur (sulfur, jeez) springs formed by tectonic activity (i think). had a dip there ( no idea wat that was supposed to do). so after that, we went on this boardwalk in the rainforest. it was SO cool. i mean, it was suspended 438m above ground level, so of course we had to trek all the way up there. once we finally got there, there was the job of actually traversing all 6 boardwalks, which was so like out of some arcane indiana movie. not that the bridge was rotting and broken, i mean it was sturdy and safe, but still. then after that, we went to see the dear rafflesia flower. my dear science contemporaries, nothing to be envious about. it wasn't that huge, u know, not like what was said in my pals are here. and no rotting stench. sad, huh? but anyway. then it started raining, and so it was getting late, and we wanted to get back to the hotel before dark. right. once we start descending that precipitous peak it starts pouring torrentially, the capricious sabah weather being what it is. again i remind you; rented proton wira. yet despite all the trials and tribulations (oh what a cliche) it still held up. so of course once the inclement weather kicked in, all the disparaging rainclouds started forming and as a result, it got really dark. down a mountain, in heavy rain, in darkness, in wira, with your family. right. talk abt family adventure. as if it ended there. once we actually got off the blessed mountain, it was a matter of finding our way back to the city and then our hotel. needless to say, in all that rain and darkness, we took a wrong turning somewhere and screwed everything up. we ended up near the godforsaken industrial area. so finally, we just decided to follow the posters to 1Borneo, which was their latest supermall ( so obviously, lots of hoo-ha, lucky for us), and eventually got there. by then it was a matter of calling our contacts and asking for directions to the hotel. oh btw all this was done on an empty stomach since our last meal was b'fast. no lunch, just packet snacks. so we decided to go to a drive-thru for dinner. of all the blessed things, a mc's drive-thru. all that suffering for mc's. where is the justice? so yeah, thats the highlight of it. then, from 12-14, had my specialist's course. less said the better. no idea how i survived that. but anyway, im happy, i got my 2nd sergeant. so basically, this whole week (16-19) was spent finishing up the remainder of my holiday hw. i still hv some projects left. but i can complete those when i get back to school. oh, its gonna be so busy this term. i'll have as many AP rehearsals as my CCAs (in the plural, take note), i'll be preparing for my common tests. oh come on. so yeah, i think that that just made up for my 19days' hiatus. enjoy wats left of the holidays!

Sunday, June 01, 2008

More on atheism..

Ever wondered what it would be like living without religion? (obviously for ppl who subscribe to one) being brought up my whole life in the thick of religion, i havent rly considered it till very recently. for those unfamiliar, atheism is either, rejection of existence of gods, or not believing in gods. its a very fine line between the two, and i cant say i fully understand the line. but anyway. what exactly is religion? maybe ppl are right. maybe, it's mankind's way of coming up with a solution for things they cant explain. maybe mankind feels the need to believe in a supreme, divine, omniscient, omnipresent deity. i dunno. i like to think of religion as something man invented to attempt to create a bridge into the so-called divine, if there's one. and to keep ppl in law. i mean, ppl wld definitely be afraid of being 'damned to the eternal fires of hell' and would desire to go to 'the heavenly gardens of eden, to dwell among god himself'. yeah sure. why must we make it so difficult for ourselves? why the need to conjure up intricate religions, to project utterly false facades? why does mankind cling onto something which he cant even prove exists? and he clings on so tightly, willing to let the galaxy burn before his eyes, let the earth die, all for his 'religion'. whatever it is, all i noe is that; if there was a high and mighty god somewhere up there, he wldnt be leaving mankind to stew in this insufferable mess that the world is slowly progressing (or shd i say, regressing) into. why shd we be forced to go through hell on earth? sure, compared to 'eternal hell', wow this world is so damn fine and dandy isnt it? tsunamis, earthquakes, disasters, all striking this world. running out of fuels, everything getting more and more expensive. i dunno how u look at it, but to me, it seems like the world is ending. thank god for tt. im sry to say tt, but yeah tts how i feel.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

the idea of God implies the abdication of human reason and justice; it is the most decisive negation of human liberty, and necessarily ends in the enslavement of mankind, in theory and practice

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Holidays

Well, the semestral holidays have begun. yeah sure, holiday. did anyone see yesterday's (i think) paper? i mean, finally, the issue is brought up. for graduating and near-graduating classes (P5-6, S3-4), the june holidays are not really holidays. instead, they are a further repulsive extension and gross perversion of a school term, with supplementary lessons, cca trainings, courses, camps etc. so what happened to rejuvenation, and relaxation, downtime, time to relax? Hnh. utterly duncical if you ask me. anyway, i cant believe its been a week since i last blogged, and plenty of things have happened in a week. i mean, term's over, holidays started, results in, i've almost finished my gold wings course (ahem, hint, ahem), learning about theory of propulsion, communication systems, aircraft recognition, and god knows what else. five minutes of reading notes OR listening to the listen is enough to put me into a deep hibernation trance, into a catatonic state of stupor. no kidding. i swear, people were sleeping left, right and centre during the lectures. i could barely open my eyes, which is saying something. but anyway. enough with such insignificant, inconsequential trifles. tomorrow is the exam, ive been attempting mug (fruitlessly, i might add) for it to prepare for it so that i don't fail. oh whatever; i'll be happy after 12nn tmr. then, ill be waiting on tenterhooks for specialists' course on 12-14 jun. oh whatever. see what i mean? holidays, and i'm worrying. anywaym, thank god i've finished half of my holiday homework; finished my matrices independent learning yesterday. jus got, ah, 9 more mindmaps. ah, the joy that is mother tongue (insanity). pointless. who learns by mindmaps? i swear i can never learn from them, and they just give me a headache. even better, i wish tony buzan hadn't had some 'brilliant' epiphany and invented it. like its so much of a help. i've been planning to do 2 a day, and 3 on the last day by friday, but i didnt manage, so i thnk it'll hv to drag to saturday. i'll do another 2 tmr, and i think i'll work on simultaneous equations by matrices, then geometric properties of circles (a headache, i assure you). and pride and prejudice is SUCH a drag. anyway, tts all for now. bye!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Results!!!

WELL, i finally received my midyear results today, after an interminable (or so it seemed) wait. sad to say, they are absolutely disappointing, not to mention mortifying. so here goes:

English Language - 70% (A2) [this is the most disappointing mark; stupid markers]
Elementary Mathematics - 95% (A1) [my highest mark. can u believe that?]
Additional Mathematics - 66% (B3) [eurgh. but at least i didnt fail]
Physics - 56% (C5) [the lowest of all my sciences. thank god i still passed, despite not completeing the paper. and almost failing the MCQ]
Chemistry - 78% (A1) [the highest of my sciences. supposedly a good mark. right.]
Biology - 68% (B3) [yet another disappointing mark. despite scoring for MCQ, i failed my Section C]
Higher Malay - 61% (B4) [also very disappointing, i usually get a bit higher]
Full Literature - 74% (A2) [also very disappointing, as lit is one of my fortes]
Combined Humanities, comprising Social Studies - 32% [failed, who cares] & Elec. Geog. - 80% [thank god], which brings the combined mark to 56% (C5)

Average: 69.3%
L1B5 - 12
Mean Subject Grade : 2.89
Class Position: 3rd [can u beat tt? im just as amazed. its the first time ive ever gotten into top3]

so there you have it; my result report for this term, mid year, whatever. i feel so totally depressed. but anyway, whats done is done and cant be undone. so help us God...

