A New Month...

WELL, that's it. the end of the week, the end of july. actually its already 1st august today but nvm. yesterday was a totally hectic day. i cant even rmbr wat happened during lessons, except i was falling asleep in ss yet again. its amazing how much u wanna just put your head down and sleep. but anyway. after school had MCS yest, and i was rather glad that they showed marked improvement. of course, perfection seems to be an interminably long way away, but at least they're playing together. i mean the juniors. sigh. what to do ah, when your juniors in your cca are utterly despondent and unmotivated, and can't be bothered to do anything. sigh. terrible. but anyway, today was ok. i suppose. maths, did 2 qns of trigo eqns, was called upon to present my answer for qn 2(a). lucky i can do maths now. i tell you ah, in lower sec u ask me to present answers right, i will like steal my friend's (who's good in maths) book/ws and give that answer instead. of course, there were some times when i didnt do that, so there were some times i got things wrong. on the board. for everyone to see. but nvm that. anyway, digression aside. next was ss; im so glad i managed to stay awake. but boring as usual. then bio. prac! so fun, although it was so stressing, cos i cldnt get my sucrose solution concentrations right. i was actually the last to leave the lab! which fyi has never happened before. so annoying. then rushed up to change for pe. helped to time the napfa runners. so quite slack. haha. then played a bit of rugby (just catching and passing). after recess, had physics. again called upon to answer question. lucky easy one. just say, gas particles are in constant, random motion. yada yada yada. then left for malay, left my phone in class, doubled back to class to get it. yeah, my day was full of rushing around school.

As for ncc, i spent half of training running around the school to find a godblessed computer to do the blog/website. first go to comlabs. then she say no open lab today cos all labs being used by cca. so we left after the coms started major lagging (typical) and headed to the library. then @ the library, kena scolded by the counterwoman, for wearing pe in (we're not allowed to wear pe) then she say, ''im the one who will be blamed for letting u in, u dun wan me to get blamed do you''. of cos i do! duh. git. then she chased us out. i was already like, giving her attitude la. so pantat. already im rushing around the whole school, u wanna scold me for wearing pe. sue me. jeez. so we went back to the air room, changed (just wore over our pe) and went back there again. then we managed to persuade the chief librarian (not her) to waive our fees for internet usage, since it was NCC business. haiz. then we left at 1630, cos they close at 1630. then went to change out again, then went to take more pictures of ppl having modules. oh great, that reminds me; i need to sift through like, 300+ pictures. damn. then after training, while waiting for my dad, played some badminton with my partmates. wah, so fun. the only time i actually perspired due to physical exertion. lol.

Anyway, on a completely different note; justice. i think that justice, true justice can never exist in this world, as long as it is humans who are judging. humans are not infallible, thus the laws they created are subject to the same fallibilities. so then, how can justice be carried out if these laws are erroneous, in a way. justice is blind? yes it is, but not in the positive way it is, rather in the most negative way, that is, it cannot truly see who are the perpetrators and who the innocents. yes, there have even been times when the two were wrongly switched, innocents falsely convicted, unlawfully sentenced. unfortunately, i do not, cannot believe in justice anymore. justice is merely an illusion created by man to create the fantasy of an ordered and structured, fair world. yet the truth is as distant from that image as we are from utopia. in other words, we're nowhere near. corruption and bribery, deceit and fraudulence, rampant throughout our societies and communities, lavishing in impunity, when they should be languishing. you see, life isnt fair. anyone who thinks it is is deceiving themselves. anyone who thinks they can uphold justice and the law is lying to themselves. so long as humans are judging each other, equality, justice, truth, fairness will never prevail.

the quality of mercy is not strained
it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
upon the place beneath it is twice blest
it blesseth him that gives and him that takes
'tis mightiest in the mightiest. it becomes
the throned monarch better than his crown.
...but mercy is above this sceptred sway,...
it is an attribute of god himself

And that is why humans' idea of mercy, justice, truth is merely a perverse twist of an attribute of god himself, a demented idea, dangling from the most fragile thread. ready to break at any moment, and plunge the world into deeper despair.

Fiendish...

