A New Month...

WELL, that's it. the end of the week, the end of july. actually its already 1st august today but nvm. yesterday was a totally hectic day. i cant even rmbr wat happened during lessons, except i was falling asleep in ss yet again. its amazing how much u wanna just put your head down and sleep. but anyway. after school had MCS yest, and i was rather glad that they showed marked improvement. of course, perfection seems to be an interminably long way away, but at least they're playing together. i mean the juniors. sigh. what to do ah, when your juniors in your cca are utterly despondent and unmotivated, and can't be bothered to do anything. sigh. terrible. but anyway, today was ok. i suppose. maths, did 2 qns of trigo eqns, was called upon to present my answer for qn 2(a). lucky i can do maths now. i tell you ah, in lower sec u ask me to present answers right, i will like steal my friend's (who's good in maths) book/ws and give that answer instead. of course, there were some times when i didnt do that, so there were some times i got things wrong. on the board. for everyone to see. but nvm that. anyway, digression aside. next was ss; im so glad i managed to stay awake. but boring as usual. then bio. prac! so fun, although it was so stressing, cos i cldnt get my sucrose solution concentrations right. i was actually the last to leave the lab! which fyi has never happened before. so annoying. then rushed up to change for pe. helped to time the napfa runners. so quite slack. haha. then played a bit of rugby (just catching and passing). after recess, had physics. again called upon to answer question. lucky easy one. just say, gas particles are in constant, random motion. yada yada yada. then left for malay, left my phone in class, doubled back to class to get it. yeah, my day was full of rushing around school.

As for ncc, i spent half of training running around the school to find a godblessed computer to do the blog/website. first go to comlabs. then she say no open lab today cos all labs being used by cca. so we left after the coms started major lagging (typical) and headed to the library. then @ the library, kena scolded by the counterwoman, for wearing pe in (we're not allowed to wear pe) then she say, ''im the one who will be blamed for letting u in, u dun wan me to get blamed do you''. of cos i do! duh. git. then she chased us out. i was already like, giving her attitude la. so pantat. already im rushing around the whole school, u wanna scold me for wearing pe. sue me. jeez. so we went back to the air room, changed (just wore over our pe) and went back there again. then we managed to persuade the chief librarian (not her) to waive our fees for internet usage, since it was NCC business. haiz. then we left at 1630, cos they close at 1630. then went to change out again, then went to take more pictures of ppl having modules. oh great, that reminds me; i need to sift through like, 300+ pictures. damn. then after training, while waiting for my dad, played some badminton with my partmates. wah, so fun. the only time i actually perspired due to physical exertion. lol.

Anyway, on a completely different note; justice. i think that justice, true justice can never exist in this world, as long as it is humans who are judging. humans are not infallible, thus the laws they created are subject to the same fallibilities. so then, how can justice be carried out if these laws are erroneous, in a way. justice is blind? yes it is, but not in the positive way it is, rather in the most negative way, that is, it cannot truly see who are the perpetrators and who the innocents. yes, there have even been times when the two were wrongly switched, innocents falsely convicted, unlawfully sentenced. unfortunately, i do not, cannot believe in justice anymore. justice is merely an illusion created by man to create the fantasy of an ordered and structured, fair world. yet the truth is as distant from that image as we are from utopia. in other words, we're nowhere near. corruption and bribery, deceit and fraudulence, rampant throughout our societies and communities, lavishing in impunity, when they should be languishing. you see, life isnt fair. anyone who thinks it is is deceiving themselves. anyone who thinks they can uphold justice and the law is lying to themselves. so long as humans are judging each other, equality, justice, truth, fairness will never prevail.

the quality of mercy is not strained
it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
upon the place beneath it is twice blest
it blesseth him that gives and him that takes
'tis mightiest in the mightiest. it becomes
the throned monarch better than his crown.
...but mercy is above this sceptred sway,...
it is an attribute of god himself

And that is why humans' idea of mercy, justice, truth is merely a perverse twist of an attribute of god himself, a demented idea, dangling from the most fragile thread. ready to break at any moment, and plunge the world into deeper despair.