Monday, May 19, 2008

Epicurean Gastronomy

Hey guys. just wanted to update abt the vesak wkend. oh rite. Happy Vesak to all celebrating! bit late, but yeah. anyway, exams are over, im free, no homework, ah. what do i do? COOK. and PLAY xbox. hee hee. but im jus updating abt the food part, nvm the xbox haha. i had an absolutely fun time cooking this wkend; cooking is very therapeutic and cathartic for me. but anw, enuf of tt. first off on the list: Lemon Meringue Pie. baked it on yesterday. something which ive always wanted to make, but nvr had the time to. it turned out gorgeous (or so I think), for a virgin attempt. here:
3 different (delicious) views

then for this morning's breakfast, i decided i wanted to have chwee kueh. and yet again (thank god), it turned out so yummy! i enjoy holidays when i can cook :D here:
looks appetising, huh?

last but not least, for lunch: pan-fried dory in butter lemon, with butter and coriander rice. tastes as good as it sounds, seriously. the fish was divine:
ambrosia... (for me!)

anyway, thats all for now, its way past my bedtime. cya all! byee!

p.s. tmr im getting back my results of mid-years. im absolutely terrified. really.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Cool day...

Yesterday was such a cool day. firstly the class was so quiet cos most ppl were out for cbs schools duty, so lit, watch movies, mt, watch movies, bio was THE coolest. our teacher dissected a sheep's heart in class. it was really sick at first, you know, when he came in with a heart (i mean, who comes in with a sheep's heart everyday?),not that the heart was dripping in blood, but it had been treated and refrigerated, so it was only blood coagulation (no, not the map, the condition). at first he was like showing us the external structures, then he was warily donning gloves to dissect it laterally, but gave up. in the end, he ripped of the gloves and used his bare hands to dissect the thing. the thing is, being a mammalian heart, its VERY similar to our own heart, and we actually got to see what it looks like in your heart. and it was amazingly accurate, in line with our textbook. so yeah, then (being the sadistic ppl we are), we set about mutilating the heart, ripping the valves, tearing up the chordae tendineae, sticking our fingers up the aorta, the vena cava, pulmonary artery, pulmonary vein. we really played with that heart. haha. we got some pictures of it, and i have one with my finger stuck up the aorta. it was so cool.
yep, thats my finger right there, up the aorta, i cant remember whos pointing at it. but anyway.a cool pic too, more detailed (interior of heart)

an even cooler pic, as you can see, theres no blood really

so anyway, yeah, that was very nice. then after that, had EL, went thru exam paper answers, then maths, then we were dismissed early, cos there was mass run yest, all the way at Bedok Reservoir Park. Can you beat that? I fell asleep in the bus! which, for me, is quite an achievement. anyway, 4.25km was so tiring. lol, im unfit, ok? anyway, we had to run the perimeter of the reservoir, which i found out, is quite huge actually. but nvm that, what matters is that i completed the thing in half an hour, which was my intended goal, so yeah i was happy. anyway, tts all for tonight, im exhausted. thnk god next monday is a public holiday, but next tuesday is doomsday; we're getting our marks back. so yeah, it'll be apocalyptic. hope i survive pompeii... cya!


Saturday, May 10, 2008

End of exams, for now...

YES!!! Exams are finally over. no more mugging, no more memorising about logarithms, or ventricular systoles and diastoles, or stoichiometry or moments! at least for another 4 months or so. ah well. anw. i jus got back from NCC camp. yeah well, now i know what hell on earth is. nvm. less said, the better. but...last friday was also m BIRTHDAY! of cos, i spent it having a stressed lunch with my family, and finally topping off the whole fiasco by going for the camp itself, where we only got to sleep at 0130, then...nvm. digression aside, i couldn't even think about my birthday that day. in fact, i just had my birthday 'cake' today. just cut it just now with fam. it was heavenly. it was worth the hell. heres some pix. ignore the vapid expression and smile on my face, its a result of the camp. anw i LOVE the icing on the cake! its gorgeous; i was downright loath to mutilate it. my parents decided to take a different tack this year, and instead of the usual cake, they got this 'cookie cake' from Mrs.Fields, and yup, its totally divine. haha. well, tmr is mother's day. hope what im planning goes off tmr. it seldom does haha. but anw. heres going out to every mother out there, to hold on, be strong and never give up, while continuing to shine like the perpetual stars they were born to be, imbued with a fiery spark. cheers!

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

more mid years

So. so far ive had higher malay, physics, eng p2, chemistry, since i last wrote. higher malay always was going to be screwed up for me. even if it was only cloze passage, compre and summary. whatever. but i swear, physics was hell on earth. general consensus; we're all going to fail, and personally, it'll be a miracle if i pass physics at all. typical. so forget physics...well, as for english paper 2 today, it was very manageable for a mid-year paper; i expected more arcane, archaic (ooh, assonance) words. but thank god anyway. then there was chem. for once, i thought, something went right. at least i didnt struggle with the MCQ, the open-ended sections were all very doable, thank our lucky stars. so overall, still salvageable, i think. tmr is a double whopper with cheese; amaths and bio. two very heavy-duty subjects. which is why im blogging instead of revising right? haha. nah im just taking a break. going back to revision right after this. seriously. after tmr, the worst is over. on thurs, its just social studies and elec geog. then its over!!! on thurs finish at 1000, so cool. ill b home early. haha. anw, back to revision now. still got amaths, after bio. logarithms, modulus, exponential equations, quadratic inequalities. right. fun

Friday, May 02, 2008

Mid-years...

God, it's been ages since i last posted. ive been so busy. revising. work. homework. u name it. finally, today is the beginning of the period of the 'moment de veritas'. had emaths and full lit today. thankfully, emaths was doable. theoretically, ive lost only 5-6 marks. theoretically. right. we'll see my results in a fortnight. i hope. unfortunately, lit was a little difficult today. as usual, blanked out with quotes and resorted to analysis most of the time. whatever. after that, had physics remedial, because the class is so desperately in need of physics enlightenment. oh yeah, during the emaths paper, i experienced another epiphany during the last 10min, which enabled me to answer a sub-question properly, and subsequently, full marks for that question. the stupid equation was so confusing. like i was supposed to know its (40/v+5)...anyway, thats done, so yeah. 2 down, 8 to go. sigh. next monday is malay and physics. tues is chem. this weekend must mug for phy & chem. as it is, i'm not really not looking forward to the end of exams, because on the friday immediately after end of exams (they end next thurs) i hv NCC camp, overnight. worst part; it's on my BIRTHDAY!!! i'm irate. i thought i cld at least celebrate my birthday this year, but no, if its not exams, its CCA. the life im destined to lead. whatever. ive also started on To Kill A Mockingbird, even though I'm only doing that next year for lit. its rather interesting. anyway, ill see if i can actually post anymore. byes.,.,.,

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

long day...

had SUCH a long day today. i swear i cldnt keep awake. i was nodding off to sleep during the first period of the day; elec geog. can u blame me? what with her talking abt green revolutions and blue revolutions and god only noes wat else. next period was full lit. thnk god it was slack. after tt was bio, did leaf structure (so many things in one thin leaf) then had maths. started on standard deviation; so fun. thnk god i read up 2 nights ago. can u believe it? i actly read up on the thing and its formula before bed. yes i was reading a maths textbook for bedtime reading. freaky. after recess was rme. religious meditation for 50min. SLACK. haha. then had physics. thnk god im sitting at the front now. i actly managed to follow the lesson. im so happy. then had our fave lesson; english!! slacked even more, finished up our centre spread for a fictitious magazine. then after that rushed for MALAY oral. counted for mid years. OMG, i swear i just failed it. i mean, ok , reading was ok, but conversation was ATROCIOUS... then ther was one qn; setujukah kamu dengan pernyataan 'berunding dengan kawan lebih senang daripada berunding bersama ibu bapa'? and i was like, WTH is berunding??? luckily, as we went along, (after one prompt) i managed to guess it. haha. then went for mcs. then cldnt drum cos ther was eng oral going on. diao. (sry mo) slacked ard till 4.15. then had to discuss stuff with teacher, until about 5pm. then on the way home, kena rain. lucky not so bad. also lucky no homework. can relac a bit. anw till next time.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Fun day...

