Illusions...

I think it's time to forever abandon some illusions that i had in the past. time for me to realise that some things will never be, and that other things will remain as they are. as much as i try to change them, they will remain as they are. no matter how much i pray for some things to happen, god doesn't seem to want to work miracles for me. i understand. who am i for him to work miracles for? being a sinner doesn't exactly allow u to qualify for god's privileges. lol. what a ludicrous analogy. just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. what a hilarious, yet succinct way of putting some things in perspective. don't ask me what. you know, i think that as humans, we have to realise and accept that what we want may not always be given to us, especially that which we crave the most. i mean, god has given me everything i could possibly want. i wanted 6 points for prelims, he granted that wish. i wanted a happy family, and a great home. he granted me it. whatever i've asked for, god has always granted it. all except a few things which i want, very, very much. they involve some things ending. and being taken away from me. i can't blame god; not when he has given me almost everything i could possibly want in this life. so for that, i thank god. and i pray to be able to go on with life, this year, as best as i can. to take everything in my stride. to work hard, and work smart, and do the best i can for the o's which are in exactly 2 weeks. it'll be over in exactly one month. from what it's worth from a sinner, o lord this i ask in your most caring and loving name. amin.