THIS week, so far, has been absolutely fiendish. i suppose monday was ok, since i left school after recess to ggo for piano exam. nvm how that went though. :P anw. yesterday was a really hectic day. firstly i got back my chem test, on structure of matter, and guess what i got. 5. out of 15. u noe i was in hysterics. i ttly couldnt believe that i scored THAT low. it was appalling. disgraceful. argh. i was so irate, it was unbelievable. anw. then of cos, after an ss lesson during which i nearly fell asleep, there was MCS, which was another catastrophe, since some gits got it into their minds they can come and go as they want, what with the performance being next week. god. finished at about 5, then got home, and started on the colossal pile of homework. then, got to work on the tedious NCC website and blog. sigh. it was like, 8.40pm when i finished yest. just enough time for dinner, then watched ugly betty, then dropped straight off to sleep. i just couldnt tahan. i was out by 10.30. so yeah.

Today was...ok...I suppose. lit, i argued with the teacher a bit. so much fun contradicting a teacher and showing off. lol. XD eng, had some article fallacies thingy. at least no essay tmr!! then phy, ok la, went thru ex 6, then maths, struggled a bit cos i missed the lesson on monday, right. but it got ok after a while. then after recess, maths (again), we had this stupid test, the whole period, i barely finished. it'll be another miracle if i pass that test. i hate radians. then after that had bio. sigh. cldnt understand anything tho. yes, u ppl know why. anyway, then chem, we had another test, this time from tys. sigh. ok la. whole period test again. so quite a slack day. then after school, helped my friend settle his essay submission, we're nominating our eng teacher for inspiring teacher of english award. yeah, then went home. luckily, i finished the trigonometry (3) in school, so effectively no hw! yay! so i started cooking carrot cake. (chai tow kway) yeah, its still steaming now, i hope i got it right. lol. if it screws up again, i dunno wat to say la.

You know, getting back that chem test was a real eye-opener for me. i mean, having never scored that low before, im not used to such substandard work, and what surprised and shocked me most was that, hey, thats my work. and my work is now worth 5/15 marks. when you realise that, then u realise how much the value of failure is. i mean, yeah, i dun think i wld ever want to fail anything, esp not an examinable subject. but still, the cliched saying that yes, failure is the mother of success, doesnt really appeal to me, at all, actually. i mean, i think that too fail is too fail. period. no euphemisms, just you and your failure, which is a slap in the face for you and a kick in the ass, knocking u off your high horse. sure, you puritans (yes, puritans) may think that oh, failure is a part of life, and u havent lived if u havent failed etc etc, yeah ok. but like i said, in the end, all that remains, is that YOU FAILED. simple as that. nothing fancy, nothing deep. think about it.

ARGH...

IT'S been a little over a week since i last blogged. which just goes to show how busy this stupid week has been. monday, dining etiquette. tuesday, mcs till 1730. wed, managed to go home. thur, managed to go home, thanks to breakdown in communications resulting in cancellation of mcs practice. gits. friday, training, leave early at 4 to help out with concert duty, providing food for the performers, then rush to watch concert itself. I must say, though, the Gathering of Kindred Spirits this year was really fun. i enjoyed myself tremendously! it was like being at a classical concert and a rock concert simultaneously. seriously. one minute its paganini and sarasate, the next its red jumpsuit apparatus and rihanna. damn. how much better can it get? u get the best of both worlds. oh, and the dances. oh, and IJTP dance. that was nice. haha. wat? wat do u expect? u noe i doing food &refreshments duty earlier rite? and my fren told me some of the IJ girls didnt eat, for fear of um, losing shape. ok...nvm. but who cares? their dance rocked. so all in all, i had a really fun night with my friends, and kindred this year is not something im likely to forget.

So basically, yeah, thats whats been happening this crazy week. yesterday went to watch dark knight. it ROCKED. i swear to god. the joker was AMAZING. wish i could be like that... why-so-serious??? and the makeup? nightmarish. and the acting? maniacal. depraved. awesome. but yeah, i hv to agree with the reviewers, the joker really overshadowed the caped crusader this time. and the storyline was fantastic. thank god it wasnt one of those happy endings, u know. according to my mum, it was so depressing. i LOVED it. the twists and turns were exhilarating and fresh. kudos to christopher nolan. anyway, tomorrow is my Grade 3 piano practical exam, so wish me luck. sigh. i hope i can do this! at least i get to leave school early tomorrow. yay! no bio, maths. ill die for maths tho, if i hv to catch up. but nvm, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, eh? anyway, toodles for now!