ah what a fun day today. no lessons; cos its Founder's Day today, basically all prize-giving day. so tt was quite sian, and being packed worse than sardines in the hall is murder on the legs. cld barely stand after tt. =.=" then after tt, supposed to hv founder's day relay (not that im running, of cos; i mean, im slower than a retarded snail, and tts saying smthn), but it was cancelled. go figure. hten left for HWA for our last visit therewe spent like, the first 15min standing ard, looking stupid haha, cos we were all supposed to socialise, but no one really knew how to start. in the end, we ended up playing games with the denizens there; i ended up playing ball games, and putting up free circus shows with mike, haha. then no one wanted to play anymore, so we played amongst ourselves lol. and started playing dodgeball. sigh. typical. fun, though. then when we dismissed, me and mike rushed back to my place; we played halo 2 for like, about 3 hrs. dam fun ah. play co-op, then PvP, then co-op again. then after last lvl, mike had to leave so yeah. but tt was jus cutting a long story short. haha. in more ways than one. anw, had loads of fun today. unfortunately, i dunno if im even allowed to enjoy it. i mean, i keep feeling like im living and having fun on this 'borrowed' time, you know, and im not sure if im even entitled to have that time. i dunno, its just so confusing, and i cant be bothered to sort it out. anw, its back to the grindstone tmr, then after sch going all e way to Tuas, to go visit the Times Printing Plant (excursion). god, its gonna be another long day tmr. sigh. so what else is new? then this friday CCA photo-taking, gonna hv to get ready my uniform, then BRING it to school, AND i have training on that day. figures. anw, well see how this week goes. anw.

Saya mengucapkan salam tahniah kepada Pasukan Bahas SJI atas kejayaan mereka menuju ke peringkat separuh-akhir dalan Peraduan Bahas Berita Harian tahun ini. Perlawanan mereka yang kedua akan diadakan pada hari Sabtu akan datang, 12hb April, 10.00pg, di Auditorium Masjid Sultan. mereka akan menghadap RGS dalam pusingan ini, dan saya mengucapkan semoga berjaya pada hari SAbtu akan datang ini. SJI!

Friday, April 04, 2008

My (not very pro) piano playing...

video

Nothing special, just me playing Evanescence's 'Your Star', off their latest album, The Open Door. Hope you all like it. (heres e original song if u wanna hear :D - http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSx1RJRtxLE)

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Youth>adults or adults>youth? (human inequalities)

ok think abt this; how many times hv u heard an adult say " listen to me, cos im older, and ive got more experience in life" ? seriously. ok. do u thnk its true? i mean, ok sure u mite hv lived longer than me, god only knows, but hey just because we're young doesnt mean were idiots right? i mean, i ttly hate it when someone passes judgment based on my age, and that happens quite frequently, as im sure some ppl will agree with me. i mean, what right hv they to say that, oh im older and cleverer, whereas ur childish and dumb? absolutely none. if u recently read the ST, Tuesday, 1st april, you wld hv read tt more Ivy League varsities are taking in more and more under-18s. imagine studying for a varsity degree at sec4. i mean, sure, not everyone is a wunderkind, but i mean, just the fact tt teens tt young can actly qualify for uni, is like, whoa. and i draw ur attn again to the fact that adults are in political power in this world; heads of govts, at the forefronts of superpowers, lording it out over the world, proclaiming victory, waging war, while the workd beneath their feet crumbles to ash. look where we are today; the world seems like its ending, violence is widespread, war is even more rampant, countries tear themselves apart thru civil unrest. and things go on like that, lasting for what seems like an eternity to those who suffer. yet to them, life can be extinguished in a blink of an eye. ok sure u can say tt im doing nthn abt it, tt im seating lazily on my comfy ass, complaining abt the heat in s'pore. and i wld say tt u do hv a point. but again i say, even if we had the power to do anything, wld we b able to actly present our paradigms, our ideas, our ideologies to the world, and be allowed to apply them, without being convicted and sentenced due to, oh, say treason? with the current ppl in power? fat hope. seriously. cos u see, these ppl cling on so dearly to power and are blinded by their lust for it. their insatiable appetite to be the first in everything, doesnt really benefit the world. cos everything tts done, is done purely for the sake of the country's (read govt) welfare. who cares abt poverty and famine, and all the rest of tt nonsense? y shd we give a damn? its not as if we inflicted it upon them. and so you see the mentality im driving at. but of cos, im not saying tt all politicians are cruel and backstabbing weasels, but what im trying to say is, is it really better to hv old hands in govt? ppl who love power, who love the way things are run, and are adamantly reluctant to change cos it cld mean their end? perhaps they are scared that the next generation will usurp their places before our time? and for who is it to decide when its our time? ourselves. not them , not anyone else. cos we dun owe anyone in this world a living. i hv no doubts tt the next generation will rise, greater than before, presenting solutions to seemingly inexplicable problems today, but will we ever be given the chance to make tt day a reality? as rightly and aptly stated by a few authors:

'age is foolish when it underestimates youth'
' children are getting smarter'

Project Scubilion


so on monday went for proj scubilion, which is this sch initiative thing for community services. so my class went to handicapped welfare assosc. it was already like our 3rd out of 4th trip there, so we decided to do more cleaning, since not many of us were so adept at, uh, socialising. anw, spent most of our time there cleaning chairs; ther were loads, but with more than enuf hands on board, we got it all done, so ya. tts just a small fraction of the chairs we had to clean. of cos, stick MO had to get into the picture. heard tt, mike? anw, no idea what got into me; i was scrubbing chairs like there was no tomorrow! it was hilarious, and some guys actly asked me if i was ok. and i thot, do i really look tt bad? lol. guess so. no idea, it was like, i was subsuming myself in the elbow grease. rite. lovely thought. then after tt, went for lunch at square 2 (more unhealthy food, sigh), then walked to US, cos we thought of getting some macs ice cream (more health problems), but of cos, the only time we want ice cream, the god-blessed machine is out of order. =.=" then walked ard challenger, cos mike wanted to get a mic (lol, the irony) but in the end, didnt get one. so we just walked ard then went home. fun...

Sunday, March 30, 2008

A new year...

My first post for this new year of 2008. a new year, new friends, new class, new subjects, new everything. anyway, wat better way to open the new year than with...food! im such a gourmet (remember that?). anw made sum popiah today, cant rmbr how many ive devoured haha. pix enclosed. anw tts it for now i guess. sch has been almost nightmarish in a way, with loads of work and commitments. whatever. we'll see. well, catch ya'll later.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Food!



hey, ppl! wassup? i noe i havent been writing for ages, but ive been totally busy with other things, tt hv jus taken my mind off everything, even blogging. anw, i jus wanted to post a few of my gastronomic delights i enjoyed recently, being my gluttonous self as usual, haha. so here are the pix, they look gd enough to be eaten, i noe. thers donut factory (finally, bought a DOZEN), then theres homemade gyoza, which i made ( i finished them off myself, hee hee).

Monday, November 19, 2007

What's been happening...

