WHAT an exhausting week ive been having. i swear, this week has just been dragging on, despite the youth day holiday, which i can barely remember now. goodness. lets see, tuesday, mcs till abt 5. its ok i suppose. wednesday. hmm. i cant remember what i even did on wednesday. see what i mean. its just a confusing blur. anyone who can remember, pls tell me. yesterday. um. was quite slack. quite fun actually. esp english. lol. geog for last period was BORING though. channelisation. what nonsense..dykes, gabions. whatever. then was chionging the stupid emaths poster yesterday. had to lug it back home to colour it, again. i was so pissed. i hate colouring, not least because im an artistic retard. haha. today was quite a relax day too. no training, thank GOD. lets see; maths, trigonometric ratios (idiotic), geog (boring), bio (practical, only demo though, but still didnt hv to listen to teacher), pe (redid my standing broad jump [yes, stop sneering], thank god i passed today), recess, chem (stupid test on qualitative analysis, its the only topic i hate), then mother tongue (collected some notes, then zao for friday prayers lol).

then after school supposed to have NCC meeting, went to settle the booth for tomorrow's Open House, then went to help with picture selection. i only finished at 5 (sigh). everyone else had gone home, except exco. sigh. then im down for morning duty tomorrow for open house. so sianz...must wake up early...! then i'll be wearing my stuffy No.1 and tolerating parents and potentates. god help me have patience. then tomorrow evening got S4 farewell all the way at changi beach. god above. the other end of the world. tomorrow is gonna be SUCH a busy day. sigh. argh. i havent done my theory homework. sigh. thank god next week's humanities is social studies. i cant stand anymore oxbow lakes and meanders, or headlands and bays, tombolos and spits. whatever. this is already wk 3. common tests are in wk 8. only 5 wks left!! and i still have a stupid bio project left. atherosclerosis...whatever. anyway, that'll be all for now. ttyl. :P

Forever Etched

Bound by my soul
Chained to my fears
I beg you, I pray,
Release me from my sins

Under the wings of death,
Speeding from this life
Burning in the Light, unhand me from the night

Let go of it all
Don't make me go near you
Let me breathe
I'm dying here alone

Speak to the sky
Never answered
I yearn to, please
Just break my soul

Under the wings of death,
Speeding from this life
Burning in the Light, unhand me from the night

Let go of it all
Don't make me go near you
Let me breathe
I'm dying here alone

Yielding to the pain
Succumbing to
My suffering
Help me see your face
I will see the end,
Etched in every block of stone
Never to be seen,
But always to be heard
Leave with my tears...

Let go of it all
Don't make me go near you
Let me breathe
I'm dying here alone

26th May 2008
Copyright Mikhail

Youth Day...

Yeah yeah, i know, its been ages since the last post. ive been really busy with anniversary parade (ap). seriously. im so glad its over now. anyway, more on that later. had quite a fun youth day today. first, went out with tsao and yohanes to register for my IC, even though im like 3 months late, but who cares. luckily it didnt take too long. then we had lunch after that, and i went home. begrudgingly, i started on what was left of my homework; namely my geog ws, and editing my essay for competition submission. dun ask. then at ard 1345, michael rang me up and told me he was bored. he asked if i wanted to go out. yeah, now u know what to do when you're bored. lol. anyway, i finished up my last sentence, got ready and left to meet him at novena, then headed to orchard, walked ard at taka, wisma, sat down for a frappe at McCafe (yum), then went home. yeah, it was fun. i mean, its always fun when you go out with a friend.

yeah, so that was about it for youth day. oh great, now im rushing cos i wanna catch Chuck at 9. never mind. anyway, AP. u know, all the rehearsals were really screwed up, but i actually had fun during the actual thing itself. amazingly. before that was POP, which was really screwed up. but never mind that. yeah. anyway, im officially taking over now, as seniors. ah, power. now i sound like a megalomaniac. right. anyway, its back to school tomorrow. double mother tongue, god help me. the boredom. thers chem though, thankfully and RME, which is our unofficial slack period. but then, thers also geog and lit tmr. god. we'll see what happens tomorrow.

moving on, what happens when you see perfection all around you? what happens when it seems as if everyone else looked better, or was better in any other way, or EVERY other way? mankind's pursuit of perfection has led to heightened depravity, namely in the form of plastic surgery, rhinoplasty, botox, etc etc. yeah, lets all go and get plastic faces and noses. but anyway, digression aside. for me, seeing perfection all around me everyday hasnt really inoculated me against it, rather it has sensitised me further to it. whether or not you believe it, i do hv a low self-esteem. (yes, stop sniggering, dolt) perfection, perfection, perfection. getting hit in the face with blasts of perfection with the force of an 18-wheeler can be a rather bemusing and to a certain extent, frustrating, experience. now im not going to pretend that oh yes i see that perfection and beauty is only skin deep, and beauty is what lies within, because very simply i cant get myself to believe in it. im not gonna pretend to be humanitarian and pretend to care abt suffering children in 3rd world countries, because im not a saint. im just gonna be a normal, insecure teenager like most others.