Dies irae, dies illa...
THE day of Judgment. tomorrow. i still can't believe it's finally here. after awaiting and anticipating it for the past 2 months, so it looms now on my horizon, ominous and portentous, haunting me in my peaceful slumber. haha. i make it sound so dramatic. ok well, yes i am terrified. i wont refute that. the outcome of this examination is most likely to determine my future, my career, my life etc. yes, i do find it a little harrowing that this exam will determine a person's future, and at such a young age. when youth should not be taxed thus, it is instead being impelled to make a possibly life-affecting decision. frankly, i don't really comprehend the mechanics of our education system here, although i must concede, i stopped attempting to a while ago. perhaps more learned, sagacious souls have pondered over it, and come up with the fantastic system we have in place currently. of course, it is without question that we have one of the most sterling education systems. but i have divagated.
Yes, back to the utterly cheerful subject of my impending doom (forgive the cliche) tomorrow. i am truly waiting with bated breath, and i will be very much astounded if i do not have a nervous breakdown tomorrow, while awaiting my results. it has been very, very stressful these past 2 months. and to tally, i have had 4 dreams/nightmares about tomorrow in the past 2 months, while awaiting my results. i must admit, it has been very tense. i really cannot even begin to envision what the atmosphere will be like tomorrow. well, undoubtedly it will be tense, anxious et al. but i really do wonder as to my state of mind tomorrow. i'm quite glad i've managed to hold the panic attacks off well enough; i was definitely not this sanguine on the eve of my first paper last year. perhaps i'm improving at this sangfroid thing. i suppose it will stand me in good stead in the future.
Oh, and there's another uncertainty. the future is a shifting thing, constantly in motion. and i have never really had such an affinity for change. being the obdurate taurean i am, i am highly resistant to change, and i cherish constancy. sadly however, as we are all aware of, change is the only constant in this world. oh paradoxes. i love them. i still remember arguing with my teacher abt them in literature class 2 years ago. haha. oh such memories. nostalgia. lol. i feel so old, reminiscing about my times in school. it was only the past 4 years. ah well. i figure i'd better go and get some shut-eye now. i'll require every ounce of energy and willpower, and strength to brave tomorrow, hopefully without trauma. so cheers. night! best of luck to everyone!~
Yes, back to the utterly cheerful subject of my impending doom (forgive the cliche) tomorrow. i am truly waiting with bated breath, and i will be very much astounded if i do not have a nervous breakdown tomorrow, while awaiting my results. it has been very, very stressful these past 2 months. and to tally, i have had 4 dreams/nightmares about tomorrow in the past 2 months, while awaiting my results. i must admit, it has been very tense. i really cannot even begin to envision what the atmosphere will be like tomorrow. well, undoubtedly it will be tense, anxious et al. but i really do wonder as to my state of mind tomorrow. i'm quite glad i've managed to hold the panic attacks off well enough; i was definitely not this sanguine on the eve of my first paper last year. perhaps i'm improving at this sangfroid thing. i suppose it will stand me in good stead in the future.
Oh, and there's another uncertainty. the future is a shifting thing, constantly in motion. and i have never really had such an affinity for change. being the obdurate taurean i am, i am highly resistant to change, and i cherish constancy. sadly however, as we are all aware of, change is the only constant in this world. oh paradoxes. i love them. i still remember arguing with my teacher abt them in literature class 2 years ago. haha. oh such memories. nostalgia. lol. i feel so old, reminiscing about my times in school. it was only the past 4 years. ah well. i figure i'd better go and get some shut-eye now. i'll require every ounce of energy and willpower, and strength to brave tomorrow, hopefully without trauma. so cheers. night! best of luck to everyone!~
posted by Angelic Harbinger of Death at 11:36:00 pm
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