Well, its been a wk since i last posted; and a lot has happened in the past week. last tuesday to wednesday, for instance, i was away at a leadership camp in pulau ubin. survived, haha. um, well, what can i say? oh right, last friday was my posting results; they're what i asked for, so no complaints. i got into 333, and got all my humanities options. pure sciences. which means im cleared to take 9 subjects for O level. god, i hv no idea how im gonna cope next year, its gonna be so stressful, with studies, and CCA, and other commitments. sigh. well, ill get thru it somehow. i spent yest trying to do some homework. managed to finish my english essay, thank god. then, did one (1) exercise of maths (screw maths, ill be taking double maths next year...), but ive still got a lot of maths left, and my MT project. so sian. then today is my London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art (LAMDA) examination. its basically oral communication. even more SIAN. gotta talk for like, 3min. then gotta hv a convo with the examiner on two topics. guess what i chose? global warming, and s'pore's education system. sigh. so boring. but what to do? hmph, were almost thru the month of november. i still havent bought my books. or my uniform. dunno when. im such a slacker. haha.

Monday, November 12, 2007

LA Photos





yeah, i know its a bit late, abt 5 mths late, but here are my more, um, famous, pix/vids of being in Los Angeles.


video

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Jalan raya with my malay class frens



we had our jalan raya today. as you know, from the previous post, i woke up at the crack of dawn to get home in time, then i so kancheong, reach meeting pt at 9.50, wen we supposed to meet at 10.20. wah, sianz. then, wait for them all, we only got going at 11. went to my hse first, as usual, ate roti jala/tirai/kirai whatever u wanna call it. then, went to sembawang, had finger foods, then went to choa chu kang, then i left them. cldnt tahan, i was just too sleepy and tired. u know every opportunity i had, i kept sleeping. haha. in the train, in the bus, stoning. seriously, i had a lack of sleep from the chalet. my eyes were red sumtimes, and i was so blur. lol. then after that, went home, from choa chu kang to novena, 40min, i slept, banged my head against the glass, mouth hanging open. haha. i was just so exhausted, drained. then got home, got guests.wah. help serve them. lucky never drop anything. then, after that, i got on my com, blogging, chatting. but half our journey time is for travelling. its seriously inefficient la, but as students without alternate forms of transport, we are forced to go with the flow. but it really wastes a lot of time. but i had fun, though it wasnt like last yr, when i finished at ard midnight. but still, it was great.

Class Chalet

my class chalet was so fun! this is the last year ill be with my S2 class, cos of streaming(boo) and well be split up into diff classes next yr. so then, this is like, our last gathering together as a class. it was so cool. we met in the morning, at pasir ris mrt stn, the whole grp of ard 28 of us, haha, then most of them went off first to the chalet, but i was waiting for two of my frens. so then, once they came, we had to find our way to the chalet area. omg, i swear if i can get lost in singapore, i really suck la. haha. but yeah, we got lost. we walked from pasir ris mrt to pasir ris park, circled the whole park, got tired, backtracked back to mrt stn, went the other way and tried to take the shuttle bus to costa sands pasir ris. so, were waiting there, but its an hourly shuttle, and it was baking hot, there wasnt a single soul apart from us; scary sia. then we decided that we'd take a cab, since it was so near. so we got there with like $3, so each person paid like, $1. then, we found the rest of our class, they played soccer(i dont), then went for lunch. since i wasnt having lunch, i stayed back with my friend to guard the bags, but i swear, it was so hot, i wanted to sleep so badly. walao, my other frens go lunch like, damn long ah. waited like, god knows how long. even though downtown east was just like 5min walk away. then, once they (finally) got back, the chalet was open, so we collected the keys, and settled down. after that, some of us(me included) went cycling. crazy. i went on a tandem bike with my fren, but i didnt know he was a daredevil cyclist la. i was like, cowering in the back seat, squealing and shouting warnings, haha. now i look back it was hilarious. but then, we slipped into mud, and fell, slid a bit. incredibly, my fren didnt get a single scratch on him, but i got an abrased arm, and a scraped knee, which is currently inconveniencing me. anyway, apart from that, my phone's screen also cracked. can u beat that? must have fell ON it, i presume. wah, damn suay leh. then, we biked, played at the playground(all got deprived childhoods one), until like, 5. then dropped off our bikes, went back to the chalet. then, i discovered the rest who didnt go cycling had gone shopping at DE, then some went swimming to cool down from cycling. then, after resting, at around 5.45, BBQ committee started lugging stuff to BBQ pit to start BBQing. thanks to my fren la, he got a marvellous fire going. in fact, he did it over-marvellously, haha. but i doubt we'd have been able to eat anythn without him in the first place. nice one! anyway, we started BBQing, all the way into the night, then our form teacher arrived, then ,we all like, ate and had fun la. then, like half of them went lan, then we were there, just a handful, chatting and eating. then some of them came back, then started filling water bombs. then those who came back late kena. it was so funny.i stood miles away. lol. then, after cleanup, they wanted to go to Ben &Jerry's for ice cream, but by the time we got there, it was already closed, so we had to settle for macs instead. had a vanilla cone, as usual. chatted. then, after that, went back to chalet. prepared for 'bed'. but we blared music, sang along, talk cock. as usual. i was up till like, 2 somethin in the morning, almost 3. then, fell asleep, then woke up at 6am, cos i had to leave earlier to go jalan raya with my friends after that. i barely got enuf sleep. but anyway, it was totally fun! i definitely enjoyed myself!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

wacky wednesday

my wacky wednesday in question was on the 24/10. i was supposed to work on my portfolio. oh btw, i was shortlisted for the english language Talent Development Programme(TDP) in my school, which is like, an elite programme for the creme-de-la-creme in that particular subject. i was also shortlisted for maths/physics combo, but i'd already made up my mind. follow my interests and passion. so yeah, under my name, we had our interview times, but mine said nil, which meant i didn't need to go for an interview. ok. but the notice told us to submit our portfolio during interview. so i wondered, how to submit if no interview? ok maybe hand to school office. so i go to school. oh btw, after i filled up my form the previous night, i lost it. nvm, it was wrong anyway. then i go to school, get a new form, then i remember im supposed to fill in my marks, and i forgot to bring my report bk. so, my dad had to like, send me home (thank god im 15min from sch), i ran up, filled in the form, then dashed back down, back to school, went to the office and submitted my form. and heres the best part: apparently when u dun nd to go for an interview, u also dun nd to submit ur portfolio. and i wasted my life on my portfolio, meticulously photocopying my best pieces, hunting for them through the tunnels of time. god, they shd hv been more specific. wldn't hv killed them, wld it? idiots. so i wasted my wednesday morning, running back and forth.

last day of school

the last day of school was the day after ace camp, the 23rd of october. and what a crazy and hectic day it was. i swear, everything was out of order. report cards were still wrong, reprinting left , right and centre. everything was just disorganised. i was running here and there, fulfilling my last official day as chairman. haha. it was crazily fun, if u get that. anyway, i finally got my report card back.
















anyway, i guess i could say im ok with my results. im not exactly satisfied with them, but my parents said its ok, so i guess it is. picture uploading screwing up. great. anyway, yeah ok la. after that day ended, i went with some frens to far east to eat kfc haha, then went home. it was fun enuf. god only knows wat i did after that, it was like, a week ago.

ACE Camp

omg, ace camp was so fun!! it rocked. seriously.ok so anyway, it was held in Kluang, Johor. so this is supposed to be an adventure camp right? damn right it was! so many cool activities. first, we had rafting. totally screwed. haha. at least our raft didn't disintegrate the moment it touched the water, and we managed to get 2 ppl on, but then someone overbalanced it, the whole thing tipped over, and then disintegrated. but it doesnt matter, no one else from our group managed it. but then we had water crossing. not river crossing, cos technically the water was still cos it was a small man-made pool. but it was so fun. though my arms ached like hell after that. that was the only activity for Day 1, since we arrived in the afternoon.

Day 2- morning: trekking! yeah! we trekked up Gunung Lambak (glory, glory Gunung Lambak). i swear to god, even though it was so tiring, it was so FUN. i cant believe that i, totally unfit slob of the 21st century that i am, managed to get to the top of that 510m hill! omg, i was so proud of myself. sad sia, wat an achievement in life, haha. who cares? in ur face, Bukit Timah. haha. but the descent of gunung lambak, now that was just pure fun. ok picture this; im in fingerless gloves (male version of lara croft), sliding down the hill. i felt so adventurous. i didn't care at all; all i wanted was to have fun recklessly. i didn't care abt my safety; i jumped, slid, ziplined down ropes. everything. i loved it. but then, on my way down, the sole of my right shoe came off. i was laughing my head off. oh btw, i was holding in a stomach full of faeces, trying my very best not to launch any projectiles onto the gunung. so imagine sliding down a gunung, with ur ass full of shit, a sole coming off, trying not to open your butt too much. haha. anyway, once we were done, i rushed to the toilet facility, which was like, loads cleaner than the one at my campsite, and answered nature's um, incessant calls. ok then, i actually fell asleep in the bus on the way back to the campsite. (cool gloves huh?)

afternoon: abseiling/prusiking
then in the afternoon, had abseiling/prusiking. dunno what that is? ok, abseiling- going down, prusiking - going up. it was so totally fun. but we only abseiled one floor down.pathetic. it was so fun. i abseiled like, 3 times. haha.

Day 3- morning: kayaking
omg, do u noe when was the last time i kayaked? like, last year, for kayaking contact time. it was the furthest ive kayaked so far. my arms were burning. my palms were sore. god. and my stupid kayak kept veering to one side! so energy consuming. not to mention time-wasting. i just thank god we didn't have to capsize.
- afternoon: jungle survival
god, don't even bother putting me in a jungle. seriously. i'd just die. we could barely construct a shelter, made some tent looking thing, which my teacher said was a 'basha' or something like that. what the heck is a basha? don't ask me. he said it was the most common form of shelter used in the army. right. ok. whatever. never mind getting a fire started. barely got sparks. as for water? huh, drink ur own urea ppl. haha. as for field cooking? i just thank god i didn't get diarrhoea after what i ate.

Day 4- morning: orienteering
it was so slack. it was the last day, also, so we had a totally slack activity. haha. i pitied those souls climbing gunung lambak on their last day.anyway, it was totally fun. i mean, we won! and cos we won, we got to water-bomb the rest, as well as teachers. it was so fun. haha. we got a packet of M&M's, a sewak, something like a natural toothbrush, go and wikipedia it. then, it was time to go home. finally!!! i'm going home, to a place where i belong. anyway, i was so happy to be going home. ok, so i cant survive out of home a long time. ah heck. so what.

anyway, all that mattered was that i had loads of un at the camp. esp with my friends, my S2 class, with whom I'll be parting ways at the end of this year, cos of our streaming. sad. i totally had fun with them, which was the main objective of the camp. so, for my part, i can say that the camp was a resounding success. but i swear, if i can help it, im not going to be sleeping in anymore flooded, half-collapsed tents. hahaha. over and out!

p.s. check out the ace booklet.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri bagi semua umat Islam

Selamat hari raya aidilfitri kpd semua umat Islam di serata dunia. semoga hari raya kamu dicucuri rahmat dan diberkati Allah swt. kpd semua juga, maaf zahir dan batin, mohonkan segala senggeta2 lama, jika terkasar bahasa, ampun maaf dipinta. kpd semua, Minal Aidin Wal Fa'izin!

eve of Raya...

so, today is the eve of raya. still had to go to sch. u know what we did in sch today? well, lets see, first went to the hall, where, trust me, i froze my posterior off. why? well, there was to be our ACE camp (adventure camp) preps, and seriously, they were a waste of time. that idiot kenneth khoo kept shouting his head off at us, going ''OI!!!" every 5 seconds. sheesh, isnt tt just annoying? i jus wanted to slap him. i hate teachers who are (prigs) SO self-righteous, as if every single student owed them a living. anyway, filled up white forms (our camp's in Kluang), created customised ID tags, you know, that was all we did from, um, 8am till, 11.30. with half an hour of recess, during which i played piano for a while. luckily, not many ppl ard to listen to my playing. jus two of my frens. anyway, we were supposed to get back our hist marks today, but no, it's still not ready. the only reason i came to sch today was to get my hist marks, and to finalise everything. but no, none of that. if i'd known, i wldnt hv come at all! what a waste of my life! when i cld hv been at home sleeping. at first, we didn't know muslim boys cld go home slightly earlier, ard 11.30. so my friends and me were grumbling, and complaining, as usual. haha. but then, they suddenly told us that muslim, oh u can go now. and i was like, ok cool. i waited for my frens, then left asap. whoo hoo.

exam results..

omg, i finally got back my exam results. i swear, when they were being given out yesterday, i nearly died. the fearful anticipation of knowing ur marks, the tangible suspense, all contributed to the atmosphere, which i must say, was less than enjoyable. waiting for one result after another was so agonising. i jus wanted everything over and done with asap. but no, we hv to wait for specific timeslots. like it matters anyway, were still gonna get them back arent we? stupidity and mismanagement are so rampant, and they dun make a perfect match either. anyway, here are the results. only got history left, which those slowpokes haven't finished marking. typical.

eng - 82 (A1)
maths - 75 (A1)
sciences - 85 (A1)
higher malay - 65 (B3) [damn...]
geog - 68 (B3) [damn...]
lit - 80 (A1)
hist - ???

ill only find out my hist marks next tues. how annoying...waiting with bated breath. anyway, that makes my class position second, i think, with an average percentage of 75.8%, with an L1B5 of...10. screw. haha. but anyway, im quite happy with them, at least all my efforts paid off. u reap what u sow, right?

Sunday, October 07, 2007

marking days holiday next week..

thank god there's gonna be 2 marking days next week, on tuesday and wednesday. on tuesday, going to a friend's house to settle my class's end-of-year gathering. chalet. wow, original. haha. this is what u gotta do when you're class chairman. this responsibility thing is getting to me, as much as i like it, though. but heck, who cares? i love saying that. lol. i don't think i'm going anywhere on wednesday. gonna slack boringly at home again. omg, i'm gonna get back my results back on thursday. im fricking scared. that i failed every thing. or what if i don't get into a top class? or even a triple-science class? ah well, no use saying all that now. you reap what you sow.

preps for hari raya...

god, i haven't made any preparations for raya at all. no new clothes, no kueh (soon though, they're being baked as i write). it's like, in 6 days, and i'm like, so relaxed. i mean, we haven't even made ketupat. can u beat that? my room is still in a mess, haha. i haven't bothered cleaning it up. who cares? plenty of time, right? i am such a typical teen.

puasa

guess what? today's the 25th day of puasa. i can't believe it. i barely felt it going by this year. haha. cool. but i did feel really exhausted during my schooling time, much more so than ever. ah well, getting older eh? no chance. haha. you wish. i can't believe that hari raya is in 6 days!!! i just gotta struggle through my 3-day week tomorrow, then it's raya! finally, can eat and drink like normal again. go visiting, collect money. no lah, just joking. but not the food & drink part though. omg, today is just stretching...i can't believe it's only 1. still another six hours before buka puasa (break fast).

bored...slacking..

so, since my exams are over, what have i been doing? nothing, absolutely nothing. i've been slacking the house, reading, sleeping, irritating everyone as i always do. my fave hobby haha. singing to my fave songs, letting out stress. hey, what can i say? i'm finally free, after 2 years. at least, for a while. anyway, just 2 days of slacking, and i'm getting bored already. imagine, about 3 months more of slacking...XD god knows what i'll do. i tried playing computer. gave up. tried playing xbox. gave up too. haha. i can't do anything fun since i'm fasting. no running, no playing, no cycling, no exercise. so sian...

hi..

Hi..i know its been ages since i last wrote in, to be exact, 4 months, but yeah, i've been really busy. mostly with school. maybe with personal matters. whatever. still, it's a relief to be writing again. so, what's been up these past 4 months? well, let's see, i've actually finished my final-year-exams, yeah that's basically it. pathetic, huh? yeah well, that's my life, mundane, boring, monotonous. so i've been told. so anyway, my exams just ended on friday, 5th october. after that, me and a few of my friends (11 people in all...a few...right) went to orchard road to hang out and just chill. we went to watch balls of fury. ok, i guess it made sense to watch a mindless, frivolous movie after exams. rather mediocre, with several funny moments, with numerous crude connotations. what can i say, it's eponymous, haha. i'll leave that to you to interpret it as u want. but anyway, walking down orchard road, we got stalked by this mentally unstable guy, and we all ran like we were being chased by death itself. i swear, i've never seen us all run that fast. when we look back, it's so hilarious. add to that, i was fasting. by the time we'd escaped, i was heaving with stitches. haha. i had so much fun. u go guys! 206!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Hey from LA, and I Saw freaking Hollywood Celebs!

Hey all! LA is really great, and guess what? It wasn't a 18-hour flight, but only a 16-hour one, which was quite enough for me, actually. The weather here is quite cool, even though it's summer, it's much cooler thatn back home, duh! And everything here is exactly like you see in the movies, haha, you know like when you watch those American movies? Yeah, it's just like that. You know, Hollywood, Beverly Hills 90210, Universal Studios, Kodak Theatre. Anyway, I jsut wanted to write in. Today was the premiere for the movie Ocean's Thirteen here, and the premiere was near Kodak Theatre, which those of you who watch American Idol will know is where the finals were held. So, anyway, at the premiere, you know all the movie cast come, as well as other celebs to watch the movie first, right? And I was freaking there. And guess who I saw. Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, Ellen Barkin, Andy Garcia, Cindy Crawford. I swear to God, I was at a Red Carpet event, less than 5 metres from these celebs, and I had pics, but only of the first 4 ppl mentioned above. But anyway, today is like, THE most interesting day of my life, adn I'll try to post e pics when I'm back. Till then, Ciao! As I'm writing this, it's 2.20am, LA time, and 5.20pm SGT. Cool, huh?

Friday, June 01, 2007

I'm Going!

ok , tis is my las post b4 i go, i managed 2 get a free terminal at e airport. so, ive inly got 5 mins 2 post tis, so i jus wanna say, bb, n ill miss home, and evry1 tc k. i noe tis is gonna b a short one, my dad already bugging me, so , to all my frens, ill b back! God bless!

My Last Post

Ok ppl, this is my last post before I leave for the States later. Well, my hand luggage is packed, everything's ready, and just need to go. Oh wow, I can't believe it's here so fast already. I mean, in a day's time, I'll be across the world on the other side, in the US. I always have mixed feelings about going on holidays, no matter how short, because on one hand, yes I'm excited to go on holiday, but on the other hand, I'm also afraid and reluctant to leave home behind. I guess it's because of my insecurity but hey, whatever. So, yeah, whatever it is, I'll just go and enjoy myself. It's gonna be my first trip there, it's lovely summer with cool temperate temperatures. So, though I may freeze up a bit, I've yet to experience winter in US/Europe, so I can barely say anything, you know, unlike some people I know. You know, the sole reason I would go on a trip is just to get the experience and at least say of myself that hey, I've been there, done that, know what it feels like. Right? And no, it's not showing off or anything, but stating a fact (in my opinion). So, I guess that's it, take care everyone, I'll try to bring back souvenirs, if I can. Oh ya, the broke student saying that, hahaha. Ok then, bb!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Pirates 3...Savvy?


Ok, who hasn't seen Pirates 3? Omg, you've got to go and see it. It's simply marvellous. I mean, seriously, I was expecting something along the lines of the previous movie, but I was utterly disappointed; the movie was excellent in the sense that it tied up all the loose ends of the previous movie, which if you'll agree with me, was left hanging. Secondly, all the SFX were spectacular. And I really mean that; ILM has done it again, and have added another fantastic production under their belt. Well, it was totally worth the $7 I paid for it, I will say that. I know to some people, the plot can be a little difficult to follow with, but just watch the previous one again, or try to remember as much of what happened before this, and you should be fine. For a more detailed review, please visit my Multiply site, on the links to the right-hand side of the page. Thank you!

I Got My Bags Packed, Baby, And I'm Ready To Go...

I Got My Bags Packed, Baby, And I'm Ready To Go, ok enough with the song, but seriously. Yeah, remember how I said I hadn't packed a single thing? Well, REMARKABLY, I've finished packing my clothes, and I've finally got (most of) a whole bag to myself! I mean, yeah, ok nothing fun, but gives a sense of ownership haha. It's also called a sense of security, which I always need, since I'm a highly insecure person. Don't ask me why. Well, the weather was ok today, and by "ok", I mean rainy, cloudy, dark. Yes, I mean what I said. I'm usually a dark person, as I've said before, and thunderstorms just delight me. But anyway, gone to get all the last-minute stuff there is to get for the trip, will pack it in later, and voíla, my bags are PACKED! So, tomorrow, pack up toiletries, whatever that needs packing, then it's off to the airport! And then, the 21-hour flight...right.

Discoveries...

You know, I have no idea why it is that when you are actively searching for something, you can never find it, yet when you don't need it, it's always staring you in the face. I know it's just one of life's minor problems, but it can get really annoying, in my opinion. Some people enjoy being irritated, if you can believe it. Well, from what I know, most of the general population doesn't. That includes me. Take for example, when I was at Vivo yesterday, I wanted to got to Nike, to get a water bottle, but when I got there, I just couldn't find the godforsaken shop! I mean, I hunted like a mad hound in Vivo, turned every corner there was to turn, took every escalator there was to take and still didn't find it. Finally, out of desperation (and wanting to look like a streetwise teen, not a stranded tourist), I consulted the directory. Remember a few posts back when I remaked on Vivo's upgraded signage? Well, glad to say that it did help me find my shop, though that was after a few glances, and a very, very tiring, breathless hunt through Vivo. Amazing, actually, how I saw every other shop there was to see, but Nike. I swear. Yet, that day when I went out with my friends, we seemed to walk past Nike so often. I guess that's what you call life, isn't it? Fine then, if life wants to be that way, what can I do? Right??

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

USA..

God, I can't believe I'll be going to US this Friday! First time there, lol. Whatever it is, I'm so looking forward to 20 days in the US, having fun, being frozen maybe, but still having fun, haha. Don't worry, I'll bring back photos, tonnes of them, of that you can be assured. For this trip, I'm so in total control of the camera. I'll try to post there if I can, but I'm really doubtful. I'll keep a journal, so I can relate my experiences first-hand. Ok? One thing I'm dreading, though, is the 21-hour flight from here to there. I don't know how many movies I can watch, how many books I can finish, how many times I can fall asleep and wake up, and still not arrive. My plan: 1- load up my Creative Zen V Plus with my whole library, 2- get a new book at the airport ( a thick one). I doubt if even that will take care of a quarter of the flight, if I'm lucky. Damn, I was supposed to research on San Francisco, I haven't even started. Come to think of it, I haven't even packed! Haha, probably gonna spend tomorrow's PH to pack. BTW, Happy Vesak Day! Ok lah, enough for tonight. I'm damn sleepy already; was running all over the island today on errands. SO sian. Anyway, good night!

Back To...Business!

After a very, very long hiatus of exactly 5 months since my last post, I'm glad to say that I'm officially back in business. Just one thing; don't expect daily posts, because firstly, I'll be going to the USA on Friday, for 20 days. If I can blog there, I certainly will. Secondly, school has taken both a physical and mental strain on me and so, I will have other priorities before my blog. Though rest assured, that whatver I write on my blog is ever-frank, and I'm (as you'll find out) a very opinionated person. Haha, just take it. Whatever it is, I'm glad that I was able to re-claim this blog, because I had some technical difficulties trying to get it back just now, which means, new-comers, you can read my very first post, up till now. Have fun!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Net almost back 2 normal...




Conrad Centennial Singapore

ok ok, who has been 2 conrad centennial? omg i jus did yest, n wow was it a hotel! no wonder it always has full occupancy! it was really a grand as anythin hotel. its rated 6*, u noe, n i ate ther yesterday!!! <screech> e food ther is excellent, truly befitting of its 6* status. even a plate of salad was so sedaaap! n then e decor in e hotel was jus so tasteful n amazing! n they only take e best of everything. seriously, if uve never been ther, uve got 2 go ther once in ur life, at least 2 marvel at it, like i did yest. if ure lucky, go eat ther at e restaurants as well. reservations are not recommended, they are COMPULSORY! u wana eat ther u jolly well reserve beforehand; their restaurants r always full board, n e prices of e restaurant r so worth it! dress code: smart casual, don 4get tt. remember; u GTG.

who gets lost at VivoCity...ME!

u noe i stil cant get over e vastness of VivoCity. i was jus ther yesterday, n i tink tt was my how many-th time ther, n i stil cant find my way ard! yes i was LOST IN VIVOCITY! <gasp> i noe embarrassing isnt it? seriously, i was like tryin 2 find e way back 2 e carpark, then i went out walked a bit, then i realised id gone a full circle n ended up rite wher i started. not tt Vivo's signage helped much. as u noe, theyre upgrading e signs 2 b more, hem hem, user-friendly. lets c how friendly i get wif it <smirk> n of cos, tt place jus has 2 be e south pole lah rite? i went 2 e toilet, like, 3 times ther, and then drink so much water, aiyah so smart. at least e toilets r ok. i wonder wat theyre gona upgrade 4 e toilets. hmm...


Thursday, December 28, 2006

new year..again...

hi hi hi! wat u all doin 4 e new year? wats ur resolutions 4 e yr of e Boar? (4 e uninitiated, tts next yr) wats ine, u ask? well, personally i dun believe in new year resolutions, bcos i never fulfill them! u noe those nonsensical tings in sch wher they ask u 2 list ur new yr res? i ALWAYS make it all up. yup, i never hv any new yr res, cos i don believe in beelining str8 4 it. i believe in letting tings take its course, and try as hard as i mite, i noe ill still end up at e end, wateva tt may b. rite? all paths lead 2 e end. plus, its not the destination tt matters, but the journey, wateva u get on e way 2 tt final destination is to me, priceless. so, wat do u hope 4 e new yr? 4 me, i jus hope 2 get into a gd stream...Bye!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

---PoLiTiCs---

ok, so who noes abt e new cahnges 2 e penal code of spore? share ur views. so, accordin 2 e govt, its been changed 2 keep up with e changing technology which has evolved and modernised over e yrs with more ways 2 commit crime, eg handphone or internet. then, judges r also being asked to give more leeway when passing sentences. i mayb wrong but is ther any connection between e 2 main things (aforementioned). then, they're attempting 2 change e code 2 better protect younger children from assault (u noe wat i mean, im not gonna say it). now we noe tt spore's justice system is fairly um...just compared 2 some other countries (im not sayin anythin, ur entitled 2 ur own opinion) but with e ew changes in penal code, do u thnk the system will ultimately change for the bettrer of for worse? well, thots any1? share, id luv 2 hear e views! ::'Nite!::

Friends...

hellooo! y didnt i write in yest? well...tts cos i was out from 11am in e morn n didnt come home till more than 12 hrs later! wher did i go, u ask? well...JALAN RAYA!!! of cos went wif my frens lah. it was soooooooo fun!! i say goin out wif ur frens is e best thing 2 do when ur a teen. i was out from 11 and only came home at almost midnight! twelve plus hrs of jalan raya! how cool is tt? i still cant believe we managed to complete 8 hses in 1 day, using public transport. but of cos, it was almost 1030 when we reached e last hse, n by tt time, our party of 8 had been reduced to a party of 4! dwindled by half...so much 4 e company.. aiyah, wat matters is tt we had FUN! yea i noe it sounds cheesy 2 say i enjoy goin out wif frens (juvenile rite) but i don care im jus expressin how i feel. i may not noe how my other frems felt, but i noe i felt gr8 even tho i was tired like anythin last night. doorstep :p! > well, tts all i guess, 2 sum up my jalan raya yest! watch out 4 pics of Vivo (i havent uploaded yet, relac, relac), they'll be here...BYEEEEEEE!!!

Monday, November 06, 2006

VivoCity!!!

Hey, me again. so, went 2 Vivo 2day. omg, its HUGE. tts all i can say. seriously, u can get lost in it! i mean, of course wat wif 1 mil sqm of shopping n retail!!! plus, intl brands like GAP (OMG) r ther! anyway, i jus went ther 2 c GAP cos its e 'ONLY' store in SEA!!! n its rite here in my Vivo!! i can visit anytime i wan! but seriously, e place is sprawling. its a vast expanse of shopping jungle there. then, theres e rooftop courtyards, which r so nice, if only it hadnt rained cats 'n' dogs when i went up jus now. sigh. nvm lah, managd 2 get some pics. ill post them soon. mayb when im not at risk of fallin face-first into my com screen. haha. 2 evry1 who HASNT been to Vivo, u hv 2 go, seriously. tho many shops r already open, there're still a few more shops yet to open. i thnk they should all be open soon. its 5 floors of shopping n retail, wif some other stores here n ther. then, thers e largest cineplex in S'pore. GV! i must really catch a movie at least once ther. anyway, tts all lah. jus wait 4 my pics ok! 'Night!

Jalan Raya..

Ok, so wat did i do yesterday e whole day? duh, go jalan raya! (for e uninitiated, tt means we go round visitin family members) so, anyway, b4 tt, went 2 a wedding (nice food), then started on jalan raya. despite the fact tt we only went 3 hses, we only came back home at 9.30pm. amazing, isn't it? how long it takes to sit at ppls hse, act nice, hv their kuih, chitchat. it takes a surprisingly long time to do that... anyway, came back as tired as anything yest nite. even so, i didnt sleep til around 11 or 12. usually i sleep later than tt lah, but so tired leh. then, 2day woke up at 8.30. haiz..cant even sleep in peace properly. so, i guess tts all tt happened yest lah. oh oh i nearly 4got; my relative came at 10 plus, ya ya now i remember y i didnt sleep till late. they came, u noe relatives lah, we all chitchat, catch up u noe. then, eat a bit (jus kueh lah). then, this-that, this-that, it was 11-plus! i was so shocked 2 c time fly. sigh. get old so fast, hor? ok lah, wil post again on my trip 2day...

Saturday, November 04, 2006

New Braces!

Hi hi! wanted 2 tell u all abt my new coloured braces which jus got changed 2day. so , last time my braces were coloured green rite, so 2day i thot ok lah, change new colour. so, i thot i wld take red, u noe, give evry1 a gd scare. so much 4 tt; my whole plan backfired on me! i chose the red, rite, then when its finally on, it doesn't look blood-red at all! not scary at all! instead, ive had my family telling me different shades of colour. one said it looked pink. another said it looked flesh. another said it looked the colour of my lips, which is actually true from afar! im so sad, e red can only be seen close-up. sigh. so,so disappointed... im so embarrassed 2 go out now, in case some1 thnks it looks pink. *sigh* Sayonara...

Festivities...

Yo all! hey guys sry tt i havent posted for so long; i noe its been more than a wk since i last entered. i got a really gd reason, or rather 2 gd reasons; 1, been busy with e festivities (duh) n all tt visiting, u noe, in fact jus came back from visiting jus now,,2, ive had 2 go back 2 sch 4 my cca, though tts only a few days, so no sweat. besides, so many other ppl hv 2 go back 4 cca anyway. well, back 2 e topic. so howve i been celebrating? not much really, since primary sch hasnt fin yet so really busy so cant go cos i got younger sis in pri sch. so, e only time we can go visiting is e weekends. so, mostly jus go 2 ppls hses, chit-chat, eat kueh, smile and look nice. very interesting, rite? i noe, u jus wish 2 death u were in my life rite now. ok, wil talk soon. tt.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The First Day...

Ok, you'll never guess how I spent my Hari Raya tis yr. well, for e most part of e late morning n early afternoon, it was spent at e hospital. y? bcos my father nearly collapsed! do u noe i was worried sick? i was like, omg tis cant b happening on e first day of Hari Raya! y is my dad ill on e first day of Hari Raya?! anyway, i spent my hari raya at e waiting lounge of TTSH waiting 4 my dad 2 come out. my mum had gone in since they only allowed 1 person in, so i was like worryin myself 2 death at e lounge, drowning myself in e watercooler. so, our first day wasn't spent as per tradition, being happy n collecting $$$ n visiting relatives, but worrying n taking care of my dad. but i guess its ok, as long as hes ok. i mean, technically hari raya is a month-long, so plenty more time to do more visiting n collecting $$$. well, time 2 Zzzz soon. will update u all on how i spent e rest of hari raya...

Monday, October 23, 2006

Hari Raya!!! - is HERE!

Hiiii, I can't believe it! omg, 2day is e last day of fasting n tt means tt tmr is Hari Raya! finally, e day ive been waiting for this whole year is HERE. i can stop fasting! not tt im sayin tt fasting is a bad thing, i mean u get 2 lose weight n all, but being deprived of food n drink from dawn till dusk 4 a mth does take its toll on ur body. anyway, time 4 feasting n getting $$$!!! i wonder how much my collection will be tis yr? hmmm.... well, tts all, i guess, ill update on how i spent e first day of my celebrations! cheers!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Hari Raya!!!

Hi, me again. omg, i so totally cant wait 4 hari raya 2 b here! ill be able 2 celebrate it properly tis yr; last yr was 2 busy worryin abt PSLEs...i mean, it is only once a yr tt i celebrate hari raya, so i really gotta make it a grand event, rite, i mean its jus like any other festival any1 of any religion wld celebrate(most of e time). ok, ok i promise tis is my last post 4 2nite, im gettin sleepy 2... in fact i thnk im gonna go sleep now. gdnite!

Metal-mouth -_-

Hey all, wassup? ok, metalmouths out ther, sympathise with me. im sure those of u wearing braces out ther hv felt tt inevitable sense of annoyance when after u say something so long, only to find out that e person ur talkin 2 didnt understand wat u jus said n goes, "Huh, could u repeat tt pls?" don u feel like jus slappin tt face across his face? after slappin urself of cos, 4 not enunciating clearly, even tho u knew u had a problem wif pronunciation... but still u noe its not our prob rite, tt weve been subjected 2 orthodontic treatment in the mandibalar( is tt how u spell it?) area. so anyway gtg now; time 2 ZzZzZ. hehe hehe... ttfn!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Tired...so tired...

Hey, ho, evry1 in e hse say hey,ho! Oh wow, who knew entertainin relatives cld b so tiring? ok, mayb tt was jus bcos i was entertaining e younger ones (wat else is new?) tt i felt so tired. well, u wld feel tired 2 if u were constantly bein bugged 2 switch on ur Xbox despite e fact tt there r ppl in ur rm, using it, n despite e numerous explanations, it never seems to sink in...sigh...ah well, its all over now..sniff sniff....there goes my only reprieve. tmr is e final day of e wkend n then its back 2 sch on monday. but...ive got 2 days of str8 holiday on tues & wed. thnk god 4 tt. more playin. heh heh heh. well, gonna hit e hay soon so...gdnite all!

Morning!

Gd mornin evry1, a brnd new Saturday! For me, e 21st day of fasting!! Well, im gonna b a busy rat 2day, runnin ard. ive got guests comin 2 my place n as usual im put in charge of F&B as well as Entertainment. well, at least its sumthin i do well...well i wanna go read e straits times now, wil get back 2 u on e news n wat i thnk. till then, ttfn!

Back from Hari Raya Shopping!

hey, me again, jus came back from Geylang Serai, tho its not at e old place wher it used 2 b, e new one is equally jam-packed wif so many ppl! As per tradition, there was e customary shoving, foot-stepping and other painful/uncomfortable actions tt come wif a large crowd of ppl, all jostling 2 complete as much of e bazaar as possible. so wat else is new...kiasu s'poreans... well, didn't really get anythin, tts my family tradition; jus do window shopping, then nearer e date (usually a few days b4) then start rushing 4 all e latest fashion so can b oh-so-fashionable. im not sayin its a bad thing; its actually kinda fun, n when ure used 2 it, it doesnt really matter much... well, i really gtg Zzz now, ultra-tired, then nid 2 wake up early tmr my life is so busy... well gdnite pips.!.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Life...

Hey all! hows u been? omg todays e 20th day of fasting! thnk god 4 tt! tmr wil b e 3rd wk of fasting, i so cant believe its gone by so fast...this year has whizzed by so fast! anyway, life is so short; you could be alive n kicking today, but tmr u cld be down some terminal disease n makin preps 4 leavin e mortal world... i mean look at Seha, the Malaysian artiste; she passed away on wednesday to lung cancer only at 44yo. tts still so young. im only drawing her example cos i cant think of any1 else. im sure tt there're lots more ppl who've lost themselves so young to diseases. but wat im tryin 2 say is, u never noe when ur lifes gonna end...n tts e scary part. imean imagine if today u were hangin out wif frens n tmr ur diagnosed with stage IV cancer. im sure, for most ppl, their world comes crashing down. if it were me, id definitely feel tt way. like, omg, i don hv much time 2 live. so tts y weve gotta live life 2 e fullest n look ahead, even when e road 4ward is bleak n shrouded in darkness... theres some food 4 thot 2 get those brain cells of urs working...

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Final Exams...

ok, im sure most of u( who r/were schoolin) hv had 2 face e horrors of FINAL EXAMS at e end of evry sch yr. for me, my very first final exam(fye) in secondary 1 was, nidless 2 say, a horrible experience. yes, we had been preparing e whole yr, but u noe tt even when u prepare 4 sumthin for such a long time, when e real thing comes, ur never feeling quite prepared 4 it. ok, im jus generalising here, cos tts how i feel. some ppl may feel differently, but i noe tts how i feel in e face of such an event. well, wateva it is, its all over now...n i can finally give over to my sinful indulgences of glueing my face to my screen, hands perpetually fixed to my xbox controller, blasting every enemy out of my way... such is the way of life for those w/o worries...n those who hv jus fin their fyeS!!! O, its such a marvellous feeling of after-exam euphoria, u noe...

Hi hi hi!!!

HI!!! hey all...tis is my first entry on this blog! ok, so much for that... finally, i can devote all my time to this blog; all my previous blogs were total flops, i was jus 2 busy wif school 2 maintain a single one. now tt my final exams r over...i can do wateva i wan!!! which includes devoting myself to this blog and you getting fresh new comments on e latest things! so...come back regularly for new bits 'n' bites! till next time...BYEEEE!